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-   -   Hey. I resemble that! (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/hey-i-resemble-t216474.html)

Jan in VA 03-15-2013 05:37 PM

Hey. I resemble that!
 
At the root of every gray hair, there is a dead brain cell.

Someone had to remind me,
So I'm reminding you, too.
Don't laugh.... It is all true!
Perks of reaching 50
Or being over 60
And heading towards 70 or beyond!

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 'Did I wake you?'

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now will never wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.

And you notice these are all in big print for your convenience.

Forward this to everyone you can remember right now!

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

Never, NEVER, NEVER, under any circumstances,
Take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!


Jan in VA

Tothill 03-15-2013 05:39 PM

I am going to send this to Mom.

crafty pat 03-15-2013 05:41 PM

Oh, to funny. Thanks for the laugh.

Pollytink 03-15-2013 05:48 PM

ROFLOL!! So funny and so so true! Altho I'm pretty sure I'm still working on #6!

BDawn 03-15-2013 05:54 PM

way to funny.

QuiltnNan 03-15-2013 07:01 PM

good one!!!

alikat110 03-15-2013 07:57 PM

Hilarious......

mighty 03-16-2013 06:40 AM

That is great!!!!

kitsykeel 03-16-2013 07:45 PM

Oh Jan how cute. I wish I knew how to forward this to my dad and best friend. I may just have to retype it in an e-mail unless someone here can tell me how to forward it.

ranbro 03-17-2013 03:30 AM

Just way to funny but also way to true. Thanks


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