Holidays -
 

Holidays -

Do you love them?

or

Would you just like to pretend they are not there?


I think for many of us - the "ordinary" days are "ordinary" - but I think for some - that the "special" holidays would be tougher to get through than the "ordinary" days -

Of the "holidays" celebrated/observed in the United States - I am thinking that Labor Day has the least "emotional baggage" for most of us.

What do you think?

Even though I am married to a wonderful man and have fantastic daughters I really don't care for Mother's Day, Father's Day or Valentines Day. I don't need a "special" day to make others remember me. I have a birthday and enjoy that - but the those others are a waste of money to me. I do love celebrating Christmas, Thanksgiving, 4th of July, Memorial Day, Labor Day - great reasons to have the family together and eat some good food you don't eat the rest of the year. All Presidents Day doesn't get much celebration from our family - but it was a nice day off when I was still working.

I have got to the point that I almost hate all of the holidays. Use to love Christmas, then the g-kids came. DIL has ruined all that. We have to chose gifts from a list that she has approved of. She gets first choice, her mother second and we are last. You guessed it, the hardest if not impossible to get gifts. Enough said.

Since my DH passed away, most holidays are sad. This past year was the first time in my life I spent Thanksgiving and Christmas by myself. I survived. I would rather be alone than with strangers or family of an acquaintance (that was an option.)

What hurt was not getting NO invitation anywhere, I probably wouldn't have gone, middle of winter and over 100 miles from family. What hurt was no one cared enough to say "What are you doing for the holidays, are you going to be OK?"

It seems the only holiday without sad memories is Halloween. Even though I only got 4 kids trick or treating last year.

I don't mind the holidays, but I do mind getting the gifts. I don't need anything. If I need or want something, I like to pick it out myself. And, I really don't like to pick out gifts for others either. I always think they wouldn't like what I give them. My DD and I decided to do our Christmas shopping in the grocery store. Then the gifts are not "life-time treasures." They are eaten and enjoyed ... or given to the nearest food bank.

Holidays are supposed to be perfect and extremely rarely are. They are just unnecessarily stressful.

They're just another day to us, about the only thing different I do, is I do bake a ham/turkey for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but that's about it.

I use to enjoy the holidays but it seems that I am the one to always do the traveling...so, I Spend my holidays in a car. Not fun! My favorite holidays are Memorial Day and Veteran's Day since I do a lot with and for veterans...most of my friends are veterans...and my father was a veteran...and I'm a mental health therapist for veterans. I enjoy Christmas mostly because of church services. I'm not a mother myself....I love to spoil my mother and MIL but I do that all year anyway.

That does hurt and I'm sorry you experienced that. It sounds like you should start some new traditions for yourself to celebrate what's important to you and surround yourself with people you enjoy being with...perhaps, inviting people over to your home instead of waiting for invitations. New traditions are a great way to fill your holidays with new meaning. Happy Mother's Day!

Geesh, Eva....nothing like sucking the joy out of giving, huh? I'd tell DIL to suck it up and give the gifts you want to give. You don't need permission to spoil your grandkids. She has control issues....

I make a big effort to bring the family together for all holidays and birthdays. we don't really do gifts, but we get together and have a big family meal (we look like the Blue Bloods around a very large table). The grands refer to them as "feasts". Their mom's say they are picky eaters and won't eat much, but the grandkids (ages 7, 4 , 2 and 2wks) sit at the table with perfect manners and say very gracious words like, "this is the best food ever". "this meat is so juicy and tender". "This is a real feast", and things usually only adults say, except they gush. I think the 2 yr old, eats her weight in good food, and the 4 year old always says a beautiful grace. I have Muscular Dystrophy, and can barely walk. I may not be able to cook and entertain much longer, so each holiday i secretly think it may be my last, but I push through the pain because I think family is so important. And each holiday, my kids pitch in more and more. This mothers day, the 7 yr old GD cleared the whole table by herself. WoW, I was so impressed (and told her so). I also hope my kids will get beyond the intense child raising of "babies", and continue the tradition, maybe at their house, where I will be a guest. But everyone loves to come to Meme and PopPop's house, sit on the screened in porch, and enjoy the farm, tractors, animals, and orchard. I will do it as long as I can.

Our now ex-daughter in law used to email family members mid November with a list of what the grandkids wanted.
Of course it was always the new expensive latest things out she sent in our email.
I would reply with their things were on layaway already. And asked if any of the relatives thought her email was tacky like we did.

I love holidays and love to decorate especially for Christmas . I was blessed to have my 19 year old grandson come for Christmas and he asked if he could bring a friend, Of couse all are welcome he drove over 300 miles to see us! he and his friend also came for Easter and his friend (just a buddy not a girl)told me the food was awesome and that he never had a grandma that cooked like that. I believe he was abused as a child from what I can pick up and he really has no family. I had a housefull but loved it. not all my kids are close but the ones that are stop over and the others all call on holidays.

My kids have all moved 3.5 hours away but we still try to get together for Christmas and Thanksgiving. No grandkids yet.

I do love Christmas, but not the gifts. They are a source of stress... both in figuring out what to give and in receiving, when I don't really need or want a thing. I love Thanksgiving because it's like Christmas without the gifts. Perfect.

There are too many holidays. Every time you turn around it's time for another one! I have no use for Valentine's Day, and my Dad always taught me that Mother's Day and Father's Day were the invention of Hallmark, so they could sell more cards and gifts. It's true. So many of the smaller holidays are just an inconvenience because the banks are closed and there's no mail service those days. I guess I'm a Grinch for those holidays. :p

Fourth of July is great, except there aren't the community celebrations like there used to be.... which is too bad. I love seeing July 4th celebrations of old in the movies.

How about giving them a gift of an experience? Scenic train ride, tickets to Nutcracker, trip to zoo or amusement park or sports event? Of course it would be JUST the GK's and GP's.... let the parents stay home.

They are all just ordinary days. The only day I look forward to is the Winter Solstice because I know it will soon be Spring and the daylight hours get longer.

For the most part I love holidays. Yes, I miss family that are either gone or 3000 miles away. I don’t have children yet the child inside me still sees the joy in holiday preparations. Christmas is my favorite time and I decorate all out - even if it’s only me, my DH, and the dog. Lol Christmas was my mother’s favorite holiday and I have a special little tree honoring her memory plus three other trees throughout the house.

I love the holidays and I love all of the memories from ones in the past. I have lost my husband, parents, sister and brother but I love remembering. I still have my children, niece and nephew and grandchildren though most are far away. I no longer have 25 for dinner but I invite friends. I am lucky in that I do not suffer from depression and I think it is because I stay busy. Our favorite holiday is Thanksgiving because we are thankful. I decorate for Christmas but give only to the kids. We adopt families and donate. We don't need anything and it got to hard to shop and ship. We still celebrate birthdays with presents..I usually get certificates from a fabric stores which I love!

Other than Christmas, my family doesn't really celebrate most holidays, but I do try to get my mom and dad something for Mother's/Father's Day, and a little something for their birthdays. DH's family sends their wishes over the phone, with no gifts involved.

Christmas with both of our families used to be huge events, with a big dinner, pricey gifts for immediate family, and additional gifts for extended family. It was overwhelming, to be honest. How do you choose an appropriate gift for people you only see once a year, and how is an average person supposed to afford all of that? Whew! Thankfully the gift-giving and elaborate dinners have dwindled down over time. I like seeing everybody and catching up, but I also like keeping things simple! :)

This is a very interesting thread. I used to love the holidays as well, even the shopping. lol Then came the daughter in laws. So I can relate. The good news is that I have adjusted my mind set on what the holidays should or should not be and I go with the flow. But I must admit, I don't feel the joy that I used to have when my kids were all at home. It might just be part of getting older ? Like not being able to see and / or hear as well as I used to be able to etc ? The only constant in life is change.... and holiday festivities, or lack thereof, is just one of those changes one has to accept. As the Good Book says: For everything, there is a season..... My mantra: It's all good !

I used to love the holidays. Since getting married and having contact with the "outlaws", I'm not really a fan and just wish I could have a few days off work without all the other stuff.

When husband's dad and stepmom moved back here 10 or 12 years ago, I did Thanksgiving and Christmas every year. They never offered to have it at their house or take us out. They are both retired and I'm still working full time. I just got tired of spending all my time off doing a meal for people who never reciprocated in any way so I finally just said "They can do the next holiday. I'll do the one after" That was several years ago and we haven't gotten together since. I really like it better. A nice quiet holiday. I even get to do a bit of sewing before I have to go back to work.

I used to like the holidays. Then when my husband passed away right after new years 31 years ago, I just wanted to go to sleep around Halloween and wake up after Valentine's day. I still think Valentine's day is sad for those of us alone; and just a way for the businesses to make money on cards, flowers, candy, etc. and a reminder to those of us that we 'have no one". It took me many years before I could begin to enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas again and New Years. And I too spend most ALL of them - alone. But I am now ok with it.

I don't really do Holidays much. My husband of 34 years was a bah humbug guy. spoiled my cheer I can tell you. besides, i was in Colorado away from my family. I do like Christmas but don't decorate a ton, just a few things around.

I do love the holidays, especially Christmas and Thanksgiving. I'm better at not trying to do every single thing there is to do for Christmas and enjoy it a lot more than when I got stressed out every year. I love my birthday but don't like getting older haha

I could do without holidays, especially the big 2, Thanksgiving and Christmas, for me, they are no longer what they used to be and are far to stesssful to be enjoyable. My daughter recently moved for her job and we agreed to do a Thanksgiving and Christmas celebration the first weekend in December and to alternate locations so it’s fair and no one has to deal with traveling on major holidays. It’s just us, I live alone and so does she, but in the past she has always spent the holidays with her BF’s family and that was fine with me.
I grew up an only child, and I have been on my own since I was 15, so perhaps I’m used to doing things by myself, and I don’t like when others “feel sorry that I’m alone”. But, I also love to cook too, so when I find a bunch of other people who are solo, I do ask if they want to come over and I enjoy cooking for all. I have an open door policy for anyone who wants a place to get away to, no one should ever feel that they are alone in this world! Everyday is a day to give thanks and feel blessed!

DH and I have decided that we will no longer put up a Christmas tree, since neither of us really care about it and only put it up for others to enjoy. I am planning on making a quilted tree to put up just for the sake of the visitors, and we will continue to put up the other decorations, just no longer a tree. I hate the mess, and no one wants to help us take it down after they put it up for us. We have decided that we will find a family (with kids) that might not have a way to get their own tree next year, give them my white tree, and all the decorations so they have a great tree, since most organizations in our area do gifts and food for others who can’t afford it, but no one gives trees. Our decorations are all realistic looking plastic (no glitter, can’t stand the mess) since we have fur kids and did not want any of them injured by breaking glass. Other holidays are just days.

Mother's day, Father's day and Valentine's day can be really difficult if you have lost those close to you.

Mother's Day is the hardest for me. I have one son out of state...and have had to go to my Mother in laws for the past 30 years.....it gets old!

You could always buy what you want the GKids to have and enjoy, and if possible, keep them at your house so they could enjoy them while visiting with you.

We haven't decorated for Christmas in about 8-10 years. Youngest Grandchild is now going on 16. His parents always decorate for him. The older kids had it and Daughter wants him to also. Building memories for him.

My husband and I would prefer to not celebrate any holidays. We have Daughter and Some local Grands here to barbecue on nice ones. I don't have any living siblings, never celebrated together any way.

I only enjoy Christmas. - I think that is a growing sentiment among us as we grow older. I, too, do not like the gift-giving aspect (much like SillySusan). We never did much on holidays while growing up, but my MOM made a big deal of Christmas and that is what I enjoy now, although my DH and I do tend to spend it alone as my brothers spend it with their wives' families. But I am beginning to get used to that also.

I, too, hated putting up a tree, etc. I had a florist friend make me a 1/2 tree to hang on the wall. I wrap it and hang it in the garage for storage. My LR room isn't large and we enjoy the tree which hangs and doesn't take up floor space. He put the lights on it and we hang the decorations on it.

I'm retired. All days are the same except when my children come home and eat more! LOL

I love getting together with family and friends on holidays.. it seems to be designated for that and less of a hassle than trying to get everyone together at other times. Otherwise holidays are just another day in paradise 😜

To me holidays are just another day that ends in "y". We don't celebrate any.