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-   -   How have you all delt with a child growing up? (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/how-have-you-all-delt-child-growing-up-t50914.html)

clem55 06-23-2010 04:37 AM


Originally Posted by watterstide

Originally Posted by Janetlmt
My son is 30 and lives about 5 miles away. He calls me every single day. My daughter lives about 25 miles away is married and has a child..she calls every day. I see them both a lot. I was a very protective parent with them. I knew they had to go out into the world and be themselves. Each had jobs at 15 and they both saved and bought a car. I actually had no problem with them moving on. Both of them have grown into fine adults. Our son is going into business for himself..our daughter is a nurse. As parents we all go thru their growing pains..we just need to guide them and let them make their own choices.

congrats Janet!
Mine are all grown and gone too..the oldest loves me more now than she ever did.she hated me all through her teen years, i was to strict.she is 33,expecting her 2nd baby. I think it is because she is a mom,she is a teacher with a masters. growing up opens thier eyes.she lives local.
My middle child is also a girl..she is 31, single,no kids.she is my "wanderer". she has always been indepentent. she has lived in Chicago,New York,and now florida. she has no problem picking up and moving on. she is happy and content. she calls almost every day.
My baby boy is going to be 29 this year. he loves his mom, always has been close to me. he is my tenderhearted child. he is in the service and says it is the best thing he ever did. he lives in texas with his wife and 2 kids.
I miss them, but they are living thier own lives,just like i raised them. i think with my husband and God, we did pretty darn good.
we were not without troubles, or friction. but they always came back to "home". sometimes it tested our patience..but they came back to what they were taught.
we helped them,only when they were helping themselves. they had jobs, saved for used cars..if they worked, we helped them with thier insurance, we paid half..so long as they were working and taking care of business.
when they were growing up, we never just gave them things..they earned them.they didn't have tv's in thier rooms,one computer in the main room.no dating until they were 16.no shopping mall time with thier friends,unless they had money to spend. no matter how old they got to be, my house ,my rules. curfews were fully enforced, it may not be right, but it was the way we did things.
i was married,then a single parent, then married again. the usual issues with all.
I am so proud of them all..and myself too!

Sounds pretty much thr way we did things. My kids are really great, we have a very close family, one dfaughter, three sons, and they all look out for the other. All live within 20 minutes of home, and I get drop ins about once a week, and phone calls all the time. My daughter works in the school system so she is off in the summer. She is here almost everyday, calls by 8:00 everyday, and usually after supper too. When she was a teen, we had such good times together, but I always told her, I'm Mom first, friend second. We still consider each other our best friend. The one thing that really amuses me now is our middle son. He has a daughter almost 21( two weeks away) and a 17 year old son. Boy, I thought we were strict, he is even more so!! The kids will say grandma, Dad this or that, was he treated that way? Once in awhile I call him on things that I think he is too strict about, but, he is doing a great job with them. I think the best advice is let them know how much you love them, teach them right from wrong, and if you do it right while they grow up, you won't ever lose them.

sewcrafty 06-23-2010 04:59 AM

OH YES!!!! Can't believe mine has graduated and now going off to college. Cried for 2 days before graduation and day of. I only have 1 so its always been a 1 chance thing and wer're very close. Have not been ready to cut this thread though!! :cry:

Have realized that I've raised a good person that will do well in life. He knows his own mind but, will always NEED his mom!! So hard!!!

{{{{HUGS}}}}

pstoner 06-23-2010 05:03 AM


Originally Posted by cjomomma
My Dd is 16, give me a minute as I sigh. At 16 came a boyfriend, a very nice young man and I hope he stays around. Then came the drivers permit and learning to drive. Today I took her around today to pick up applications, looking for a job. This is happening way to quick for me. She is my only daughter, we also have 2 sons. Is it normal to feel like I need to hold on to her longer and not let her grow up?

Oh so normal, and you haven't seen anything yet. Wait until you pack her things into the car and take her off to college. Oh the heartache, the anxiety, and yet somewhere comes the joy and pride. So many emotions. Somehow we all manage to let go. Although I have to say that all these things just increases the bond between the two of you.

SNUGQUILT 06-23-2010 07:25 AM

I had a rough time with my babies growing up. I just LOVED having babies, and being with them. My 'baby' is now 23!!! I still call him my baby! My other 3 are married and the two oldest have 3 children each. My son and his wife are expecting #4 (just found out), and my youngest daughter that got married last Oct. is expecting!!! That makes grandchild #8!! So...I didn't want my babies to grow up, but having grandbabies is AWESOME! :)

cjomomma 06-23-2010 07:41 AM

Thank you all for your support. My Dd is a good kid. She plans on staying with us til she graduates college, we have a nice university right here in town, so she won't be leaving any time soon. I want all of them to go I just didn't expect 16 to come so soon for the oldest one. I will probably be a grandma my the time little man Is old enough to move out so I still have many years before all of them are gone. Yes I am a very strike mom and they understand why. Thank you again.

littlehud 06-24-2010 08:03 AM

Each step is hard for us moms. When my youngest left for collage I realized I had spent my life getting her ready for this and forgot to get me ready. It was hard.

BellaBoo 06-24-2010 08:24 AM

I was looking forward for my two children(girls) to grow up and be independent. They both had valid driver's license at age 14, their own car at age 16. Back then there were hardship license for 14 year olds which was easy to get. Both stayed home all during their college years. To me those were the best years. I was beginning to think they were never going to leave the nest. DH spoiled them too much! LOL.
They are happy, kind, hardworking and interesting people who once were my babies.


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