Well last night a lady showed up. A semi relative by marriage to Don. She lost her job and wants to come rent our basement!!! Now if she could find room in it, she might be welcome.
But the main problem is she has an old large dog. Nice dog but we have three cats who wouldn’t like their lives being disrupted. Their potties are downstairs!
She stayed with us several months years ago when she first came here from Kentucky. She is a large girl, almost ate us out of house and home. Took long showers at 4 a.m, then took a dinner size plate of Don’s hash browns downstairs to eat before coming up for the day.
I don’t look forward to this again. Our house is full of stuff I’d have to move and the dog thing won’t go away. She wants to rent. Yeah, how much? Less than renting a house for sure.
Don doesn’t want to do it and neither do I. but we have to tell her.
This will get around to the relatives that we are terrible people but she’s the kind who latches onto people and inserts herself in their plans, etc. So maybe they won’t believe her too much.
I feel for her but really don’t want to get into this again. We are too old and tired and I can’t clean up at all right now due to my back. i had a bad fall and can't even bend over or sleep in bed.
So what do we say??

I would just tell her, I don't have an appartment in the basesment that I can rent. If I had one, I could rent..I might consider it.

Explain to her that you just don't have the room anymore and that you are having back problems.

Maybe some of the other relatives who would thing bad of you for not allowing her to crash at your place could take her in this time!

Good luck.

Barb

Oh my!
I'd just be upfront and honest with her.
Tell her that now is not the time for you to be taking in any sort of borders. Tell her you are sorry for her woes, but she'll have to find lodging/housing somewhere else.
I know it's hard to turn family/friends away when they are down on their luck, but sometimes you just have to put your foot down and say no. Don't beat yourself up for it. I know you will, because I would do the same thing. I'm a sucker too...have taken in tons of people who needed a place to stay because of hard times. Can't do it anymore. Too much stress on me and too much of a disruption to my life.

***ok, maybe a quilter or 2 staying for a while wouldn't be a bad thing. :) :) :)***

thanks. i'm 65 and my hubby is 84. we do well to take care of each other! I work full time, even with my back - but that will get better.
my hubby is a hoarder of sorts so our house really is a mess. he wont' throw away anything. you should see how i park in the garage-very carefully!

I believe in being honest! Just say "It wouldn't fit with our life style. But I can help you find an apartment". Why do we feel we must comply with weird requests to avoid hurting feelings, etc. Think of your own life first. That doesn't mean be selfish, but that is a huge thing to ask someone! If she has the nerve to ask, then you'll probably never get her out, you'll find reasons to leave your own home, and it's just not worth it!

Tell her you are sorry but, you don't have room for her and you are sure she wouldn't be happy with the living arrangement. I never have this problem as I live in a small place and have no basement. Some people have no problem putting others out, to make room for what they want for themselves. Let us know how this situation comes out. Good luck !!!

You have no reason to explain or be embarrased by your own home. It's YOUR home, and you can keep it anyway you want. It's grand that we are all different. I go into lots of people's homes with my Hospice work, and when they start to appologize, I remind them it's their home and they don't need to explain to anyone!

"no"

NO!
I understand I have had sisters and brothers stay with me and my stepmom who told me when I could go to bed and to put my dog in his cage when she is there. Well this last time when my stepmom wanted to stay I kindly said it just didn't work for me and she needed to make other arangements and I was nice about it. Yes there was a little drama and yep my siblings were mad at me for a while. But guess what they got over it and she found somewhere else to stay.