my MIL comes to my house 4 days a week to watch my 5 year old, she puts him on the bus at noon and has the whole after noon of quiet time with the tv .... she is 66 and gets paid $170 a week. I made plans for daycare and they decided this.. she likes to run the sweeper and dust, that is fine, she can do wash if she wants, sometimes she brings hers, that is fine, just don't go in my dresser, leave the sink drain where it belongs! in the sink, and don't touch my sewing machine and last one.... don't put my tomatoes in the fridge! that is all I ask.

Did you find them yet?

I've got to keep my eye on this I need to know the outcome!!!!

Can't you just TELL her to please not touch your fabrics or anything of yours that is even remotely connected to your sewing? If she gives you a hard time, just bop her over the head with a frying pan!! JOKING!!! Just checking to see if you're paying attention!! roflmbo!!
You seriously need to explain to her that it's YOUR house and she is not to touch your stuff!!!

I hope you find them. My MIL still refers to me as DH's first wife. I'm his only wife. :?

ha. frying pan? how bout a cast iron skillet? no i have not found them . I have to ask her now this morning about them!

Good Luck! ... a difficult conversation! :)

I can send you some if you can't find yours!

Have you asked her where she put them? My DH accidentally threw out a bag of fabric that I had been saving that belonged to my deceased DIL. I couldn't emotionally work with them as her scent was still in them and it was still too raw but new I would eventually get to a place where I could. Unfortunately the they were gone by the time I discovered they were missing. Hope you have better luck than I did. Needless to say he never touched anything in my sewing room again. Ann in TN

First of all- you said you have to keep quite until your the perfect wife----- raise your voice. You are!! Your married to the son not the MIL.

I have came to the conclusion that I will never be the perfect wife -- in the in-laws eyes, even if I have been married 22+ years.

Ask her if she took them to make you a special quilt as you have looked all over and can not find your crumbs.

sounds like an idea to me:)

Tough situation. Don't let your DH off the hook, this needs to be resolved as a family. Otherwise it will just be "mean old you" against a "poor old woman just trying to help". Good luck.

Love your avatar. Did you make it? It's great!

:D :D :D

Perhaps just a quick phone call, "How are you now that you are back home? Oh and by the way...." LOL

ROTFL

Can't wait to hear if they have been found :-)

Put a lock on your sewing room door. Next time she comes just tell her you're remodeling in there and it's unsafe to enter.

call her on the phone and ask her "if she saw them while she was so sweetly straightening out YOUR sewing area"...maybe she just added them to another project you had "laying around" (in her opinion)!!!! Hope you get a positive answer...let us know....

I bought my late mother a set of teflon pans in the 60's and she did the same thing. I usually describe my mother as a "Southern Baptist Edith Bunker."

I would be tickled to death! If the scraps were gone, I could quilt feeling guilty about them. froggyintexas

Before you get into a fight about scraps, etc., ask yourself whether any of this stuff makes an eternal difference. The fight might--losing a bunch of fabric crumbs doesn't. froggyintexas

OK, it's the morning...did you call her and find out where she put your crumb blocks?

I would put a lock on my sewing room door AND a "NO Trespassing" sign as well. Your DH needs to be with you on giving boundries to HIS mother.

I am so blessed that my dear MIL also quilts and knows it would be difficult to do so without hands, so she would never dream of invading my sewing room and throwing things away. Of course, I have come home to find the kitchen table AWOL because it fit the kitchen in their new home :roll:

my former MIL quilts so my sewing room was safe but the kitchen wasn't, Call your MIL and ask her what she done with the blocks for the quilt you were working on.This will gently let her know she messed up.And before her next visit install a lock and put a Do Not Enter sign on the door

Where do these people get off? First of all, I do not care who they are, they have no rights in my house, except as a guest.

I had an aunt who would visit me periodically and every time she would ask me, "When are you going to hang drapes?"

You may find my response rude, but it is no ruder than her question. My response was "Probably never."

Trust me, if I found someone going through my things or cleaning my house, they would be escorted to the door and I would thank them for coming. I would never take those liberties in their home when visiting.

if its your personal space put a lock on the door

Someone else cleaning up after me (even if they do it with love in their heart) is an invasion of privacy IMHO. I could send you more crumbs but that wouldn't take the feeling of being violated somehow away. I do hear ya, but have no advice to offer. I'll be watching this thread for ideas how to deal with it.

omg, that's terrible! I sure hope you are joking (because I have to admit, it made me LOL)!

its not about the crumbs, its not about even coming into your home and "helping", its about someone who is so controlling they feel they have the right and duty to run your home as THEY see fit. These are not "poor dears", these are iron women who need to be in charge. They may come off as sweet and helpless, or be as tough as nails. They will bully and charge or they can be very passive-agressive, either way, they run the show.
It's very hard to be a spouse (male or female) when there are inlaws like this. If your spouse is afraid of their parent, or think you must defer cus "they know better and are trying to help", seriously, stop the discussions (aka arguements) and key the door and you have the only key. Its your space. sharet

My husband of 31 years loves to introduce me as his "first wife." We are both still in our only marriage, so I fail to see the humor. But everyone else laughs.

My Sister in law, mother in law and I cleaned out a huge room filled with canned goods and other cooking stuff while the Grandmother and Aunt (they lived together in this house) were at the hair salon. My husband and father in law made three trips with black trash bags full to the local landfill (pick up truck) We found burst cans of food, peanut oil that was ten years old and smelled like it....we reorganized the entire area of good canned food and mounds of new kitchen towels and wash cloths. It looked great.....OH MY GOSH WHEN THEY GOT HOME. You would have thought we had thrown away the crown jewels...and the worst part, we had no idea that they kept their food seaparate!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, separate, even though they cooked and ate the same meals everyday TOGETHER. The Aunt had her food in paper bags and the Grandmother had hers in bags and stacked....who knew....They screamed and cried for hours. We left for TX the next morning...They didn't speak to us for several years. The Family still remembers that fiasco and jokes about it. To each his own.
I did learn, never help anyone unless they ask for it.

Sorry about your missing crums. I have had to chuckel on this whole thing, no it is not funny, but the thing that made it that way for me is: I have a very close friend my age that takes care of her mother (mother lives with daughter) the mother is always going through the daughters stuff, repacking to the way she wants it, even has thrown out things but when asked about it always says, I haven't seen it, I don't know. Then mother goes off to her room & pouts for who knows how long.... I feel for you.

Hope you find your crums. I hate it when someone else "straightens" my mess. I usually tell them," I know it is a mess, but I know where everything is in that mess, so please leave it alone."

I know EXACTLY how you feel!! My daughter called me yesterday and told me she completely reorganized my kitchen cupboards while we've been on our vacation to our other daughter for a month in Georgia. I wake up at night ppppppppdddddd. We get home Sunday and I may just committ harry karry. She's 44, not 4!!!! I do NOT understand why other people would touch our things in that way.
:thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown: :thumbdown:

You could quilt feeling guilty??? Why on earth would you quilt while feeling guilty? Bet it was a typo but it made me laugh although the thread is no laughing matter.

Ouch, I can really relate to your situation. Why was she cleaning your sewing room in the first place? I feel your pain. When my MIL came for a visit - she started cleaning my house the next day. I was totally ____________(fill in the blank) and furious that she thought my house was so filthy. Martha Stewart I'm not, however, when I have company coming I clean. My DH once decided to clean out the kitchen drawers while I was out - I came home to empty drawers and 3 paper grocery bags of stuff he thought didn't belong in the kitchen, including: gravy mix, dry soup mixes, and the list goes on. I had a similar problem with my son, when we had to move out of our house - there are some things I'll never recover, some of them expensive, but no respect for my stuff. It's a good thing I can't run fast, or even walk fast, or I'd be hot on their trail. lol. Some people just have a lot of nerve.

you are right. I've got quilt on the brain. Should have said, Quit feeling guilty about those scraps. I think what I'm going to do is take them to Goodwill right now and then I can feel righteous about being so generous! froggyintexas

Dying to know - did you call her yet? Have the missing crumbs surfaced? Do we have to post your bail???

MargeD and others, I think if my dh, MIL, etc invaded MY area like this I would say something like ... awww so nice of you, now I'm gonna clean out your workbench/man cave/ garage/ etc etc . Then DO IT and put all their stuff in big trash cans that they can now resort thru.

Ok guess I have a mean streak when I hear about stuff like this.

My DH respects my areas tho he does tease me by saying when I'm gone for the day that he will 'clean' something for me, but he won't. He just loves to tease me a couple times of year. But he said the sweetest thing to me last week, never said it before ... Hon you keep the house looking so nice.

I too would be so blustering angry it would be hard to ever talk to her again - good gosh!!! Maybe a do unto others as they do unto you is needed; what's her favorite thing? let it disappear! I'm not usually like this, but it burns me when things are moved when I'm the only one who ever uses it - so leave things alone!

Just wear your witch hat and maybe she'll stay away! :-)