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You may have seen this one before, I take no credit other then changing one word that some might take offense with. Enjoy! :lol: In all truthfulness, I can picture my DH doing this!
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt, and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends......it will be their Laugh for the day.. |
My BFF sent this one to me about a month ago...but it still is funny...
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Ditter you did it again! Thanks for the laugh! You are hilarious! :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Thanks Ditter, another great one! :-)
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Thank you for your making a day enjoyable!!!!!!!
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ROFLMAO!!!!
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too funny once again. keep em coming Ditter
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This is a common joke on a diet board I follow. Too funny!
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Originally Posted by Ditter43
You may have seen this one before, I take no credit other then changing one word that some might take offense with. Enjoy! :lol: In all truthfulness, I can picture my DH doing this!
Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt, and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends......it will be their Laugh for the day.. |
That is not offensive. It is funny as all getout!!!!!!!!!!!Yea Ditter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!
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