Quiltingboard Forums - Need a Laugh?

A NUN WAS SITTING AT THE AIRPORT,

WAITING FOR HER FLIGHT TO CHICAGO ..

SHE LOOKED OVER IN THE CORNER AND

SAW ONE OF THOSE WEIGHT MACHINES

THAT TELLS YOUR FORTUNE AND THOUGHT

TO HERSELF, 'I'LL GIVE IT A TRY

AND SEE WHAT IT TELLS ME.'

SHE WENT OVER TO THE MACHINE,

STEPPED UP ON THE SCALE AND PUT

HER NICKEL IN, OUT CAME A CARD THAT READ,

'YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS,

AND YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO .'

THE NUN SAT BACK DOWN. SHE TOLD

HERSELF THAT THE MACHINE PROBABLY

GIVES THE SAME CARD TO EVERYONE.

THE MORE SHE THOUGHT ABOUT IT THE MORE

CURIOUS SHE GOT SO SHE DECIDED

TO TRY IT AGAIN SHE WENT BACK

TO THE MACHINE AND AGAIN PUT

HER NICKEL IN, AND OUT CAME

A CARD THAT READ:

'YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS,

YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO AND

YOU ARE GOING TO PLAY A FIDDLE.'

THE NUN SAYS TO HERSELF,

'I KNOW THAT IS WRONG,

I HAVE NEVER PLAYED A MUSICAL

INSTRUMENT EVEN ONCE IN MY LIFE.'

SHE SAT BACK DOWN.

FROM OUT OF NOWHERE A COWBOY CAME OVER

AND SAT DOWN, PUTTING HIS FIDDLE CASE ON THE SEAT

BETWEEN THEN. WITHOUT THINKING,

SHE OPENED THE COWBOY'S CASE,

TOOK OUT THE FIDDLE, AND STARTED

PLAYING BEAUTIFUL MUSIC..
SURPRISED AT WHAT SHE HAD DONE,

SHE LOOKED OVER AT THE MACHINE, THINKING,

'THIS IS INCREDIBLE, I'VE GOT TO TRY THIS AGAIN.'

BACK TO THE MACHINE SHE WENT,

PUT IN ANOTHER NICKEL, AND ANOTHER

CARD CAME OUT. IT READ,

'YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS ,

YOU ARE GOING TO CHICAGO AND YOU

ARE GOING TO BREAK WIND.'

NOW SHE KNOWS THE MACHINE IS WRONG ,

AS SHE THOUGHT TO HERSELF,

'I'VE NEVER BROKEN WIND IN PUBLIC

A SINGLE TIME IN MY LIFE.'

BUT GETTING DOWN OFF THE MACHINE

SHE SLIPPED,AND AS SHE WAS STRAINING

TO KEEP HERSELF FROM FALLING TO

THE FLOOR, SHE BROKE WIND.

ABSOLUTELY STUNNED, SHE SAT BACK DOWN

AND LOOKED AT THE MACHINE.

SHE SAID TO HERSELF,

'THIS IS TRULY REMARKABLE. I'VE GOT TO TRY

THIS AGAIN.'SHE WENT BACK TO THE

MACHINE,PUT IN ANOTHER NICKEL

ANd ANOTHER CARD CAME OUT.

IT READ,

'YOU ARE A NUN, YOU WEIGH 128 LBS,

YOU HAVE FIDDLED AND FARTED AROUND

AND MISSED YOUR FLIGHT TO CHICAGO '.