Quiltingboard Forums - New Drugs for Women

Not sure of the manufacturer's gender....

DAMITOL Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to heck for up to 8 full hours.

ST. MOMMA'SWORT Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

EMPTYNESTROGEN Suuppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

PEPTOBIMBO Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence and prevents conception.

DUMEROL When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pick trucks.

FLICKITOR Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flick off other drivers.

MENICILLIN Potent and anit-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as. "You make me want to be a better person....can we get naked now?"

BUYAGRA Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember you birthday, anniversary, phone number or to lift the toilet seat.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used to anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT When admisistered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same level as nagging him.