Excerpts from a Dog's Diary.......


8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
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Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary....

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards..

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.


The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: So true!

Oh, thanks so much for the chuckle. That was very cute.

When did you get into my house and talk to my cat. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

O my gosh....LMBO...my sides hurt from this one....Thank you for the best laugh of my day. :D Gotta save this to pass on to friends of mine who have cats and dogs. Great one...how true how true. :D

I laughed till it hurt also.
Kola does the mouse thing quite often..lol

Which reminds me..We have a place set up on the front porch for her. It's a high shelf with her "cathouse", food and water dishes. With that said we have what we assume maybe several of her buddies coming by during the night to have a late supper. Because the food dish is always empty. Well one evening we heard a loud thump at the front door. So I went to go see what is was, and right there on the shelf was a dead body, the large male cat brought it to us. He thought we didn't have anything to eat cause the food bowl was empty.

:lol: :lol: :lol: that is to funny. thank you. Penny

This is why my cats live in the barn/on the porch. Only dogs live in the house!

FUNNY!!! ;-)

True!