I agree with you, sort of. I am not a stuffie lover, although I know many are and kids do love something soft to hang onto. I think all the candles, flowers, and stuffies at a site of tragedy goes back to our need to do something tangible
to express our grief. If a someone dies on the street in a particularly sad way we want to be able to express to the survivors that we are touched by their pain. Since we would not ordinarily ever meet or speak to them we leave something concrete to symbolize our sympathy. Hence, cards, flowers, candles, stuffies. We hope if the family sees a large display they will be comforted to know that their community shares the sadness of loss, or a survivor will see a common outreach for their recovery. It also I believe comforts the community members to come together in some sort of way to share the bewilderment and dismay that such a thing could happen. Like when there was the shooting in Arizona and the little girl and others died and so many were wounded. I felt a deep grief that we had such a world where things like that happen over and over, again it happened in Norway just a few weeks ago.
I guess it is the same rational that we use to leave flowers at a loved ones grave....we are hoping somehow our grief will be comforted at the thought that on some level somewhere the lost one will know and understand. I am not trying to belittle anyones need to reach out or their belief system just trying to understand the impulse. I guess giving a donation to the food bank in their name would not have the same communal healing effect.

Thank you for that website! I'm forwarding THAT to my friends.

I agree with you, sort of. I am not a stuffie lover, although I know many are and kids do love something soft to hang onto. I think all the candles, flowers, and stuffies at a site of tragedy goes back to our need to do something tangible
to express our grief. If a someone dies on the street in a particularly sad way we want to be able to express to the survivors that we are touched by their pain. Since we would not ordinarily ever meet or speak to them we leave something concrete to symbolize our sympathy. Hence, cards, flowers, candles, stuffies. We hope if the family sees a large display they will be comforted to know that their community shares the sadness of loss, or a survivor will see a common outreach for their recovery. It also I believe comforts the community members to come together in some sort of way to share the bewilderment and dismay that such a thing could happen. Like when there was the shooting in Arizona and the little girl and others died and so many were wounded. I felt a deep grief that we had such a world where things like that happen over and over, again it happened in Norway just a few weeks ago.
I guess it is the same rational that we use to leave flowers at a loved ones grave....we are hoping somehow our grief will be comforted at the thought that on some level somewhere the lost one will know and understand. I am not trying to belittle anyones need to reach out or their belief system just trying to understand the impulse. I guess giving a donation to the food bank in their name would not have the same communal healing effect.[/quote]


What a BEAUTIFUL way of expressing this! THANK YOU!

I would rather buy the items needed and give them. Rather than handing someone a 20 dollar bill. Because usually it will go for booze, smokes or drugs rather than food or necessary things.

I give $$ to my local pregnancy crisis center and a few other Christian organizations where I know the money is used wisely but most $$ go thru my church. Our church is really good at helping members in need as well as those in our immediate community.

a few years ago, my mom & I stopped at LONG JOHN SILVERS for lunch. There was a woman begging-"starving to death" MOM offered to go back in & buy her a whole meal. She refused, BUT asked what it would cost. We could JUST GIVE HER THE $$$$.I think not!Several weeks later same woman, same story, same general location. I told her how, IF you was hungry, she would've taken the food. That it was apparent what she really wanted was $$$$ for booze or alchol. Not giving up my $$$ for someone else's bad habit. When you give a quilt or a bag of food, at least you know where your $$$ went.Many fund raisers, only a portion actually goes where you thought! The local FOP, calls & raises$$$- didn't know until my husband was laidoff, that the calls were made by a HIRED bank of telephone solicitors& they hired ANYONE to be runners to go p/u the donations(husband got hired as a runner) Thought we were dealing w/cops--but -no - just anyone off the street, no background check. Its things like these make people leary of just handing out money!--There are ALOT OF LIGIT CHARTIES out there, that most of the $$$ does go where you intended!

Do we have time and the resources, but not necessarily the $$?
While $$ is necessary, when i see a handmade item, I know someone thought about it, put their resources into it, and gave of themselves. that is my preference.

Well, I think it must make someone feel closure to do it. How about thousands of dollars for a casket that will rot underground or a huge marble statue to mark that grave. We don't begrudge people that. How about hundreds (if not thousands) girls spend for wedding dresses that will be worn once? We help celebrate their joy. So ease up on the teddy bears. You have no idea whether those same people gave a chunk of change to anyone else, nor is it any of our beeswax.

ditto..

I have donated a lot of things and money in my life and always wondered if the money really made it to the cause I supported. Oh well, I just leave it in Gods hands.

ditto

ditto

me too

I would agree with those who are concerned that money doesn't really get to the needs - or enough of it. I understand there are costs in getting supplies to victims, but there are crooks in so many of these things. I have considered trying to find an address of some random person in a disaster area and sending my money to them directly with a note asking them to use it for themselves or others in need that they know. Couldn't figure out who had a house standing when I first though of it during Katrina...the thought came back during the floods this year too.

I could not agree more with the following post. We should give to help the recipient not to make us feel good. It should not be about me, but the person in need.

I think this thread really gets to the heart of the whole charity/gift giving thing - is it about the giver or the recipient? I remember after Katrina, people wanted to send food, blankets, clothes, whatever, and the agencies involved just needed cash.
Someone else said in another thread, it takes a lot of work and manhours to sort non-cash donations and get them to the right people. In a giant disaster that is impractical.

Now on a smaller scale, if someone local lost their home, or whatever, a handmade quilt would be a nice donation, once they are set up in a new place.

"I think some times the giver wants to give for their own reasons and does not think of the recipient. Like when the Marines or Sal. Army collects toys at Christmas, they ask for new toys. You always hear some (Grinch) asking, Well why can't I donate my kids' used toys?


edited to add - I get what people are saying about sending money and you don't know where it goes. CharityNavigator website is very good for finding out this info. And NEVER give to anyone who calls you on the phone. Only give to charities you are very familiar with."

(I did not know how to get what I copied to show as being copied/quoted.)

I'm with you, I am not a prolific enough quilter to keep up with giving quilts away.
When we make a donation in the even of a disaster we usually research who gives the most to the charity, the info is required and available online. For an international disaster I usually like to donate to Doctors Without Borders. I appreciate that the folks who truly deliver the care are volunteers.

That is kind of unfair to assume that all of those in need or who are homeless are drug addicts or alchoholics. Volunteer at a homeless shelter in your area. I say there but for the grace of God....

In the world today, we have to make food drops several times in starving areas to make sure more than just the black marketeers get some. I won't donate cash ever again after Katrina. I gave to the Red Cross, only to see them spend the next couple years building brand new fancy offices all over this country! Once burned, twice shy!

Making quilts is therapy for me. Every aspect of the quilting process is somehow soothing for me. I am able to think, concentrate and put lots of love into what I am making. I can give money and not get the same satisfaction out of it. My money may not reached the intended and maybe my quilt won't either but eventually someone will benefit from it. They will use something that made me feel good about making.

I agree. When you find out that the money doesn't reach people but pays for "executive" costs- it really urks you. I have told the humane society-use the money I send but don't send me calenders/tshirts!!that is not what I donate the money for. Sometimes I think I should just order dog or cat food and send it instead. :|

Our local TV station did an undercover story on this. They followed the "will work for food" people only to see them meet others and put their money together, which was used to buy whiskey.
I buy a "to go" plate of food and take it back to them.

Ditto!! our favorite charity. DH especially likes how they use Plumpy Nut (peanut butter based) to nourish kids with malnutrition. He is a big PB fan!!

Your local shelter would welcome pet food, I bet,. Also ask the local food shelf - sometimes they have a program in conjunction with the shelter, to get pet food to low income folks so they don't have to give up their pets.

I give money to organizations I trust. I limit it to communities and countries that can be trusted. I give blankets and other crafty items to loved ones. Personal preference. Military folks are the exception. That's answering specific requests. Different situation.

But, yes, I have seen a number of negative commentaries over the years about people who give crafts in the wake of natural disasters. It's perceived as selfish, impractical and even delusional. Like the obsession can't be broken long enough to realize a starving kid thousands of miles away doesn't need an oven mit. People can be harsh but I don't think it should hinder anyone's donations (whatever they may be).

Please yourself. Opinions are just words.

i think we think quilt because it comes from our hearts and hands. i rarely have $20 in my pocket, but i have a stash of fabric and batting that i am willing to use. all my old towels, sheets and blankets go to the shelters. any food my animals won't eat but i've bought in bulk goes to them as well. anything i can do, i do.

:thumbup: That is true,my DD & her husband does foster care & have adopted a boy. The stories she tells of little children is sad. Some have nothing, it makes you think. Think about giving too these homes!

I work in a homeless shelter and can see both sides so you aren't getting tarred and feathered. Many times we see money used for things WE wouldn't buy but I learned that when you give something, you relenquish control over it, otherwise it isn't actually a gift. Sorry to say I don't always do that but I feel better when I do give it from my heart.

I worked for a non profit for 19 years- and administrative cost was about 12% of our income. When a non profit ask for money - ask these questions:

What % of the income goes to administrative cost if they can't answer then keep your money. Some have as high as 48% administrative cost.

Is a copy of the annual report available

Do you have the proper solicitation permit for that community.

While the topic presents itself. The issue of money not going where it should. Samaratins purse actually gives a break out of where the funds go and records are public. They do what they say.
Can't say that for many organizations. Try even your boyscouts and girlscouts. they get a very very small percent of the cokies and popcorn sold. It goes to their headquaters. How do I know? We work with nonprofits and have done keetle korn as fund raisers for them. we offered 50/50 and they would shake their heads saying can't be what's the catch. That's when we began finding out how little your son's and daughters actually get on the fund raisers they peddle

http://www.afrtrust.org/Coast-Guarg-...Assistance.pdf

there are many legitimate relief trusts for returning military personnel who need cash for relearning a trade, supporting their families and paying their rent. while they were away taking care of you their lives were turned upside down. i don't feel that a quilt will help them. they need services that money pays for. the money doesn't come from the government. it has to come from you.

the pie chart above is an example of what you can find for any branch of the military, or any other charity that you like. just google funding pie chart.

if you want to make sure the help goes where it should, fill a sack with groceries and leave it on a doorstep. it doesn't take long to spend $20, $50 or more for basic pantry items and they really help a family free up money for other necessities.

it's very easy to do what you like to do anyway and call it charity whether it's what's most needed or not, imo

i go with Bear.