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-   -   Simple but Brilliant and full of truths! Enjoy! (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/simple-but-brilliant-full-truths-enjoy-t78445.html)

Ditter43 11-24-2010 08:25 AM

Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash with his best friend, Wylie Post, was probably the greatest political sage this country ever has known.


1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.


2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.


3.. There are two theories to arguing with a woman . . . Neither works.


4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.


5. Always drink upstream from the herd.


6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.



7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket



8. There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.


9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.


10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.


11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.


12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.




ABOUT GROWING OLDER...




First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.


Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.


Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.


Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.


Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.


Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top


Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.


Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.


Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.


Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.


And, finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

Melinda in Tulsa 11-24-2010 08:39 AM

These are SO True!!!! I love it, thank you Ditter.

ssgramma 11-24-2010 08:46 AM

Excellent advice! Thanks for the smiles ;-)

Murphy 11-24-2010 08:49 AM

ROFL. You are so good at making a happy day. Happy Thanksgiving.

Luckynumber7 11-24-2010 09:48 AM

Love 'em! Thank you Ditter!

ptquilts 11-24-2010 11:28 AM

getting old is comfortable?? Tell that to my knees!!

TN Donna 11-24-2010 11:31 AM

So true. I like the being old is comfortable.

mollymct 11-24-2010 01:45 PM

That's a great one, Ditter!

CarrieAnne 11-24-2010 02:03 PM

Great advice

Jan in VA 11-24-2010 04:57 PM


Originally Posted by ptquilts
getting old is comfortable?? Tell that to my knees!!

Oh, I agree; but think of how nice it is not not have to wear high heels any more. Or that we can wear elastic waist pants and everybody thinks that's okay. Or that our kids put the memory foam mattress topper on the guest room bed for us. Or that if I feel like it, just because I have gray hair and a bit of a limp, I can get some bagger cutie at the grocery to carry the Cokes, cat food bag, and water bottles out to the car. Or that with a bit of doctor help you can get a Handicap sticker and park closer to the store. Or that if you’re the oldest one at Thanksgiving dinner, you can sit back and let the young’uns clean up!

Jan in VA


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