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Originally Posted by ptquilts
(Post 6243358)
I find it offensive also when people use any occasion (wedding, baby shower, birthday) as a money grab. . . Unfortunately I fear it is the wave of the future. Along with no thank you notes, because, why should they thank you, you are SUPPOSED to shower goodies on them.
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My rule is this ... if I've never been invited to any event that does not require a gift, I give no gift for other events. They might get a card.
I hate, hate, hate for people to send wedding invitations, graduation announcements, etc. to people they barely know. To me it's just a solicitation for money. |
I would just skip the whole thing. No gift is necessary and none should be expected. If you have to pay money to continue a good relationship with your neighbor then it isn't a good relationship to begin with. If you ***WANT*** to give them something, then give what you want to give.
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Asking for money is just plain crass. Asking for no gifts, is the only exception I would have for printing gift requests on the invitation. In this case I agree with the statement that a small cash gift would make for neighborhood harmony.
I remember my mother being horrified at receiving a thank you note (at least she received one) stating that her cash gift would buy some nice dinners for their honeymoon. My mother insists that gifts, even of cash, are for something enduring that will remind the couple of the sender. And she would probably deduct something for the baby on the way, since they obviously didn't wait for the wedding to have the honeymoon. |
If it is someone I don't know well (friend of another family member for instance) I will usually get a gift card for somewhere i know they are likely to shop or go out to eat.
If they are saving $ to buy a house I'm proud for them and might be inclined to be a bit more generous if I felt they were truly serious about it. This is a goal worthy of encouraging. |
We just faced a similar situation with my husband's work. We were invited to the wedding and reception and didn't plan to attend either. We barely knew these people and RSVP'ed we would not be attending. My husband was all for not doing anything. I asked him, " will you be embarrassed to face them at the water cooler?" His answer was "kind of", so we picked up a card and put $50 in it.
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If you are planning to attend the reception, give them the amount of money you were planning to spend on the gift. If you are not planning on going, a gift is not necessary. I read that just recently in the newspaper.
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My evil twin would want to send them a poem in return --
We love to go to weddings! Buying presents is such fun. But asking for cash instead of gifts -- My dear! It's just not done! |
wow they must be inviting lots and lots of people if they expect to be able to purchase a house with monetary gifts. you are under no obligation to give more than you would have spent on a gift. so don't fret. Young people do things differently these days....
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It would be tempting to give a check that would be cashable five years from the wedding date!
With both names on it! It would be void if they were no longer together then. |
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