My Mom and Dad are 82 and 86. I help them a lot. They have always been so independent I don't think either one of them could be talked into leaving their home. I am thankful I only live 5 miles away so that makes my situation so much easier. I know right now my parents are having a really hard time accepting help but we are working on it slowly. I have one brother and he also lives close within a few miles. This is a hard subject for all comcerned and I will be praying for the best results in your case.

It is hard. I lived with my mil for 2 years and she just went to live with her daughter, because the daughter is doing the in-home care for her. I love the old lady, but, she is very hard to live with. You couldn't do anything without her throwing a fit about it. It's too much stress on both parties, i hope when I get that age, I don't have any problem going into an assisted living. Considering they get out and do things and you are around your own age of new friends, I think it will be a good thing.

After the upteenth call from the paramedics and Life Alert, my sister and I "brow beat/convinced/cajoled" Mom into accepting a move to an assisted living residence. Being obstinate as her daughters, she moved reluctantly and groused about it. Nothing loud and unseemly, but she muttered about the unfairness of it all.

That was a year ago. Recently, she mentioned moving to a smaller apartment and during that discussion I offered to help her find a regular (non-assisted) apartment or condo if she wanted to save even more money and have the little garden she was craving. I pointed out that she could do her own cooking, her own cleaning ... everything she said she would miss when we first insisted that she move. I also noted that she would be completely alone even if I could visit now and again. She looked at me oddly and then said, "You know, I didn't really miss the cooking and cleaning as much as I thought I would. And I really like the security of having the staff on call 24 hours a day and all my friends are here. No, I think I'll stay here."

There was no more discussion of moving and there have been far, FAR fewer calls for the paramedics. I can sleep at night knowing that she is being watched over. Whatever you end up doing for your mom, try and balance what's best for her with what's best for you (and your husband.) Be totally realistic with yourself about what you can and cannot do for her if she lives with you. It'll pay off in the long run for both of you. Good luck!

Sue K.

P.S. Mom now seems to actually enjoy trying to teach the residence's chef how to cook. She's convinced that since they share the same family name that they are related and he should be cooking all of the family favorites. His cooking is somehow supposed to reflect on the family. I'm not certain he shares her point of view.

I will keep you in my prayers. This is not an easy conversation, my MIL was living by herself until about 4 years ago when we moved her into the house of my sister in law.

Just got back. Everything went well. My sil had their doctor call them and helped them get someone to come in twice a week for 3 hours a day to help out. We also talked about assisted living as a possibility at some point and they have started clearing out unwanted items from their house. They seemed very with it. We had a very nice visit and helped them with many projects. We plan to go down to their home every few weeks.
Thank you all for your prayers and advice :-D

Sending hugs. My mother recently moved to an Assisted Living facility. As others have said, nothing about this is easy. My prayers are with you!

I am so glad it went well. Its nice that you can move slow, in stages. It seems to work with my parents. Too much change all at once can be stressful.

Take Care....