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Thread: Raising Grandchildren

  1. #1
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    It seems that there are many grandparents that have full responsibility for raising their grandchildren. Or more than the "grandbaby comes to visit - how cute - go home with parents in a couple of hours" situation.

    How did this come about? How are you dealing with it?

  2. #2
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    3 of my grands spent a lot of time with me... The older two are twins and they were a handfull for DD after they started walking LOL I loved having them come up to stay for 4 or 5 days at a time. Sometimes twice a month, sometimes longer when my DD had to go to work. Daycare is so expensive... I would also go to her house and watch them there at times. I also get them when they are sick, they can't go to daycare and I usually don't catch virus's.
    To me it is not a problem, I love having them around!!!

  3. #3
    Power Poster nativetexan's Avatar
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    I'm not sure i could stand it. children seem to need entertaining constantly these days. I don't have the energy!! what happened to them entertaining themselves and enlarging their own imagination in the process?
    mine live in Texas, 1,000 miles from me. so I don't have to do that so far. :)

  4. #4
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    My grands entertain themselves pretty well and we do a lot of activities together like cooking and baking. The older ones are 6 and they are going to get their first experience on a sewing machine when they come up for a week after Christmas :D:D:D
    My DD and I agree that whenever possible it is better that they are with me rather than at a daycare :wink:

  5. #5
    Super Member Lneal's Avatar
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    I have two little grands who live with us, along with their mother who went thru an unfortunate divorce. Having no where else to go, now they occupy our home. Tho it does get hectic and a little crazy I remind myself how blessed I am to have these beautiful children jumping on my bed in the morning with lots of kisses and hugs all day long! Actually you find yourself adapting fairly well. Someday it will not be like this I'm sure.

  6. #6
    Senior Member QuiltMania's Avatar
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    I thank God every day for my parents. When our 1st son was born, my mother said, "There is no way that boy is going to day care. You bring him right here!" My mom and dad have watched my kids from day one. They pick them up from school every day. My mom taught my kids so much while I was at work that they entered school way above grade level. My mom helps them with their homework every day.

    Without my parent's help, there would be no way that both DH and I would have been able to work. The day care costs would have been more than DH makes. I hope that you grandparents who are helping with your grandchildren know how truly "grand" you are.

  7. #7
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    We've been raising our granddaughter for almost 11 years. It wasn't what we planned to do in our retirement, but she certainly didn't deserve the parents she got.

  8. #8
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    I raised my first grandchild until she was school age. Then my daughter finally got her life straightened out, married a responsible young man and they regained custody of her daughter. Up to that point I went to court for (GD) custody so the her father could not take her. He offered no support or wanted to do anything for her. When she left at age five I was heart sick as we had her since birth. Ironically when she was born I worked delivery room at the hospital and they handed her to me first. She is now 26yrs old and has a child of her own. She has never met her biological father and considers her adopted father the only one. My other grandchildren I did help with such as putting them on the school bus and retreiving them at night until they were older. I am fortunate that they all live very close. But now the youngest is 18 yrs. marge

  9. #9
    Super Member Shemjo's Avatar
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    I think it is wonderful when parents can help out with their kid's kids. I do also think it was easier when families lived closer together.

  10. #10
    Super Member azdesertrat's Avatar
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    My parents are raising their grand daughter as their own and have officially adopted her,they have had her since hse was 3 mons old and she is now 13,and my 17 yr old nephew is living with them also,he doesn't like his mothers' husband,or his step siblings.My dad does fine iwth it My mom has more of a problem,she didn't expect to spend her golden years raising more kids.There is an organization here in town specifically geared to grandparents raising grandkids

  11. #11
    Super Member redquilter's Avatar
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    On the night my first grandchild was born, my SIL decided he didn't want to be married anymore, nor did he want to be a father - so he left her high and dry in the hospital after having a c-section! She lived about 1 hr from me and after a few months of me paying her rent and travelling back and forth, she went back to work and got a place near me. She's a teacher and when she returned to work, my grandson stayed with me. Fortunately, I run our family business from home, so I was able to work and watch him at the same time. Although there were (and still are) many a night when I'm burning the midnight oil to get paperwork done so I can go to school functions with him. He comes here most days after school and I do homework with him, take him to Karate, for haircuts, to chess lessons, etc. etc. She works on Sat. also, so he's with me. To be honest, it wears me out sometimes, but I love the closeness we have. I do wish I had more "me" time, but this is the way it is and when he looks at me and puts his arms around my neck and says "I love you Nana", my heart melts and I'm so grateful to have him. My younger daughter lives nearly 3 hrs. away and I don't get to see her 2 yr old son often and I find that so strange since I'm with the older boy so much. You know what they say - "when life hands you scraps - make quilts"! In my neighborhood, I see so many grandparents taking kids to school, pushing them in the stroller, at the park, etc. It's the way things are these days.

  12. #12
    Power Poster Ninnie's Avatar
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    I was raised by my grandparents, and I was blessed to have them. We kept our first grandson everyday until he started school. i wouldn't have missed it for the world! We owned our own store, and raised him in it. He took his first steps there. It takes both parents working these days to make ends meet. I think kids are better when they have the grandparents in their lives.

  13. #13
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    I think that we are one of the few countries that grandparents/families aren't the primary babysitters. In talking to people that I have worked with, the older family always were caring for the little ones...it was a true "village raising the children"

  14. #14
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    My daughter and her boyfriend had lived together for six years when she got pregnant. When my DGD was 11 months he decided he didn't want to be a full time dad anymore. Dear daughter asked if she could move in with me til she got on her feet. I supported her while she went back to school and found a new and better career. It was hard for a while. I didn't have the me time anymore and my house was turned upside down to find room for them. Long story short my DGD is six now and I can't imagine life without her here. She is my quilting buddy and loves going to the fabric store more than I do.

  15. #15
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    18 years ago my grand daughter was diagnosed with brain tumors and needed care and I took her in as both her parents had to work to pay for her needed care and trips to NYC for specialized care but the parents took her home every chance they could and on weekends. After several surgeries Drs. said she wouldn't get past a 3rd grade mentality. She is still our little girl and how she loves her grandfather (I come with the package). Where is she now? Although she is now in College she still has 2 unoperable brain tumors (non malignant) and we thank God every day. We never thought we would be taking care of little ones in our retirement and we would do it any day.

  16. #16
    Super Member lfw045's Avatar
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    It is a precious thing for grandparents to step up to the plate and care for their grandchildren.

  17. #17
    community benefactor Knot Sew's Avatar
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    My daughters second husband did not want to support her first two boys....so they have been with me ...Damon is 21 Mason is 16...now my son is here and he brought a boy 13 and a girl 17....my favorite job is doing for a family that includes kids

  18. #18
    Super Member Minda's Avatar
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    When my daughter started working, she asked me if I wanted to babysit my grands or if she should put them in daycare. I absolutely wanted to watch them. They offered to pay me, but I refused. I think it's sad that many grandparents feel it's a burden to help with grandchildren. IMO families were much closer when there was more interaction between the generations. (I'm not being judgemental. Many grandparents also work full-time jobs and don't have the opportunity to spend as much time as they would like with their grands.)

  19. #19
    GMA
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    our first grandaughter came early and we were a big part of her family and were for almost 3 yrs. She is 16 now and we never have regreted anything we gave up to help this wonderful young lady be the person she is today.

  20. #20
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    Up until a few months ago, I had been caring for my grandson since he was about 6 weeks old. The days varied from week to week but it was anywhere from 1-3 1/2 days a week, 24/7. It really started taking a tole on me by the time he could get around faster than I could. My daughter is pregnant again but I told her that I can't do this any longer. It's going to hurt so much to know she's handing that baby and my grandson to someone else to watch but I have severe arthritis and it's just too hard on me. I wish I had the stamina to take them both on but I'm supposed to be retired and I do want to have time for myself.

  21. #21
    Super Member Deb watkins's Avatar
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    My 25 year old moved back home in July, no job, and has two boys. My mom(76)and I are raising the 6 year old, the 3 year old does split his time between the dad (who is great with him) my mom, and here with me and his mom. I love the boys, but it is taking a toll with my own (2nd) marriage (first husband was abusive). My husband told me tonight that he is very unhappy with this situation and will probably be leaving by the first of the year. He said that he married me, not my family (?).

  22. #22
    Junior Member G-Maw Wilda's Avatar
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    My DH and I are helping to raise our grandchildren. Our daughter died when her children were 10 and 7, we had been taking caring of her and the children 2 years before she died. After she died the children went to live with their dad and his girlfriend, this was in 2003. They still came to visit us alot, they just lived about 3 miles away. Then in March 2004, a new baby sister was born. She became our grandbaby too. Then in March 2007, her mother just ups and decides that she wants to go back to an old boyfriend in another state. She leaves her little girl with her daddy. The kids dad is a trucker and is just home on the weekend. So we have been taking care of all three kids since then. They are 17, 14, and 5 3/4 now, we have them all week and dad has them the weekend. But I wouldn't change it.

  23. #23
    Super Member Deb watkins's Avatar
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    Sometimes it is hard to understand why we are given these situations. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that if it is Given Unto Us, we will also be Given the Means to Get Through it. I know that when one door closes, another one opens, but sometimes the screen is forgotten to be taken out and we get stuck. It is raining/sleeting here today, and I can only think that the Angels are as sad as I am and are crying along with me. As water washes the body, so tears cleanse the spirit!

  24. #24
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    Awww Deb (((HUGS))) I am so sorry that DH feels that way... it must be torture for you!!! (((HUGS)))

  25. #25
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    Deb W. - Sorry things are so hard for you right now - - -

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