speeding ticket plus

Old 02-11-2013, 04:51 PM
  #1  
Junior Member
Thread Starter
 
JudyMN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Roseville, Minnesota
Posts: 294
Default speeding ticket plus

A police officer pulls over a speeding car.

The officer says, ' I clocked you at 110 mph, sir.'

The driver says, 'Christ, officer I had it on cruise control at 70, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.'

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'
The wife smiles demurely and says, ! 'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, dammit woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic £40 fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket'

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'why don’t you keep your chuffin mouth shut !!

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'


I love this part... :




'Only when he's had a few drinks.'
JudyMN is offline  
Old 02-11-2013, 05:07 PM
  #2  
Super Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Piedmont Virginia in the Foothills of the Blue Ridge Mtns.
Posts: 8,562
Default

Good one!!
Jan in VA is offline  
Old 02-12-2013, 09:17 AM
  #3  
Super Member
 
donnalynett's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,326
Default

Oh how funny!
donnalynett is offline  
Old 02-13-2013, 05:20 AM
  #4  
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Normal, IL
Posts: 563
Default

Out of the mouths of wives. Too funny.
nancyw is offline  
Old 02-13-2013, 11:44 AM
  #5  
Super Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Southeast Georgia
Posts: 2,526
Default

Bwahahahaha!
MimiBug123 is offline  
Old 02-13-2013, 03:33 PM
  #6  
Super Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Homosassa, FL
Posts: 2,267
Default

Good one, He he he!
Carol34446 is offline  
Old 02-13-2013, 04:26 PM
  #7  
Super Member
 
caspharm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Nevada
Posts: 6,958
Default

Very funny! LOL!
caspharm is offline  
Old 03-02-2013, 07:07 PM
  #8  
Super Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: SW Minnesota
Posts: 1,590
Default

I've read this one several times before, but still LOL each time I see it! Thanks for sharing!
jojo47 is offline  
Old 03-02-2013, 10:11 PM
  #9  
Senior Member
 
booklady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Central Arkansas
Posts: 914
Default

That' a laugh out loud good one.
booklady is offline  
Old 03-02-2013, 11:01 PM
  #10  
Super Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Myrtle Beach, SC
Posts: 8,087
Default

Cracked me up! Thanks.
cathyvv is offline  
Related Topics
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
NanaCsews2
Main
12
05-01-2011 04:05 PM
Ditter43
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
64
12-20-2010 04:15 PM
butterflywing
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
18
08-08-2010 08:31 AM
chrissa
General Chit-Chat (non-quilting talk)
24
06-30-2009 05:39 PM

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


FREE Quilting Newsletter