Too Funny
12-12-2011, 02:54 PM
#1
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Bosque County, Texas
Posts: 2,709
Too Funny
WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REGULAR JOBS <O:P></O:P>
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1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copylize me."
<O:P></O:P>
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.."
<O:P></O:P>
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
<O:P></O:P>
4. Torrin Polk, <ST1:PLACE w:st="on"><ST1:PLACETYPE w:st="on">University</ST1:PLACETYPE> of <ST1:PLACENAME w:st="on">Houston</ST1:PLACENAME></ST1:PLACE> receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings.."
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5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
<O:P></O:P>
6. Senior basketball player at the <ST1:PLACE w:st="on"><ST1:PLACETYPE w:st="on">University</ST1:PLACETYPE> of <ST1:PLACENAME w:st="on">Pittsburgh</ST1:PLACENAME></ST1:PLACE> : "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.."
(Now that is beautiful)
<O:P></O:P>
7. Bill Peterson, a <ST1:PLACE w:st="on"><ST1:PLACENAME w:st="on">Florida</ST1:PLACENAME> <ST1:PLACETYPE w:st="on">State</ST1:PLACETYPE></ST1:PLACE> football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height.." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle." <O:P></O:P>
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8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not <ST1:PLACE w:st="on">Princeton</ST1:PLACE> .."
<O:P></O:P>
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
<O:P></O:P>
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."
<O:P></O:P>
11. <ST1:PLACE w:st="on"><ST1:CITY w:st="on">Chuck Nevitt</ST1:CITY> , <ST1:STATE w:st="on">North Carolina</ST1:STATE></ST1:PLACE> State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt. (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
<O:P></O:P>
12. <ST1:PLACE w:st="on"><ST1:CITY w:st="on">Frank Layden</ST1:CITY> , <ST1:STATE w:st="on">Utah</ST1:STATE></ST1:PLACE> Jazz president, on a former player: "I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
<O:P></O:P>
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
<O:P></O:P>
14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford: "I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."
<O:P></O:P>
15. Former <ST1:PLACE w:st="on"><ST1:CITY w:st="on">Houston</ST1:CITY></ST1:PLACE> Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she's too ugly to kiss good-bye."<O:P></O:P>
<O:P></O:P>
<O:P></O:P>
<O:P></O:P>
<O:P></O:P>
1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copylize me."
<O:P></O:P>
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.."
<O:P></O:P>
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skin's say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
<O:P></O:P>
4. Torrin Polk, <ST1:PLACE w:st="on"><ST1:PLACETYPE w:st="on">University</ST1:PLACETYPE> of <ST1:PLACENAME w:st="on">Houston</ST1:PLACENAME></ST1:PLACE> receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treat us like mens. He let us wear earrings.."
<O:P></O:P>
5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
<O:P></O:P>
6. Senior basketball player at the <ST1:PLACE w:st="on"><ST1:PLACETYPE w:st="on">University</ST1:PLACETYPE> of <ST1:PLACENAME w:st="on">Pittsburgh</ST1:PLACENAME></ST1:PLACE> : "I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.."
(Now that is beautiful)
<O:P></O:P>
7. Bill Peterson, a <ST1:PLACE w:st="on"><ST1:PLACENAME w:st="on">Florida</ST1:PLACENAME> <ST1:PLACETYPE w:st="on">State</ST1:PLACETYPE></ST1:PLACE> football coach: "You guys line up alphabetically by height.." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three, and then line up in a circle." <O:P></O:P>
<O:P></O:P>
8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not <ST1:PLACE w:st="on">Princeton</ST1:PLACE> .."
<O:P></O:P>
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
<O:P></O:P>
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."
<O:P></O:P>
11. <ST1:PLACE w:st="on"><ST1:CITY w:st="on">Chuck Nevitt</ST1:CITY> , <ST1:STATE w:st="on">North Carolina</ST1:STATE></ST1:PLACE> State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt. (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
<O:P></O:P>
12. <ST1:PLACE w:st="on"><ST1:CITY w:st="on">Frank Layden</ST1:CITY> , <ST1:STATE w:st="on">Utah</ST1:STATE></ST1:PLACE> Jazz president, on a former player: "I asked him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
<O:P></O:P>
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject."
<O:P></O:P>
14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford: "I can go to my left or right, I am amphibious."
<O:P></O:P>
15. Former <ST1:PLACE w:st="on"><ST1:CITY w:st="on">Houston</ST1:CITY></ST1:PLACE> Oilers coach Bum Phillips when asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded: "Because she's too ugly to kiss good-bye."<O:P></O:P>
<O:P></O:P>
12-12-2011, 04:53 PM
#5
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,229
I always have to shake my head when I hear the players explain what happened in the BASSABALL game they just played. I can't understand even half of what they say! These are funny... or tragic. Can't quite decide. LOL! I'll have to remember that IQ hitting room temperature in January comment.
12-12-2011, 06:49 PM
#7
Super Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Grants Pass, OR
Posts: 2,071
Originally Posted by Nanamoms
These are funny but also sad!! Our kids just aren't getting a good education at all!! Schools are too busy being politically correct to teach reading, writing and math!!
Being politically correct is only showing courtesy to all regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, or religious affiliation.
Here in my town you have people angry and near violent when their children are tested and come up short regardless of the reason for the shortcoming. Then, blame it on someone or something else. The "dittohead" mentality is alive and well in east Texas.
If you want a quality education for your child, get them one. Teach them to be responsible and to listen to the teacher instead of mouthing off. Send them to school fed and in proper attire for learning. Forgo the fancy clothes and expensive sneakers. Send them to school clean. Send them to school on time.
Teach them to respect their teachers.
Volunteer at your local school. Be a physical presence. Attend school board meetings.
Most of all, show respect for the teachers yourself. To say that schools are too busy being politically correct to teach is disrespectful. But mostly, totally untrue. After all, if you can read this, thank a teacher.
As someone who has worked with and for the school system in Texas for over 40 years, I have seen and heard a lot. Believe me when I tell you that most teachers want to teach your children. Most of the time the person who is the biggest impediment in their child's education is the parent.
Now that is something that is sad but true.
Forgive my rant, but I think that we mix up athletes with "normal people" when that is like apples and oranges. Most of the professional athletes went to school for training for athletics from early on. By eighth grade these kids have basically dropped out of school and gone into "athletic training education." Their parents are okay with it because what else do you do with a kid as big as a refrigerator and thick as a plank?
It is a sad thing that an athlete makes more than a doctor, nurse, teacher, scientist, astronaut. That their opinions are valued more than those professionals. But we, the masses, are the ones that perpetrate the insanity. So we are to blame.
Good night.
12-12-2011, 07:03 PM
#8
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Beaumont, Texas
Posts: 734
One of the most promising young athletes at the local university was interviewed on the tv sports segment. When asked if he was going to major in physical education, the young man answered, "No, I'm majoring in P.E."
12-12-2011, 07:20 PM
#9
Junior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Midland Tx
Posts: 252
Originally Posted by Iraxy
I beg to differ, schools are trying to teach kids every day.
Being politically correct is only showing courtesy to all regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, or religious affiliation.
Here in my town you have people angry and near violent when their children are tested and come up short regardless of the reason for the shortcoming. Then, blame it on someone or something else. The "dittohead" mentality is alive and well in east Texas.
If you want a quality education for your child, get them one. Teach them to be responsible and to listen to the teacher instead of mouthing off. Send them to school fed and in proper attire for learning. Forgo the fancy clothes and expensive sneakers. Send them to school clean. Send them to school on time.
Teach them to respect their teachers.
Volunteer at your local school. Be a physical presence. Attend school board meetings.
Most of all, show respect for the teachers yourself. To say that schools are too busy being politically correct to teach is disrespectful. But mostly, totally untrue. After all, if you can read this, thank a teacher.
As someone who has worked with and for the school system in Texas for over 40 years, I have seen and heard a lot. Believe me when I tell you that most teachers want to teach your children. Most of the time the person who is the biggest impediment in their child's education is the parent.
Now that is something that is sad but true.
Forgive my rant, but I think that we mix up athletes with "normal people" when that is like apples and oranges. Most of the professional athletes went to school for training for athletics from early on. By eighth grade these kids have basically dropped out of school and gone into "athletic training education." Their parents are okay with it because what else do you do with a kid as big as a refrigerator and thick as a plank?
It is a sad thing that an athlete makes more than a doctor, nurse, teacher, scientist, astronaut. That their opinions are valued more than those professionals. But we, the masses, are the ones that perpetrate the insanity. So we are to blame.
Good night.
Being politically correct is only showing courtesy to all regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, or religious affiliation.
Here in my town you have people angry and near violent when their children are tested and come up short regardless of the reason for the shortcoming. Then, blame it on someone or something else. The "dittohead" mentality is alive and well in east Texas.
If you want a quality education for your child, get them one. Teach them to be responsible and to listen to the teacher instead of mouthing off. Send them to school fed and in proper attire for learning. Forgo the fancy clothes and expensive sneakers. Send them to school clean. Send them to school on time.
Teach them to respect their teachers.
Volunteer at your local school. Be a physical presence. Attend school board meetings.
Most of all, show respect for the teachers yourself. To say that schools are too busy being politically correct to teach is disrespectful. But mostly, totally untrue. After all, if you can read this, thank a teacher.
As someone who has worked with and for the school system in Texas for over 40 years, I have seen and heard a lot. Believe me when I tell you that most teachers want to teach your children. Most of the time the person who is the biggest impediment in their child's education is the parent.
Now that is something that is sad but true.
Forgive my rant, but I think that we mix up athletes with "normal people" when that is like apples and oranges. Most of the professional athletes went to school for training for athletics from early on. By eighth grade these kids have basically dropped out of school and gone into "athletic training education." Their parents are okay with it because what else do you do with a kid as big as a refrigerator and thick as a plank?
It is a sad thing that an athlete makes more than a doctor, nurse, teacher, scientist, astronaut. That their opinions are valued more than those professionals. But we, the masses, are the ones that perpetrate the insanity. So we are to blame.
Good night.
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