jbrother

Stuff creates anxiety for me, and I didn't want to get rid of stuff for 3 reasons: 1) It was something passed down in the family and had emotion attached to it; 2) I paid my hard-earned money for it and I didn't want to just give it away; and 3) I might need it some day. As I went through the pass-downs, I asked family members if they wanted it. If they really wanted it, fine, but if they said they would take it if no one else would, I either found an extended family member who valued it or I let it go. The only exception was the family Bible that dated back to the mid-1600s. If it was for reason 2 and I had had it 2 or more years and never used it, out it went. If it was reason 3 and again, I hadn't needed it in 2 years, out it went. There are people out there who are really hurting financially, and for them, something that has been in my closets for 2 years without being used could be a real need they have. For me, it was wrong to hang on to stuff that someone else might be able to use. And, these days, there are so many yard sales, unless you live in a wealthy part of town where I live, traffic for yard sales is pretty low, so why waste your time. My memories are not in the stuff but in the memories my family created when we were together over the years. Although I felt twinge-y about some of the items, I let them go, and it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. No more looking through multiple boxes trying to find something, or opening a closet and getting depressed because it was crammed full and I needed more storage space. Side note: when my mother died, I inherited all of her sewing stash, which I held onto for 13 years and never used the first item of because I had so much of my own. I got in touch with my local Linus Project coordinator who is also a clothing construction teacher at a high school and asked if she was interested. She was and she came and picked up 15 boxes of quilting and garment fabrics, notions including zippers, buttons and rulers, a barely used sewing machine cabinet, an AccuQuilt Go and dies, numerous books and patterns and the like...enough to fill an SUV and a truck. She later told me she had girls taking clothing construction who could not afford to buy the fabric for their clothing projects and the fabrics I sent (basic wool crepes, wool flannel, knits and linen) would be a godsend for them. That immediately got rid of my itchy twinges about letting go of stuff. I was delighted that there IS a new generation of sewers coming up and was proud to help encourage that. To me, the overall secret is to find someone who needs what you have...homeless assistance programs, the Restore shops run by Habitat for Humanity, domestic violence shelters who are trying to help women get back on their feet, and programs that provide business clothing for low income women and men who are interviewing for jobs and trying to get back on their feet. There are also numerous charities that will take used toys and bicycles and rehab them for children whose parents can't afford items for birthdays and Christmas. That helps take the anxiety and sting out of getting rid of perfectly good stuff.

Jean in Ohio13452

I need to....................... should just put a sign on my Front door that says "Trash and Treasures"+ make me an offer..LOL I won't give to Good Will.. I Will donate to Salvation Army and Hospital Thrift Shops.

Jingle

My Daughter and oldest Granddaughter tell me to keep what I like. After I am gone they can do whatever they want with my stuff. If I die yhe least they can do is get rid of what I leave behind.

Jannie

We are in the process of moving across the country (2 states). It is hard to give up some things. I have downsized my fabric but probably could have downsized more. It is all in boxes now and I will not open them. I have purged several things in the kitchen and other rooms. The garage is next. My husband seems to be able to give up everything and wonders why I can't. After reading your replies, I am deciding what is left to pack I will be able to discard without regrets. I know my boys don't want anything and I don't want my daughter overwhelmed. My friends and quilting group got my fabric, books, and scrap booking supplies, the library got books, Savers, Deseret Industries, and Salvation Army stores are being filled just by what I have discarded and I am just to lazy to have a garage sale.

Rose_P

I had not heard this particular term before, and so went to Google: https://www.nbcnews.com/better/healt...-it-ncna816511

Many of us are at a stage in life where this concept makes a great deal of sense. My problem is that a lot of stuff represents potential for doing things. I have already eliminated hobby materials for things I'm sure I won't ever go back to, such as counted cross stitch, but there are other items - some quite bulky - that I'm pretty sure I will get back to sooner or later, if I live long enough. That's a pretty big "if" because I'm already quite a lot older than either of my parents lived. We all have to plan as if we might live to 100 or more, but also consider the very real possibility that we won't. Finding a balance is a hard and continuous task.

zozee

Jannie, you're not too lazy to have a yard sale. You're smart. If you consider your time to gather, sort, clean, price, set up, run the sale, clean up, and then take your leftover to the thrift store, are you even making minimum wage?
Let the employees do 90% of that at the thrift, you take the tax receipt and enjoy the freed up real estate in your home.

Battle Axe

I gave away (they paid for postage) 3 large priority mail boxes of stuff and scraps. It warmed my heart that someone thought it was great stuff. I didn't feel as though I was throwing it away, just passing it along to someone else who could appreciate it. Just that much space freed up my brain to thinking I can down size.

maviskw

I'm with you. I donate to St. Vinney's, too. These are the people who help out the poor with the money we spend in their shop and they give jobs to people who might otherwise be unemployable.

Jingle

I will donate to any charity. Most are scammers, just not out front with it.

Tothill

I have a thread going here about hiring a declutterer. Having an unrelated person helping is a God send. We need to reconnect after my long trip as I have a long ways to go yet.

We sort into four piles, keep, donate, recycle and trash. She takes the donate bags and boxes at the end of each session. My son and I take the trash to the dump the next day, plus the recycling. I have to find room for the keep.

What has surprized me is that I have not really missed anything at all. It is just stuff, it is not the memory, the person etc.

At the same time my brother and I are trying to sort through my Dad's place. Dad is a hoarder, luckily not rotten foot, but shelf stable food, years past the BB date, more tools than a hardware store, many broken, books and paper galore. We took 6 gallon jugs of vinegar out of a bedroom. 50 pounds of split peas, many 9+ years old. I cleaned out a medicine cabinet of pills dating to 1999.

There are 4 derelict vehicles, 2 derelict travel trailers, a 20X12 storage shed that racoons have made their home. He has a collection of every appliance that came onto the property in the last 70 years. Must have 8 phones, all but 2 do not work. There is a 9x24 shed full a 10x10 shed full and piles outside.

I do not want to leave my kids the mess Dad is leaving us.


Tomorrow I start to sort through fabric. I will be donating it to a woman who had a Home Ec. program at an inner city school. She runs it 100% on donations.