UGH! My child's friend
08-15-2010, 01:53 PM
#1
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Salem, Oregon
Posts: 2,438
Just have to vent my son Peter has his friend over to play they are both 11 years old. This other boy is - difficult? He isn't respectful to adults, when I tell him not to do something he rolls his eyes at me. If he were my child he'd be in so much trouble for doing that to me or anyone else. He back talks to adults and others, tries to shift blame when he's been caught doing something...the list goes on. I know you're thinking send the child home and don't let him influence your kid right? Peter has trouble making and keeping friendships. He plays with kids at school but doesn't really attach and become best friends. So, I worry...
I invited his parents out boating with us a couple of weekends ago it was an eye opener. He's an only child and the parents seem to not parent him but 'encourage' him to make the right choices. The mom is REALLY into her two dogs which she brought with them boating. She talks to them lovingly and affectionately like children, it seemed that their well being and needs really came first before husband and child. It was interesting. They were almost 2 hours late because the mom kept forgetting stuff at home, first the tie downs for the dogs, then whether she locked the doors to the house. So, I kind of get why the boy is the way he is... Okay I am done venting he's only here for a few hours I can handle it :-\
I invited his parents out boating with us a couple of weekends ago it was an eye opener. He's an only child and the parents seem to not parent him but 'encourage' him to make the right choices. The mom is REALLY into her two dogs which she brought with them boating. She talks to them lovingly and affectionately like children, it seemed that their well being and needs really came first before husband and child. It was interesting. They were almost 2 hours late because the mom kept forgetting stuff at home, first the tie downs for the dogs, then whether she locked the doors to the house. So, I kind of get why the boy is the way he is... Okay I am done venting he's only here for a few hours I can handle it :-\
08-15-2010, 02:03 PM
#2
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
Posts: 6,884
Oh my, the poor child! Thanks for trying to do the right thing by all concerned. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree! I will pray that friends and good nurturing stable families can give the child a better picture of how things can be.
08-15-2010, 02:08 PM
#4
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Idaho
Posts: 6,442
My kids had friends with parents that were "less than ideal" to put it nicely. (One had a mother that would tell him to "Go to the store and get me a pack of ciggarettes...DON'T get caught!!" )
I treated these kids like they were my own. They rolled their eyes at something I said, they got in trouble. I gave them a time to "be home" just like my own kids, and when they were late, they got grounded like my own kids. They ate dinner with us? They helped clean up. They mouthed off? They got to spend an hour weeding the garden. They always did what I told them, they knew the alternative was to not be able to come over again...
I treated these kids like they were my own. They rolled their eyes at something I said, they got in trouble. I gave them a time to "be home" just like my own kids, and when they were late, they got grounded like my own kids. They ate dinner with us? They helped clean up. They mouthed off? They got to spend an hour weeding the garden. They always did what I told them, they knew the alternative was to not be able to come over again...
08-15-2010, 02:10 PM
#5
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: La Pine Oregon, USA
Posts: 5,907
The best thing you can do for that child is exactly what Charlee says.....I had kids like that at my home, too, and treated them just like my own. They're still friends and seemed to appreciate it. They also knew I loved them as my own....something they weren't getting at home.
08-15-2010, 02:15 PM
#6
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 2,189
There are times when I wonder how some kids even manage to grow up to be adults. They raise themselves and get there some how.
Good luck on helping this young man grow up. It may not seem as though you are getting through, but you will.
Good luck on helping this young man grow up. It may not seem as though you are getting through, but you will.
08-15-2010, 02:23 PM
#7
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Paige, Texas
Posts: 1,062
Originally Posted by Charlee
My kids had friends with parents that were "less than ideal" to put it nicely. (One had a mother that would tell him to "Go to the store and get me a pack of ciggarettes...DON'T get caught!!" )
I treated these kids like they were my own. They rolled their eyes at something I said, they got in trouble. I gave them a time to "be home" just like my own kids, and when they were late, they got grounded like my own kids. They ate dinner with us? They helped clean up. They mouthed off? They got to spend an hour weeding the garden. They always did what I told them, they knew the alternative was to not be able to come over again...
I treated these kids like they were my own. They rolled their eyes at something I said, they got in trouble. I gave them a time to "be home" just like my own kids, and when they were late, they got grounded like my own kids. They ate dinner with us? They helped clean up. They mouthed off? They got to spend an hour weeding the garden. They always did what I told them, they knew the alternative was to not be able to come over again...
Alot of time these days its the kids friends parents that help raise these kids that have parents where the dogs get more love then the kids do.
Give the kids a little love and they will love you until they die. and they will remeber who it was that loved them. Give them cookie and had them weeding the flower beds.
Good luck with the kido
08-15-2010, 02:27 PM
#8
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: South central Nebraska, US
Posts: 5,367
When I had day care kids, or my children s' friends over the parents and kids understood "My house, MY rules!!!!" My rules were strict (some said too strict!) but loving!! RESPECT was taught here along with love.
08-15-2010, 02:29 PM
#9
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Madison Heights, VA
Posts: 1,334
Originally Posted by kristen0112
Just have to vent my son Peter has his friend over to play they are both 11 years old. This other boy is - difficult? He isn't respectful to adults, when I tell him not to do something he rolls his eyes at me. If he were my child he'd be in so much trouble for doing that to me or anyone else. He back talks to adults and others, tries to shift blame when he's been caught doing something...the list goes on. I know you're thinking send the child home and don't let him influence your kid right? Peter has trouble making and keeping friendships. He plays with kids at school but doesn't really attach and become best friends. So, I worry...
I invited his parents out boating with us a couple of weekends ago it was an eye opener. He's an only child and the parents seem to not parent him but 'encourage' him to make the right choices. The mom is REALLY into her two dogs which she brought with them boating. She talks to them lovingly and affectionately like children, it seemed that their well being and needs really came first before husband and child. It was interesting. They were almost 2 hours late because the mom kept forgetting stuff at home, first the tie downs for the dogs, then whether she locked the doors to the house. So, I kind of get why the boy is the way he is... Okay I am done venting he's only here for a few hours I can handle it :-\
I invited his parents out boating with us a couple of weekends ago it was an eye opener. He's an only child and the parents seem to not parent him but 'encourage' him to make the right choices. The mom is REALLY into her two dogs which she brought with them boating. She talks to them lovingly and affectionately like children, it seemed that their well being and needs really came first before husband and child. It was interesting. They were almost 2 hours late because the mom kept forgetting stuff at home, first the tie downs for the dogs, then whether she locked the doors to the house. So, I kind of get why the boy is the way he is... Okay I am done venting he's only here for a few hours I can handle it :-\
08-15-2010, 02:30 PM
#10
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Madison Heights, VA
Posts: 1,334
Originally Posted by Charlee
My kids had friends with parents that were "less than ideal" to put it nicely. (One had a mother that would tell him to "Go to the store and get me a pack of ciggarettes...DON'T get caught!!" )
I treated these kids like they were my own. They rolled their eyes at something I said, they got in trouble. I gave them a time to "be home" just like my own kids, and when they were late, they got grounded like my own kids. They ate dinner with us? They helped clean up. They mouthed off? They got to spend an hour weeding the garden. They always did what I told them, they knew the alternative was to not be able to come over again...
I treated these kids like they were my own. They rolled their eyes at something I said, they got in trouble. I gave them a time to "be home" just like my own kids, and when they were late, they got grounded like my own kids. They ate dinner with us? They helped clean up. They mouthed off? They got to spend an hour weeding the garden. They always did what I told them, they knew the alternative was to not be able to come over again...
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