An unruly 2 year old
12-06-2010, 11:06 AM
#61
Banned
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: England
Posts: 2,365
NO WAY!!!!!!!! When my young god daughter came over from Canada for a visit with her parents who totally gave into her, she screamed and screamed and even frightened my dogs ----SO, the next tme she did it I screamed louder in her face, she was SO shocked AND I told her/them I would continue to do this every time she did, surprisingly after we had silence; children MUST NOT be allowed their own way and should be put back on the correct one.
12-06-2010, 01:55 PM
#62
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Wishing I was in the Sierra Nevada's
Posts: 739
Been there, done that. When in my children's, and grandchildren's homes I try very hard to keep my big mouth shut. However, if I am watching the children at their homes or when they are in my home I do as I deem necessary. My home is my turf and unruly children are not appreciated. I think you did well to not give in to the 2 year old in your own home. Many young mothers just don't want the stress of disaplining (sp) the children and go for the quick fix. You, on the other hand, went for the lasting lesson. Bravo!!!
12-06-2010, 02:12 PM
#63
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,712
I recieved plenty of "swats" from my favorite grandparnts both gone now. My happiest memories are of times with them. Ahhhh how times have changed.
I do not have grandkids and I fear if my sons have kids with women that allow this behavior it wont be pretty.To answer your question No I personally could never allow it to go on at my home .I have friends with young children that I have had to leave their homes early when visiting because of the bullying that was going on with 2and 3 year olds.Whew this is a sticky situation for you.
Rae
I do not have grandkids and I fear if my sons have kids with women that allow this behavior it wont be pretty.To answer your question No I personally could never allow it to go on at my home .I have friends with young children that I have had to leave their homes early when visiting because of the bullying that was going on with 2and 3 year olds.Whew this is a sticky situation for you.
Rae
12-06-2010, 02:13 PM
#64
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Wishing I was in the Sierra Nevada's
Posts: 739
Originally Posted by pookie ookie
Love everyone who's saying, "My House, my rules."
This is a great life lesson. The rest of the world is not Mama. This knowledge really is a fundamental element of success.
Do you x-stitch? Ever made a sampler? How about hanging up a pretty sampler which reads, "My House. My rules." or, "Grandma's House. Grandma's rules."
You could add pointing at the sampler to your routine. You'll have The Look and The Point.
My fave is the "Life's unfair." sampler. When they hit the "That's not faaaaiiiir!" age, they'll be biting their tongues and holding back. No kid enjoys having their whine interrupted by a dismissive "Life's unfair."
Ah, good times. Thanks for the memories.
This is a great life lesson. The rest of the world is not Mama. This knowledge really is a fundamental element of success.
Do you x-stitch? Ever made a sampler? How about hanging up a pretty sampler which reads, "My House. My rules." or, "Grandma's House. Grandma's rules."
You could add pointing at the sampler to your routine. You'll have The Look and The Point.
My fave is the "Life's unfair." sampler. When they hit the "That's not faaaaiiiir!" age, they'll be biting their tongues and holding back. No kid enjoys having their whine interrupted by a dismissive "Life's unfair."
Ah, good times. Thanks for the memories.
12-06-2010, 05:47 PM
#65
Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Oak Ridge TN
Posts: 733
At this point both of my GS are living with me. Their parents KNOW if I tell the child to do/not to do something it better mind. I put them in the corner for time out and swat their behind if needed (rarely). Both of them know if I start counting that they are in deep dodo. They answer me with yes mam, and use please and thank you. Parents are amazed that I can take the 4 yr old to the grocery store. He is a very picky eater and will put items back on the shelf out of the buggy because he doesn't want them. He did this 1 time with me and I got down on 1 knee in right in front of his face and politely explained that what I put in the buggy stayed in the buggy did we understand each other or did we have to go to the car and discuss it further? He now pushes the buggy and helps me "find" food. He knows that he doesn't have to eat it but it has to go home with us for PaPaw.
The 9 yr old lives between 3 houses (my house Sun night thru Fri morning & Mom or Dad Fri night to Sun evening).I make sure he goes to school everyday and does his homework. Parents tried to tell me what his "rules" were and I told them as long as Their child lived with me & DH and I paid his bills then I would make the rules at my house and he would abide by them and since they "could not look after him" they had no say in the matter. When he comes in on Sunday evening he yells, Mimi, I'm home as he comes in the door. He is developmentally delayed and thrives on the structure of knowing what time he has to get up, that he is going to eat 3 meals a day and is to have his teeth brushed and be in bed at 9pm. I am taking this hard line with the GS because I tried to be Mother, Father & friend to my DS and they became self centered grown up brats. I don't want a repeat of my mistakes.......
The 9 yr old lives between 3 houses (my house Sun night thru Fri morning & Mom or Dad Fri night to Sun evening).I make sure he goes to school everyday and does his homework. Parents tried to tell me what his "rules" were and I told them as long as Their child lived with me & DH and I paid his bills then I would make the rules at my house and he would abide by them and since they "could not look after him" they had no say in the matter. When he comes in on Sunday evening he yells, Mimi, I'm home as he comes in the door. He is developmentally delayed and thrives on the structure of knowing what time he has to get up, that he is going to eat 3 meals a day and is to have his teeth brushed and be in bed at 9pm. I am taking this hard line with the GS because I tried to be Mother, Father & friend to my DS and they became self centered grown up brats. I don't want a repeat of my mistakes.......
12-06-2010, 06:26 PM
#66
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Southeast Michigan
Posts: 825
Trust me, his future kindergarten teacher, will not appreciate his being allowed to do whatever he wants and never being disciplined. Speak up now before a small problem becomes a huge problem. You can't imagine how many kids come to school with no idea at all about how to behave around other people.
12-06-2010, 06:47 PM
#67
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Central Washington State
Posts: 5,997
:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup: Mimito2 -- well said.
And, Quiltmania, it sounds like the voice of experience from you, also.
In the end, all we can do is try.
For some of us, the "hardline" of discipline flies in the face of reason (our reasoning), and perhaps we have to make some adjustments to what we have considered the "right way" ...
What is at stake is the minds and hearts of children - - way too important for false pride and willful avoidance of taking a stand.
I say that we have proof of DR Spock's silliness abounding around us - - it is time we start living like we have learned from his ignorance so that our children do not have to wander in the wilderness of anti-socialism.
As far as taking a village to raise a child - - don't you believe it! It takes a FAMILY to raise a child. A family of a variety of talented, capable adults who share input for the sake of the child.
And, Quiltmania, it sounds like the voice of experience from you, also.
In the end, all we can do is try.
For some of us, the "hardline" of discipline flies in the face of reason (our reasoning), and perhaps we have to make some adjustments to what we have considered the "right way" ...
What is at stake is the minds and hearts of children - - way too important for false pride and willful avoidance of taking a stand.
I say that we have proof of DR Spock's silliness abounding around us - - it is time we start living like we have learned from his ignorance so that our children do not have to wander in the wilderness of anti-socialism.
As far as taking a village to raise a child - - don't you believe it! It takes a FAMILY to raise a child. A family of a variety of talented, capable adults who share input for the sake of the child.
12-06-2010, 07:28 PM
#69
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: from Fl currently in Indiana
Posts: 393
Pam,
I have a 4 yr old and a 3 yr old. The tantrums are normal. I will say that I have your attitude about tantrums... when my oldest was almost 3 he threw a tantrum in Home Depot. I left him crying there on the floor much to the dismay of many customers and my husband. That was his last tantrum.
My 3 yr old still has them. The funny thing is the oldest says "Lucian if you throw a tantrum, you won't get it anyway" lol.
Hopefully, your daughter will see that she is making the problem worse by reinforcing the tantrum.
As for the advice.... ask her if she wants advice... in a random way. She always has the option to ignore it.
I have a 4 yr old and a 3 yr old. The tantrums are normal. I will say that I have your attitude about tantrums... when my oldest was almost 3 he threw a tantrum in Home Depot. I left him crying there on the floor much to the dismay of many customers and my husband. That was his last tantrum.
My 3 yr old still has them. The funny thing is the oldest says "Lucian if you throw a tantrum, you won't get it anyway" lol.
Hopefully, your daughter will see that she is making the problem worse by reinforcing the tantrum.
As for the advice.... ask her if she wants advice... in a random way. She always has the option to ignore it.
12-06-2010, 08:51 PM
#70
Super Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Merced, CA
Posts: 4,188
Many years ago I heard a story from an older woman when the subject of child behavior came up.
There was this old lady who had had 7 children and had raised them in a house filled with lovely antiques. After they grew up a visitor complimented her on keeping her valuable antiques so lovely in spite of all those children.
The old lady merely laughed. "My dear," she said, "Keeping the house nice was easy, because in my family, most of the polish was on the children!"
There was this old lady who had had 7 children and had raised them in a house filled with lovely antiques. After they grew up a visitor complimented her on keeping her valuable antiques so lovely in spite of all those children.
The old lady merely laughed. "My dear," she said, "Keeping the house nice was easy, because in my family, most of the polish was on the children!"
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