Rhonda

My first thought was I would be screaming at her to get her hands off my child! The issue is not the smoking here it is that you handled your child as any responsible mother would. I have grandkids that have gone to sleep in the cart lots of times! It is just life when you have kids. I take a small blanket with me and lay them in the cart when they fall asleep and put my groceries around them sometimes.
I never shopped much with mine when they were little they stayed in the car with their dad alot of the time. But when I was 23 I had 3 under the age of 3. 21 is not that young to have a child.
The lady was way out of line in harrassing you. She is entitled to her opinion but she is not entitled to take your child out of the cart!!!
You should have complained to the manager that she was threatening your child. I would have! A little one bobbing her head while asleep in a cart is no crime and it is not that bad for the child. I have seen mine bob their head the same way in a carseat! Yes it bothers me but sometimes you can't help it.
As for the car you were right there you were not miles away or leaving her in the car while you went and shopped or worse!

Hang in there! There are always people willing to tell you how to live your life!! Just ignore them! They need to clean up their own problems before they try to tell you what's wrong with you!

You are doing a good job with your daughter from the sounds of it so use your own judgement and you will be fine!

kacie

I've found that the best way to handle pesky strangers giving advice is to not engage them in conversation or argument of any kind. Simply say "thank you for your concern" and repeat that statement every time they say something. You do not owe strange people any kind of explanation, and if they're looking for a fight, they become very frustrated if you don't fight back. Keep yourself on the high road.

amma

Hon, 25+ years ago I have had women come up to me and threaten to turn me in for daring to swat my childs behind for misbehaving and slapping their hands and one actually did turn me in! Believe me, they were not hurt, but were in need of discipline when talking was not doing any good. CPS showed up about 2 hours after we got home and were not happy to have been called out on a blatant false claim. She must have followed me home to get my address :roll: I had one mother threaten to turn me in when my 3yr old threw herself on the floor of the grocery store and had one BIG whopping fit... and I layed down beside her and threw one too!! She said that I was abusing my daughter by embarrasing her in public :roll: I just told her to do what she needed to do.... Another time we were at a park and I surprised my kids with a planned food fight, (they had been talking about how fun that would be) I grabbed a handful of food and started throwing it... she did not see they were laughing, all she heard across the park was the yelling and carrying on... the police showed up as we were cleaning it all up and they went back to tell her there were laws against making false claims :roll: Even now with the grandkids, I have been the receiver of those "looks" when I threaten to spank their butts when we are out in public or actually do it... There are many people out there who stick their noses where they do not belong! Life is easier if you can just let it roll off of your shoulders and not let it get to you :wink: :wink: :wink:

pittsburgpam

I haven't read all the replies yet but I was also a young mother. Though I was married at 18 I had 3 children by the age of 23. My first thought about some stranger trying to pick up my child out of a shopping cart is "you dare!?!?" She would have got the sharp side of my tongue for presuming to touch my child let alone to lecture me.

How can anyone think that 21 is too young AND to assume that you aren't married???

Just carry yourself with dignity and assurance and don't let them get to you.

Barb M

I do understand what you mean hon. I was a mom at 19, yes i was married, but now a days, being married or not should not be a stigma. But i do know what you mean. I was forever feeling that i had to prove to all the older moms that i was just as good a mom as them. I always felt i had to try twice as hard to prove i was a good mom, and i did put twice as much into my kids as they did. The fact that you are concerned about this tells me one thing, that you are a very good and caring mom, and that you too will prob put twice as much into your little baby than some of those old bitties put into their kids. Give yourself a thumbs up, and don't worry about it. In the end, you know that you're a good mom. Many people smoke, so i wont say anything about that, other than you did it the right way, your turned the A/C on, and your baby was safe and comfortable (((hugs)))

Quilt4u

I got married at 19 and had my DD at 21. As for that women. What was she out of her mind.You don't go picking up an other person's child when the mother is right there. I would have called the ploice on her.

reneebobby

Oh man that lady is a (well you know what) I was 19 when i had my daughter. This was surely one rude lady. Who cares if you are married or not, as long as the child is being loved by two parents. Now if it was me (smart butt and all) I would have told her, your are right I'm not married but my daughter was concieved out of love and she has two loving parents unlike many children today, and with her saying i should (which she did) call the cops. Again (smart butt me, which I have done) I would tell her hold on while I dial and I'll report MYSELF and then you for harassment.

As for smoking I'm a smoker we all know how bad it is but it's an ADDICTION people seem to forget (mostly the ones who have quit)
Just love your daughter and enjoy her.

okie3

mireelmar,
when I read your post I just did a big burn. You were seeing to your child.
The woman had no right to interfear with you. It was none of her business.
You were not exposing your baby to smoke, made sure she was kept cool enough and heck, kids go to sleep in shopping carts all the time.
Yes you should probably stop smoking but I should too. I'm a grandmother and don't like to expose my grandkids to smoke. I keep a can of Fbrezze or some other type of fabric deoderizer with me and spray myself down good with it. Or make sure I have cloths sealed in space bags with me to change clothes. I did this while they were babies up until they were around 5 or 6. I still carry the fabric stuff around with me. I've got to where I'm pretty concisous of the smoke smell and we don't smoke in our house.
You were better than I would have been. I would have told her to put it where the sun don't shine.Connie

LindaR

you and your friend was having too much fun for that lady LOL....I smoked thru 3 pregnancies and finally at 60 had to quit and it was sooo hard...not an easy thing to do. I came up with cancer at 65 and asked the doctor if smoking contributed to the cancer and He said what do you think...well that told me how stupid I was. btw, 21 is not young to have your first child. Keep up the good work

carrieg

Excellent advice here!

Remember, too, all the babies who do need help and the nosy people who help them. Also, as we get older, all you 20-somethings look younger and younger to us!