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Thread: What does your dIL or SIL, daugther or son in love call you?

  1. #1
    Super Member Annaquilts's Avatar
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    I wonder what does your daughter or son in love, DIL or SIL, call you? My oldest boy is 24 and will be marrying this February. My daughter in love just wrote me a note and called me mama plus our surname. I like it sofar. The name mother in law makes my hair stand up since it has such a negative connotation to me. I think I even use my husbands mother over saying mother in law. OK I can see you are reading this but what do they call you. LOL

  2. #2
    quiltnerd's Avatar
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    From the other side... I call my MIL by her first name. My SIL calls her "mom", but I can't bring myself to do it. I love Sue dearly and think that she is wonderful, but she isn't my mother!

  3. #3
    Super Member Annaquilts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quiltnerd
    From the other side... I call my MIL by her first name. My SIL calls her "mom", but I can't bring myself to do it. I love Sue dearly and think that she is wonderful, but she isn't my mother!
    I appreciate your feedback. When I got married 25 years ago I called my husband's parents mama and papa but they told us they wanted to be called by their first names including by their grand children. It made them feel old.They are not that motherly or fatherly so I guess it fits. Odly enough now 27 years later, they want to be called mother , father and grandpa/grandma but I now feel weird about it after so many years especially since we do not have that kind of relationship. Actually when DH and I got married I was told I was not part as it was not the same. This was just not about me or personal but for anyone their chidlren went with or married. They are very much focussed on themselves and their 4 children above any son or daughters by marriage and even the grand children. It is the way it is and I do not think it is meant to be malice.

    I have 14 children,~ 2/3 by adoption and~ 1/3 by birth and they call me mama including some of their friends. So being called mama by none biological children or adults is not unusual to me. I thought that my son's wife to be would call me by my first name as she does with her father's new wife but I am pleasantly surprised to have the mama part with it. I did not realize I would feel different or care but it makes me happy.

  4. #4
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    I called my inlaws Mom and Dad...
    One SIL calls me Mom the other by my first name. I am happy with what they are comfortable with :D:D:D

  5. #5
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    some call us Mom and Dad, others use our first names. our kids do the same with their inlaws. some of my kids friends cal me mom, too. It doesn't matter to me which they use

  6. #6
    Super Member Annaquilts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by amma
    I called my inlaws Mom and Dad...
    One SIL calls me Mom the other by my first name. I am happy with what they are comfortable with :D:D:D
    I think the relationship is the most important. You are right what ever they are comfortable with.

  7. #7
    Super Member fidgety's Avatar
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    My DD calls me mom or mother at times lol.. son says momma when he wants something. lol. he is 30! My son in law calls me Theresa as we have had our bouts ! lol He loves me but we clash sometimes. My DGS;s call me mammaw and my step granddaughter well it is eaither chee chee, or tresa (she couldnt say theresa) sometimes it is mammaw . Now my dear friends at work call me Momma "T". I am the oldest worker there lol..

  8. #8
    wanna be quilter's Avatar
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    We called our parents and parents-in-law mum and dad, our sons call us mum and dad, also our DIL. our G.children call us nanna and grandad.

  9. #9
    Super Member SuziC's Avatar
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    They just use my name. We are more like friends than in-laws. We don't see my DH parents so we have "other" names for them....LOL

  10. #10
    Super Member AlwaysQuilting's Avatar
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    My sons-in-law call me by my first name which I like a lot.

  11. #11
    Super Member raptureready's Avatar
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    Either Mom or my name and both are fine by me. One dil introduces me as "Jamie's mom" although I didn't give birth to him. The other introduces me as "Chris's step-mom" and that's okay too. (but both boys call me mom as do dh's children by his second wife.) The grandkids and great grandkids call me Grandma H______. I've never gotten into the name game thing, whatever they want to call me is up to them--as long as it's not disrespectful. I always called my in-laws by their first names. The first ones never accepted me into their family so there wasn't a question of any more familiar terms. My late mil was wonderful but I still called her by her name. I called her mom once and my sisiteril informed me that she was "her" mother not mine. My ssil is a very insecure, possessive woman.

  12. #12
    Super Member sunflower126's Avatar
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    I never had a MIL and as for my FIL he has been gone for so many years now I can't remember what I called him. My husband always called my mom Gram once we had kids. Probably avoided having to call them by a name before that. My DIL (both current and ex) and SIL call us Mr. and/or Mrs. O. Works for us. I've been Mrs. O to so many kids that I have been with in Girl Scouts and as a sponsor with the high school band etc. that it is very comfortable for me. The grandkids all call us grandma/pappy.

  13. #13
    Senior Member grendelskin's Avatar
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    When my sister got married, my brother in law was not comfortable calling my folks by their first names so he calls them MIL and FIL (mill and phil)!

  14. #14
    Super Member clem55's Avatar
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    My MIL was in her late 30"s when we met, and she told me to call her Dell, so that is what I always called her, FIL was Pop. My first SIL called me Mom from the get-go, but DILs all called me Carol. My children call me Mom, grands called me Mawma and then as they got around age four, they started saying grandma. I would refer to myself both ways to them so the choice was really theirs. I think it is very cute for little ones to call grands by the cutie names, but not when they are older. My children called my mother grandma and hubs mom, grandma Dell. Their friends, for the most part ,called me MOm or Carol. I actually prefer being called by my given name rather than Mrs. ? or Don's wife/ I am not a formal person, I am me, CAROL.

  15. #15
    Power Poster cjomomma's Avatar
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    I call mine your mother and your father. Dh just gives me a funny look and says I'm sorry even before he knows what I'm going to say. Our kids refer to them as those ppl but call my parents grandma and papa. We had a good relationship with the in-laws until 2 years ago when we found out they were saying cruel things to our 2 oldest kids when we weren't around. Dh caught his mother and then she denied saying it. Oh well life goes on. Please be kind to your future DIL apparently she loves you if she is calling you Momma before they are married.

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    Years and Years Ago.....I did say what may I call you to them {MIL & FIL} In reply told it was may choice so {{{not being so shy those who 'know' me here}}} said what about Mamma {followed by first name} etc.

    Then found other some of my other SILs were doing the exact same. Great minds think alike.

  17. #17

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    Years and Years Ago.....I did say what may I call you to them {MIL & FIL} In reply told it was my choice so {{{not being so shy those who 'know' me here}}} said what about Mamma {followed by first name} etc.

    Then found other some of my other SILs were doing the exact same. Great minds think alike. :-D

    Sadly, time has passed and one is no longer with us on earth and the other is in her own world. :-( I miss our talks and seeing them.

  18. #18

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    Oh sorry for the double...msg. did not seem like it was posting.

  19. #19
    Super Member maryb119's Avatar
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    My SIL and DIL call me by my first name and I'm fine with that. Sometimes, they call me Grandma when they are talking to the grandkids.

  20. #20
    Super Member happynana's Avatar
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    my children call me Mom-mommy when upset. My SIL and DIL also call me Mom. My Stepson calls me by my first name and so does his fiance. I called my MIL Mom too-kindof funny, cause I almost wrote "I call", but God rest her soul, she died last week. My grandchildren call us Nana and Pop Pop.

  21. #21
    Super Member raptureready's Avatar
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    I think what's most important is that people feel comfortable with the name that they're using and the name they're being called. My step-daughter called me Mom up until her dad cut off the never ending "I need" checks and I wouldn't take her side. Now she calls me by my first name and that's okay by me. I don't really think of them as step children, I just use that to clarify. They aren't my "birth" children but rather my "heart" children.

  22. #22
    Super Member lovingmama's Avatar
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    I think as long as they call you lovingly, it doesn't matter.

  23. #23
    Senior Member Laura22's Avatar
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    My husband is the youngest of four children, so I already knew that his parents preferred to be called mom and dad. I got married really young so it's become so natural now that I think of them as Mom and Dad in my own head.

    My parents always called their in laws by their first names.

    I feel more comfy with Mom and Dad. I get the fact that they aren't my parents, but they are the ones that raised the most wonderful man on Earth so Mom and Dad better conveys how much I love them for it than calling them Barb and Jim would.

  24. #24
    Super Member Annaquilts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cjomomma
    I call mine your mother and your father. Dh just gives me a funny look and says I'm sorry even before he knows what I'm going to say. Our kids refer to them as those ppl but call my parents grandma and papa. We had a good relationship with the in-laws until 2 years ago when we found out they were saying cruel things to our 2 oldest kids when we weren't around. Dh caught his mother and then she denied saying it. Oh well life goes on. Please be kind to your future DIL apparently she loves you if she is calling you Momma before they are married.
    We all love our new family memember. She is our new daughter in love. Get along with her parents too. They are divorced. Her mother is a quilter and has cats so you know she is great. lol

  25. #25
    Super Member BKrenning's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quiltnerd
    From the other side... I call my MIL by her first name. My SIL calls her "mom", but I can't bring myself to do it. I love Sue dearly and think that she is wonderful, but she isn't my mother!
    Ditto for me! And if my FIL was still alive--I would call him Dirtbag but that's a different topic--LOL. Hubby calls my parents by their first names but he's uncomfortable doing it. He would rather say Mr. or Mrs. surname but that makes them uncomfortable. When my in-law/in-love kids try to call me Mrs. surname--I think they have me confused with my MIL.

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