thismomquilts

A few years ago we had to face the possible death of my husband due to cancer in his neck. He made a living will, we thoroughly discussed what I should do, we had three children at home at the time, and I've always known about our finances. We had a plan in place prior to anything possibly happening.. thank God it all turned out well and we are still alive and well!

mshawii

Glad to hear it. Jan

BARES

My older brother was murdered when I was 30. My family couldn't cope with details about anything other than the funeral. I flew back East for the that and stayed to deal with the police, stolen property, collecting outstanding monies and eventually disposing of the business all the while two of the employees were trying to steal it. Since the murderer stole a lot of property, autos, business machines, and files, much had to be recreated and even reconstructed. Everything was taken "one crisis at a time".

One of the biggest things I learned was NEVER give original copies of anything to anyone. I didn't realize this until I gave an life insurance paper to them. Another thing is that even tho everyone will want an original death certificate, there are only two or three people/companies. Every thing turned out well and nearly everyone we had to deal with was helpful and compassionate. Most everything I did was to find out what the situation was and take their number. After I was able to discuss it or find out what was needed, I made notes about what I wanted to say and called them back WHEN I WAS PREPARED AND LESS STRESSED. You could do something similar so you can discuss it with your son.

My situation with DH would be different, and I have thought about. It is a scary prospect. I have a couple of pamphlets that I can refer to since I have no family here to rely on.

Sally 1612

I am keeping up with all the posts. I have just printed material off the aarp site that was posted here. It looks like some of our papers need to be updated. We will do that asap. Also forwarding this same info to our son. He may need to do the same for his family. We spoke with last night and I said I wonder what has set me on to this....his reply was right on" well mom you do like to keep things organized" then he laughed at me. He is right, I DO organize things..for me.. :oops: :thumbup: Mabe theis info will be of use to other members?

jbrother

I'm glad you found it useful and I agree, I think it would help others. It certainly helped me. I am updated on most everything or it is currently in the works.

damaquilts

Yes planning is very very important and not just for what happens after. I have that all settled, A DNR,daughter has power of attorney and the body is going to be donated. But I hadn't planned for living with out being able to work. Divorced at 38 left with nothing,struggled through till kids were grown, went to school at 48, had everything planned out for the next 10 yrs.Then health issues hit. Everything is still such a mess that if I knew then what I know now I wouldn't have had the surgery. Daughter lost house , I lost everything(at least there is nothing for the kids to fight over. :-) . I am adjusting but its hard. If I had everything to do over, I would have put money in my mattress for sure and not told a soul.LOL

sammy89

I live in Killeen TX and I am german so no family here, well my kids but they all live there own lives always like to meet new quilter friends

greenini

We're retired, no kids 65 and 62 and talk about it a lot as we spend a lot of time traveling together in a car and feel it's likely we might die together in a car accident! We've got wills, POA, health care proxies and financial advisers we trust. I usually do finances, have told DH to let financial guys continue to manage and keep the accts with Schwab so less chance of embezzlement, etc. I'm not sure he knows where everything is quite, but it's in file drawers with labels, mostly!

I've told him to remarry if I go first if he finds someone...it's more likely he would be able to remarry then me, just law of averages...

He would buy motorcycle and take off on road trip or so he says, not right away, of course, I'd pretty much stay in our condo until I can no longer do the few stairs or get help, as I'm already disabled. Without his help I would have to pay for all the things he does for me including driving me to far dr's appts, grocery shopping, etc.
We talk about it, but hope it won't be a problem for a long time, guess I think by thinking about it ahead it's less likely to throw either of us for a loop....but I'm sure we'll be stunned as everyone is always.

patchsamkim

My husband passed away almost 7 years ago...it took a lot longer than a year to be able to make a decision on what to do....and for the time being, the decision was to stay in my house, as I still had sons at home (they were 14 and 17 when their dad died). Oldest is moved out and lives 3 hours away, at least for now...and possible will move even farther away for his job in time. Youngest is a senior at college...and I can feel that the time to think about moving is getting closer. Once he graduates, I will probably downsize and move somewhere where I don't have the upkeep that I have on this house. I don't know yet if he will be job searching in this area, or further away...and what I will do if he moves out of the area. I don't have family here, but this is where I have lived for 18 years, and where my closest friends are. And I do have family other than my son 3 hours away, so that is also a possibility. Definitely won't make a decision until I know it is the right one.

donnalynett

My husband and I have all paperwork and wills, etc....done however I do wonder what will happen to me if he passes first? I have no children. Who will take care of me?