Worries are silly

Old 08-07-2010, 04:29 AM
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This week a very dear friend of mine past at the age of 59. He and his wife are my ex-husbands aunt and uncle. We've remained very close since the divorce. Sometimes I worry that there will be "problems" with my presence at family function that they invite me to so I avoid the gatherings. Well this is one you can't avoid, a funeral. I was so worried that the ex would be there (He still is bitter after 7 yrs, even though he's remarried I'm not) so I called to make sure I could at least avoid him. Then I worried that the extended family would not want me there and cause a scene. But hell or high water I was going to this showing for my dear friend connie that lost her husband. So my boyfriend said "I'm going with you for support" hes a gem by the way. His precense I thought would be another problem. To my surprise I was greeted with open arms. The ex wasn't there and the family was telling my boyfriend how great I was and not to let me go! They told him of all the wonderful things they thought of me. I suppose I've been a little insecure since the divorce. Thats another long story. Anyway I know there are others out there that worry about silly things like this and my point is DONT. When your heart is in the right place theres nothing to worry about.
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Old 08-07-2010, 04:35 AM
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Sorry for your loss of your friend. Hold your BF close; thank you for the message. Hugs
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Old 08-07-2010, 04:37 AM
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Im glad you went! I have been divorsed from my ex-husband for 10 yrs, but we get along better now than we did when we were married. His cousin's husband was killed in an accident and I called him to let him know I was going in advance. I thought at first that there might be a slight problem with my ex-MIL, but he said he would take care of it before then. Im glad I went, I was close to his cousin, and her family. The ex-MIL gave my dirty looks (but never said anything),but after being married to her son for 17 years, I was use to it (LOL). Im glad things worked out for you the way they did.
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Old 08-07-2010, 04:38 AM
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So Happy you was treated nice....sometimes we worrie over little things..which in Divorce and his side or her side of the family..it puts a strain on things..., but glad everything worked out..sorry about your friends Husband...
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Old 08-07-2010, 09:23 AM
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Sorry about your loss but glad you are still happy with ex's family.
I have a wonderful lot of ex BIL/SIL who still keep in contact,but my current IL are GHASTLY but DH is wonderful------you can't have it every way!
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Old 08-07-2010, 11:39 AM
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I am so glad that, although the passing of your friend is sad, you were able to renew your relationship with people that seem to really care about you. Best wishes.
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Old 08-07-2010, 01:11 PM
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When my brother passed away several years ago his exwife and her husband showed up - her father (a pastor) was the one who did the service and none of us minded!!! His widow (from whom his divorce would've been final the day after he died!) was the most unwelcome person there unfortunately - she would not 'allow' his new girlfriend to come to the veiwing or the funeral... sad... we had her over to the house after and we all sat around and remembered him with her. Glad your situation turned out well.
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Old 08-07-2010, 04:34 PM
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Our first ex daughter in law and I had a terrible relationship for several years. She gave me two wonderful grandchildren, so I was determined to "like" her, for the sake of the kids. At school funtions, we sat near each other, but not together, same at their sporting events. But after the first few times, it got easier and we all started sitting next to each other, her family and ours. When she remarried and was pregnamt, she actually invited me to see how she had decorated the nursery. She lost that baby , the day before she was to have her. My son, his wife and I went to the funeral home, not sure if we would be welcome there or not, but our hearts ached for her. We arrived early, and the family was still having private viewing but her brother saw us waiting and he told her we were there, She actually sent for me to come first, she wanted me to see her baby before other people showed up. All her family treated us as if we were family. we shared in their grief . I was asked to come to the service and the burial, and there I met the family of her husband. They were the ones who seemed uncomfortable and alone, so I introduced myself and they were so glad to meet me. I"ve gone on and on, but what I really wanted to say is for happy and sad events, we all need to put aside personal feelings and share with each other. Ex DIL and I are good friends now, and her mother and I email all the time.
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Old 08-07-2010, 05:03 PM
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I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. I am glad eveything worked out ok.
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Old 08-07-2010, 06:40 PM
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I'm sorry about the loss, but it seems the family still cares about you. I'm glad your worries were for nothing.
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