I was an avid quilter. As soon as I was half way through a quilt, I'd be working on a new one in my head. I was at peace whenever I was playing with fabric.
A year ago, after 20 years of happy marriage, my husband left us. Naturally the shock was great; it's never easy to discover that someone you thought you knew so well was unhappy.
The joy went out of my life and I was unable to pick up needle and thread.
After a year, I'm getting used to a life without a husband, but I am very distressed to find that my desire to quilt hasn't returned.
I have many UFO's and still love to stroke the quilts I have, but I cannot muster the desire to quilt.
I am booked into a weekend quilt retreat in March, and am hopeful that may spark something in me. I'd love to know if anyone else has gone through something like this too.

I am sorry to hear this happened to you....

When my first husband was killed, I didn't touch the quilts I was working on at the time of his accident for a long time. It was almost as if they held too many painful memories for me, as I had started them and worked on them when he was alive.

What worked for me was to start a whole new project from scratch. It took me awhile to get through that first new project, but it did get me back on track with my quilting. I did eventually get to the UFO's I had started, all except the one I was working on that night when I got the call.

Give it time, start with a small project from start to finish.... I hope you can get back to quilting, I know it gave me comfort and was an avenue to work through my grief. :)

I also did the same thing. I have made other quilts, but those started before my daughter was so sick have not gotten finished, yet.

Congratulation !!!! Dogs and husbands that leaves...shouldn't be missed....You will discover very soon that you can be a very happy person without him....and you will have much more time for quilting than when you had to do the laundry and cooking.....
We have a new pirate on board with us......Your new udventures just begins........Have fun and pick up your needle......The flag is on (Shadow Dancer is on board too) :lol: :lol: :lol:

Thank you all for your replies. I love the idea of a "Whole New Life" quilt!

You can do it, CJ! That man should be ashamed of himself. I agree with Ania. Although there will be tough times, you're far better off as a strong independent woman on your own. Your quilting will return to you, I promise. We're all here to encourage you along the way.

Hi!
I just wanted to add this:
Your husband TOOK many things with him when he left other than his clothing and shave kit... don't let him take your creativity and love of quilting from you too.

Reach down, find the anger and use it on that rotary cutter! ( Only fabric of course!)

Lori

:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
And we are waiting for you to show us...what you can do....Start quilting .....

Sweetie, I just want to add one thing. I understand the need to mourn what was lost, but you did not lose you!! That whole better half thing..pphhhhhttttttttt YOU were a whole before you met the man, and I'm pretty sure he didn't take half of you with him when he left. YOU are and always have been a whole! Like Mamagus, don't let him own anything he isn't deserving of and he definitely doesn't deserve to own your creativity or your spirit. Do your Whole New Life Quilt, then finish those that you started prior to his leaving, one at a time between new projects and donate them to a battered women's shelter. That way something good comes from the pain that you felt, and can lend comfort to someone elses.

Welcome!

While not the same as having a spouse leave you, I did have a friend die while I was working on a quilt for her. I had to pack it away. I'm back at it, and it only took 2 years. I'm very anxious to finish it, but I have to hold myself back, as I have a tendency to make mistakes and neglect all else when I get into a quilt zen. So, it will come back, you just have to find the incentive.

M

Oh my goodness! Where have I found myself?? You are the most incredible group of women!!! Thank you so incredibly much. You have made me feel so cared about.

Rest assured that, although I was utterly heartbroken for a while, I am a strong person with a very clear understanding that my husband failed, not me. He left more than a marriage; he also left his dignity and lost the respect of his sons. I have no idea when that will sink in for him, or if he will ever allow it to do so.

I went back to school for a short course in how to get a job - it was really learning how to apply computers to more than quilt design and emailing friends - and got a job straight away. I now work for a fantastic company of Psychologists who are delighted with my work and remind me all the time that I am an intelligent woman who is capable of anything - it's a joy to come to work each day.

And now, look what has happened! I've found a wonderful group who are amazingly generous with thier inspirational and uplifting words.

Thank you all again.

:mrgreen: Enough with thanking...start quilting...A good job is not an axcuse for not quilting....lol
I am really glad you feel the way you do....

CJ...welcome to the family sweetheart :) You're right, these are the most incredible folks, women & men, I've ever had the pleasure to meet. Each and everyone of them, including you, have been such a blessing and treat in my life. I'm so proud and honored to have such a wonderful family of friends grace my days!

CJ, hang in there. He's lost things he won't be able to get back or redesign. For your boys' sakes, I hope he can repair that fence. For your sake, it's probably a case of good riddance. Sounds like you're getting your life into a new order. The quilting too will come. I think something that was a big part of your life before won't stay away too long.