clem55

I have never had an outside job. As a young bride my mom told me that it was my job to take care of my home and family, and to learn to live on my husbands salary. There were plenty of times that it was really hard to do, especially when sisters and SIL's were all working and seemed to have so much nicer things than we did. It was also at a time when women were showing they were as valued in the workplace as men, and for us who werent working, we were sort of looked upon as not being quite "good enough". I remember going out for cocktails with my husband and a group that he worked with, and there were several women in the group. I was asked by one what did I do, and when I said I took care of my home and family the looks I got were instantly demeaning. And for the rest of the time, they all talked about work and I was ignored. My husband was in upper level management so we were often in gatherings such as this, and it was always the same. The men were nice and even attentive, but not the women. I got so I hated going. My sisters all held jobs, and none had as many children as I, so they really didnt have too, they wanted too. What was so funny to me, and showed some jealousy was when I turned 65 and could collect SS on my husband, one sister was livid. I drew as much as she did, and she thought that was unfair because I had never worked. I told her I worked my A$$ off all those years, and my children all had a good sound upbringing and they knew they had plenty of love, a home to bring friends too, and "mom" when they needed me. So dont you let anyone make you feel worthless if being at home for your family is what is important to you. Remember, anyone can be taught a job skill, but there isnt anything but hands on learning for "just being a mom".

wolph33

she was not thinking.don't let her bother you-go quilt and be happy :lol: :lol:

sew_sew

I worked, had 5 kids and sewed. When a person says they don't have time, usually means they don't want to.

Deborah12687

are you saying that I am selfish?

chairjogger

Wow ! I have never posted something that struck such a chord.
I see so many ways to explain this woman's comment ( by the way, it is every time I see her), why I should not comment - why start a dialogue of my obvious disabilities, and some wonderful ( !) candy for my mind - things I can say to myself as I walk away!

Thank you all. I agree, not said in malice, but once said, does not need repeated.

thank you everyone !!

IrishNY

I am sorry that she made you feel bad. It's so hard when someone says something thoughtless that hits a place where we're sensitive.

You probably should have replied something like "I know plenty of people who manage to do both" just to give her a taste of her own medicine. :roll:

charity-crafter

Oh, this is several times? Then I'd say, "that's what you always say." Maybe when she starts to say "I work" You can sing-song it with her and laugh like it's a joke.

Find a humorous way to tell her that many people do both, work and make quilts for charity.

And she could be feeling bad that she doesn't think she has the time to do the things you so... I know, no excuse...

Good luck

IrishNY

We all use time limits as an excuse to not do things that are not a high priority. The woman in question used working as a excuse to not quilt because she doesn't really want to quilt. If she did, she would make the time and drop another activity.

There are lots of things I don't do because I work. I do the things that are really important to me, but if I had another 8-10 hours free a day, I would add some other things I can't do now.

It's a matter of priority - we do what's most important to us in the time we have.

LucyInTheSky

And she was just saying that she would like to do something fun but can't because she's not in a situation where she can do that. So be glad that you are able to quilt all day and that you're choosing to help children in need!

My goal is to get to a point where I don't need an outside job and can quilt all the time. That'll be awesome :D

LucyInTheSky

Very well said. Hmmm, I should go to the gym...