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Thread: Has quilting made you more or less of a loner?

  1. #51
    Super Member donnajean's Avatar
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    Just want to thank all those who expressed kind words regarding my sister. Is it not great to know that there are so many of us loners. I spend a good deal of time alone working in my gardens, quilting, walking, etc. I agree that if someone is causing stress in your life, you are doing yourself a favor by avoiding them. Stress does kill! For those who do feel too alone, we are only a few clicks on the keyboard away. God Bless!

  2. #52
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    I think it is very important to be able to entertain yourself, to be happy even by yourself, to be self reliant, to do more than just socialize.... on the surface of life. But although we need time to alone to complete our work we also need to share it. So there needs to be a balance.

  3. #53
    queenlatte's Avatar
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    I don't think quilting can make you a loner. You're either a loner or not. I'm a home body. However, at times I crave some socialization. My DH and I have been in this town going on 5 years and have not met any friends. We're retired. My DH is very outgoing and I'm more reserved around people. I LOVE to meet outgoing people because they bring me out of my shell. Just started quilting, it's so fun and this QB is my new friend.

  4. #54
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    I had a very good friend of about 50 years who quilted and we corresponded all the time. She passed away and I sure do miss her letters. Makes me feel like a loner and I carch myself checking the mail for her letters. We shared patterns, ideas, and general chitchat.

  5. #55
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    So sorry for the loss of your sister. How wonderful your thoughts of her can live on whenever you use one of her pieces of material. I think there is a difference between being a loner, and being lonesome.

    Personally, I am social when I want to be, but on my free time I like to read, sew and garden. If doing what I like to do makes me a loner, so be it. I raised my kids, took care of my parents, spend time with my grandkids when I can, am willing to lend a hand whenever needed, but my time is now my own, and I love it.

    The world needs lot of different people. enjpy being who you want to be. M

  6. #56
    Senior Member bunniequilter's Avatar
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    Sorry for the loss of your sister. I wouldn't describe myself as a loner. My house is my comfort zone, it's the one place I feel at total peace, and my sewing room is the heart of my comfort zone.

  7. #57
    Super Member raedar63's Avatar
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    How sad, yes I see myself the same way.....

  8. #58
    Super Member EagarBeez's Avatar
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    sorry for the loss of your sister. For me, I guess you could call me a loner now. I have 2 sisters, but, they both live across the country from me. I saw one of them 2 yrs ago and the other about 6. I talk to them. I had friends back on the east coast, but, since moving across the country to where I am now. We correspond through Christmas cards. Actually, I only know where my one friend is, the others either got sick and passed on or moved. We lost touch. Both my parents have passed within the last 6 yrs. It's me and DH. We live in a rural area. No neighbors across the street. House is vacant. Woman in the Nursing home. Our neighbors across the way are young with small kids. My in-laws who have a house in the next lot from us are here during summer months. No quilting groups in our area. The closest 100 miles. I speak to people in stores and a howdy doodie to some, but, it is mainly DH and I. He watches T.V. or weather permitting will build wood furniture. I used to be more sociable, but, lost my hearing and now, have a cochlear implant which helps. People look and try to figure what the heck I have on my ear. It's fun educating them. But, no close friends. I do my quilting which I love art work and designing and then we travel once a year to visit kids and grandbabies
    I have this quilting board and all you wonderful people, whom I consider to be friends. Thank you all

  9. #59
    Junior Member sew_sew's Avatar
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    I'm a bit of a loner but always was. I'm perfectly friendly and get along well with others but it part of who I am to like my private times. Thus said, I wish I of not left my husband (now ex husband) alone watching tv so much. I hated the shows he watched but maybe I should have given up having a sewing room and put my sewing maching on a table near where he sat watching tv.

  10. #60
    Super Member mhansen6's Avatar
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    Quilting has done just the opposite for me. I have met so many wonderful people through this hobby that I now call friends. The only problem is that I want to retire so I can spend time with these friends and do more quilting.

  11. #61
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    Donna - please don't let the loss of your friend keep you from trusting others. Sometimes people just grow apart. If she won't or can't tell you why, it is her loss. I had a good friend that was kind of the same way - but I was the one that pulled away. It got to where I was expected to cater to her every wish. I had to believe the same way she did, and think the same way she did. When I talked to her about this, she was very offended. Having even one or two good friends makes us very rich - I hate to see you seclude yourself like you are. One step at a time...try getting out a little. I have three sisters and I can't imagine not having them. Hugs to all that are hurting.

  12. #62
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    Sorry about your sister. I'm definitely spending more time home alone, but when i'm quilting, I'm never lonely.

  13. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by leamelon
    I was already a loner and a crafter and I'd rater quilt than be around my negative neighbors
    AMEN to that

  14. #64
    Super Member greenini's Avatar
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    I'm sorry about your sister, I lost my only brother to brain cancer several years ago and even tho we lived far apart, I miss him.

    In some sense quilting has done both for me. I too have health issues, so I can't always rely on being able to go out. I try to, but just not always possible. So being on here is part of my social life and I hope to meet some of the QB members at the Atlanta Quilt show in 2 weeks. But I can always pick up some quilting and do a bit.

  15. #65
    Senior Member NDQuilts's Avatar
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    Quilting has always been social for me. I think the thing that has forced me toward being a loner are kids. My family and friends all work and I am a stay at home mom. My groups don't like when bring the kids and getting a babysitter is hard. I am thankful for the board since it allows me to connect virtually when live interactions seem impossible.

  16. #66
    Super Member damaquilts's Avatar
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    Hmm. Its been interesting reading all of these. Because I too am a loner. Always have been. Even being the eldest of 6 kids. Our family isn't close and honestly most of them I just don't like. I don't do well at small talk at all. Since moving in with my brother I spend probably 90% of my time alone except for my dog.When I lived in GA it took me a long time to make friends and they were all associated with the humane society.I just don't see the point in making friends and being forced to leave them that and having "friends" stab me in the back has happened too many times. So I come on here to get any social interaction I need and the rest of the time stay with me and Andy. People are always telling me to get out more. To Where??? LOL

  17. #67
    Member crazythread's Avatar
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    So sorry about your sister. In my case quilting brought me a lot of friends. Years ago when I first started quilting, I didnot know anyone else who did. I was a stay-at-home mom and lonely for adult company even though I lived in a large metropolitan area (Baltimore, MD). In a big city people tend to stay to themselves, rarely even knowing their neighbors. Well in the local paper I saw an advertise for a quilt quild in my area. Even though I was scared to death to go by myself I figured if they loved quilting as much as I did they would welcome me with open arms. They did and now 25 years later I have a wonderful circle of quilting friends that I would have never know if I hadn't made that scary move and attended my first quilt quild meeting.

  18. #68
    Super Member fivepaws's Avatar
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    Actually, I would rather quilt than leave the house. However, I am not comfortable around lots of people (just dogs) so I can not blame quilting. I am so sorry about your sister. There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. ♥

  19. #69
    Super Member Roberta's Avatar
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    I've always been a loner but feel I have many friends here on the Board.

  20. #70
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    Sorry about your sister. I'm not a loner. Belong to 3 guilds, and when I worked I didn't have time to do much of anything else. Now all my friends here quilt. I've lost a real good quilting friend 2 yrs ago. She taught me some quilting long distance on the phone. My DH said it would have been cheaper to send me to IA. to learn. I've always been a people person.

  21. #71
    Super Member Sierra's Avatar
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    But to this day my heart aches, no more close friends for me thank you!

    So with that said, I guess I am a loner and just trying to find something to do to fill the void... :-(

    Oh dear Lady.... I know we are all different. I don't have many friends, but I treasure the few I have. Try again. Join a group. It's too easy to seperate yourself and start becoming
    "weirder". Tis better to love and lose than to never love.
    Try only asking questions and listening to the other person, relating to what is important to them. After a meeting or two you can slowly introduce something about yourself (but keep it short and simple!). Do you think maybe I've been there???

    Live is too short to waste any of it.

  22. #72

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    so sorry your Sister's journey ended. i too have lost my buddy of 45 years to bone marrow cancer. i think your sister quilted so much to try and forget the pain - and take her mind from the trials she had to go through. its easy to share things through the internet - but quilting is not as easy as it seams - long hours and lots of thread go into our pieces of cloth - but the end result - oh boy, beautiful. - most people want instant gratification and that does not come with quilting. - treasure her gifts and share them with people you love. c.

  23. #73
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    I am sorry about your loss.

    In a way I think it has. I don't have very many friends that do what I do. Today I had a friend over that sews/quilts and does some other crafting that I do. Sometimes her and her daughter and I will go shopping and make a day of it together. We have fun. I am in a sewing group but most of those ladies live quite a ways away ( an hour or more). I guess I could get involved in a quilt group that meets in the next town over. but they meet at night and really I don't want to go out at night.

  24. #74
    Super Member wolph33's Avatar
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    I am kinda a loner anyway-having hobbies that keep me busy don't help.but I am ok-we have the board :thumbup:

  25. #75
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    I was always somewhat of a loner. I am in pain a lot and dont deal well with social situations. I love this board as I can interact and share and visit and all the good social stuff,but at my own pace and in my space.I can be in my pajamas or whatever and not have to worry how I look ,and if I get tired I dont have to sit and try to visit when I just wanna lay down.I truly love people,so being able to have friends and share is a real blessing!!!

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