Jamie

I've been going through a lot I'm usualy so good at handeling everything, but i think i hit that last straw....( still going through a divorce and coustody...he got arrested for child pornography..and is still trying to fight me for more coustody ) that has been costing a fortune, and it's over 2 years of this now...I want to re-marry my "hubby" who i've been with for years ( but i don't even have my divorce yet )..he is going through some bad health..hospital stays, countless tests, doc visits 4 times a month...expensive meds, ...then I have my 4 kids...my oldests adhd and the price of his meds, but it was so out of hand that the school kept calling children a youth services because of his behavore..Finaly get that under control with a new medicine, and the school straightend out, I have to take my girls to therapy every week, because we need to make sure that my child pedifile of an ex husband didn't "hurt my girls"...I don't drive, so i'm going nuts trapped in a house, it's hard trying to take care of everything yourself...and now I found a lump above my breast...and i'm sorta scared about that, and conserned because I've put it off for so long since I didn't have the money to go to the doctors myself...plus there gonna have to biopsy it, and insurance doesn't cover everything...and to top that off, the transmission in our mini van is going...and hubby is a machanic we can afford to put the money into it right now to fix it...so my hobbies and myself has been suffering, and put on the back burner! and I'm sorry for venting, and airing all my problems here.. but you guys are so sweet..and carying, i thought it would be okay!:) Thank you so much everyone for your kindness....

kwhite

It is OK that is what friends are for. You sure do have your plate full. Charity begins at home. If you need to cut up some of those old things to make you feel better then you do it. You are no good to anyone if you do not take care of yourself. That goes for the lump thing too. You have to make yourself number one cause look how many people depend on you. Ignoring it and hoping it goes away will not help any of them. There are ways to get to and from if the car dies but no one can replace YOU!!!!! Get to the Dr!!!!!

Ducky

Jamie, one of the greatest beauties of this board is that the people truly care. I have been so touched by what some of the people have said and done for others. Some will give advice and others will give you a shoulder -- and both are necessary.

I was serious about sending some stash. It looks like a few of us would love to send you something to make you smile, so let us. :D If you pm me your address, I'll get some goodies out to you.

Rebecca

omak

WOW! Just read your response to my (or shortly after) input.
That is a lot of stress going on in your home.
Might I suggest, if your doctor didn't, that you cut out all caffeine until after the biopsy, etc. I found a lump in my breast, decided to go to DR, tried to aspirate the lump that had grown from the size of my pinky fingernail in a week to the size of my first joint of my thumb ... could'nt be aspirated, so go to have a mammogram. Just as I am leaving DR office to go get mammogram, he suggested going "no caffeine" for the next week ... showed up the next week for biopsy, and happened to mention that where the lump had been hard, it was now mushy around the edges. Quite a trip to have DR reach over and grab the lump, squish it around and say, "It sure has changed, hasn't it? Guess I had better check the mammogram." Bottom line ... knocking the caffeine off for that week changed the lump and the mammogram showed that I didn't have any reason to have a biopsy.
All I drank for a week was water and 7-up ... of course, <g> I ate, but the no caffeine solution were those two items.
As a matter of fact, a lot of problems we face have a lot to do with a physical problem we don't even know about. I am not a naturopath, by any means, but it just makes sense to up your amount of water input, since that is about the fastest, safest way I know of to flush your system ... the solution to pollution is dilution.
If it works for the environment, it should work in our bodies.

omak

I spend a lot of time doing Pollyanna/Scarlett O'Hara thinking.
Pollyanna always looked at a situation and tried to find the better/good side of it.
Scarlett O'Hara's most famous, life changing line was: I can't think about that now. I will think about it TOMORROW.

If you look at everything going on in your life right now ... either philosophy is a pointless exercise of futilization. However, if you take your list of problems waiting for solutions, and approach them one by one, the task becomes a bit more manageable.
Frankly, I don't know how you can find any peace until you find a higher power than yourself to trust.
Could you possibly be beating yourself up more than life is? When getting banged over the head with some of your problems and piling on by berating yourself for "poor" choices in the past, it is pretty hard to not feeling overwhelmed.

Jamie

No caffine!! Sorry wouldn't make it through the morning...I am cutting back, and adding more water though...I'm a bit of a coffee snob! It's an all day thing for me..even have a cup before bed...But i did decide in the mean time to cut back, and flush things out. Summer vacation for the kids starts next week..and I just can't survive without some coffee..:)

Jamie

I don't generaly beat myself up over anything...but I also don't have anyone I can really talk to...all my friends tend to talk more than listen..and "hubby" works full time, goes to school full time, and has countless health issues right now himself...he doesn't have the time or energy to listen....I'm use to being the fondation and taking care of everything..I think just not having been able to get anything out into the open and talked about is just weighing on me to hard.

omak

LOL ... trust me! I know coffee cups and coffee from am to pm and beyond!
Cutting back is good. And, the more water you drink, the more you will enjoy it. Just think of your coffee drinking as a habit (I always have a solution <g>) ... the process is, pouring, sitting down, picking up cup, taking a sip, setting the cup down ... pour a pitcher of water, and pour from the frig instead of the maker. If it will help :idea: put the coffee maker in the frig. ( just a thought :wink: )
Hey! You aren't going to believe this, but when I was working over Idaho way, I ran into a family who had an ADHD kiddo - - they didn't call it that, then (obviously) ... anyway, they would give the boy a cup of coffee in the morning, in the afternoon, and at night ... it really did calm him down. I was skeptical, to say the least, but sometimes, what doesn't seem to make sense is exactly what will work - - some of us are wired differently ... it's summer, mom, could it possibly hurt to share some of your coffee once in awhile??? :lol:

omak

ahhhh .... it is hard to resign as master of the universe, eh?
Have you ever heard this one?
Of course, I talk to myself! I am the ONLY one around here who makes any sense!
(yes, I have spent a lot of time talking to myself <g>) Believe me when I tell you that nothing I suggest hasn't been used in my life ... I use it ALL!

Prism99

It's no wonder you're having a hard time getting to the sewing room with all this stuff going on!

My suggestion is to walk every day. It really does help with calming down the body and the mind. The hardest thing about it, for me anyway, is actually getting up and starting to walk. Afterwards I am always glad I did it. If I walk long enough (usually an hour), I sleep much better during the night and wake up feeling better.

If there's someone who would walk with you regularly, that can make it easier to actually get out and do it every day.