Derla

An opposite kind of story: I either would knit or crochet a baby afghan for each grandchild that was born (after my mom died - that was her role until then) One granddaughter, now in highschool, has more 'mending' area than original on hers now(and I'll bet it is still on her bed, - she just doesn't carry it around with her wherever she goes anymore) When a hole developed on it, that was a real disaster in her eyes, and it had to be 'fixed'.

Mattee

I have to admit that the moral I keep taking away from these threads is to not give a quilt to a dog owner!

:)

patdesign

There was another thread a few weeks ago along this line, so there are lots of unloved quilts out there, and the advice pretty much the same, once you give it, its not yours so let it go, dont be hurt and move on and do what you want to do, don't let the inconsiderate actions of others take away something that gives you pleasure. Just choose your recipients more thoughtfully in the future. Teenagers just don't usually have the experience to appreciate much that they didn't have to work for, but that too will come.:)

Maurene

It really seems like a lot of non-quilters don't understand or value quilts or understand quilters and our values. Maybe the best thing to do with someone we think would like a quilt or should have one because we're related to them, is find out first, and also whether or how they understand they should look after a quilt. Receiving some things mean taking responsibility for its care. Getting this bit of clarity would take away the surprise, if that is part of the gifting plan, but maybe it would prevent surprise disappointments for the quilter, and we do have to look after ourselves too. Imagine something in men's worlds with the same value as a quilt. I think a quilt, especially hand made, has about the same value as a car in design, materials and labour. (Think of the breast cancer auctions and the thousands of dollars people paid for each quilt sold in that auction). What if we gifted someone with a car and they bashed it around and wrecked it, what would we think? It wouldn't be reasonable to give a careless person a nice car, so why a nice quilt? First help them learn to be responsible, then gift them.
I love that set of care and instructions - maybe asking someone if they had the time and interest to do all that care before thinking of making them one.
Am I giving quilters and quilts with too much value? I know I have so little time to quilt what with working on my products, marketing and just surviving as a single woman (was a single mum from the time my sons were 6 and 4, absolutely no support at any level from my ex), the time spent to make a quilt was so precious I wanted every stitch to stay safe. Of course we all know that isn't desirable or possible if the quilt is to be snuggled in or bounced on a bit, but in general, we as women and quilters (most quilters are women but of course men quilters and their quilts deserve the same) deserve respect and our work does too. Quilting is such an important combination of art, love, hope, caring, labour, practical comfort creation and heirloom, to say nothing of history, especially family history it and we deserve very high symbolic and real value. If that sounds too feministic, it really is just a search for balance in the appreciation of men's and women's work and of art.

judi wess

I know how that must have hurt. I put a lot of work and love into a quilt for a little neighbor girl. A year later I saw the quilt in the back seating area of their pick up just wadded up and on the floor.
The most hurtful thing was this summer at my wedding rehersal supper when I overheard my grown[38 yo] daughter say to family and friends "I just hate it when Mom makes me things". Well let me you....I said to my sister and sister in law, away from Amy's hearing, I will never make anything for her again, it takes too much time, money and effort to waste it on someone who doesn't appreciate handmade gifts.
If my work looked shabby, I might understand. My Mom made things for me when I was a child and I thought they were wonderful. I feel better now....

Izaquilter

I made 5 baby quilts for our first grand daughter which none of them were ever used. Once she got older, she'd see me quilting & wanted to make a quilt for her doll. I told her I made her several baby quilts when she was a baby to ask Mommy for one for her doll baby. She never did show up with any. Some people just do not appreciate, period. It's like you said, it's the parents. For some they take no value in what you have put into it & other just don't have any idea what a quilt means (to you or from you). I know the feeling. I also made them a super king size quilt for their wedding that was not appreciated (by her, not my son). Later heard that she hates the color blue. Looks great in my house!

Maurene

Our bicentennial quilt group talked about these values. Several of us also smock and the smocked dresses have not always been appreciated. One made a pink dress for her granddaughter and her dil said the pink was too bright and put it at the back of the closet. My friend took it back.
More and more the solution to the problem seems to me, no matter how much we want to make a particular quilt in particular patterns and colours, does the intended recipient share our aesthetics and values. If not, make it for ourselves or someone else who will appreciate, unless we really want to see it in a muddy heap in a pickup truck or backyard doghouse!
Giving is a type of communicating - we can say something, but if the intended hearer doesn't hear or won't listen, then the communication is incomplete, one-sided; if too much communication falls on no recipient, then better for our own health and sanity to communicate to someone else.

Izaquilter

I know you all say "once it's out of your hands" but have you ever put alot of work into a quilt & had it used as a dog blanket, not used at all, not acknowledged? You put your heart into making it & to see it not appreciated hurts. I'd loved to see my grandbabies drag around their 'blankies' until they were worn & tattered but they were given these cheap fuzzies when they were little so that is what they got use to. Really makes you NOT want to do something special. And then they bring the cheap fuzzies to me to fix the binding on all the time! Errrrrr!

Maurene

Speaking of grandbabies dragging around blankies - here's a cute logo - for the Native American Quilt shop I mentioned a few days ago - their term for quilts is blankets too. http://www.calicocottage.ca/quilts/ she's in the upper left hand corner. They've changed the logo a bit in the past couple of years, she used to be just in red and black.
The ladies at the shop are great.
The quilters in the community are great, but very particular. I once saw a grandmother measure a gorgeous hand quilted hand appliquéed 'blanket' by holding the side of the end of her fore finger against it to to see if the quilting was the proper 7 st per in! She checked the appliqué stitching very carefully too. Whoever the quilter was passed muster, good thing for her!

LovinMySoldier

Give your granddaughter a little talking too :) I am 24. When I graduated from high school my grandma made me a beautiful pillow. She chewed my butt when she found it downstairs in our basement. I had only taken it downstairs to prop it up and lean against. It was a great size for that. But she was really upset that it was just left out. So I learned my lesson and always put it back on my bed. I have all of the wall hangings now that she has given me and table runners out on display even though they do not necessarily match my home or each other :) I leave them all out because I know now how much time she put into them for me :)
So maybe your granddaughter just needs to know how much love and time went into it. As for the fiancee she might need to know how much effort is involved as well.