Recent Study of Pheromones
02-23-2011, 01:29 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Sedro-Woolley, WA
Posts: 43
Received this email today and thought I would share with everyone ....
"A recent study has indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones, which actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase un-godly amounts. When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones in fabric cause memory loss and induce the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter, i.e. storing food), thereby perpetuating their species, rather than having a population loss due to their kind being cut up into pieces and mixed with others. These same Pheromones cause a pathological need to secret fabric purchases away when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by a
another person if the fabric is new, the reply is "Oh, I've had it for awhile." Sound tests have revealed that these fabrics also emit a high-pitched tone, heard only by a select few of a breed of women known as "quilters." When played backward on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants: "Buy me, cut me, sew me!" In order to overcome the so-called "feeding frenzy effect" that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage
facility (i.e. fabric shop)and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. Studies have further indicated that
aliens have infiltrated the earth, helping to spread the effect that these fabrics have on the human population. The aliens are most often disguised as fabric store clerks. Further research into the fabric phenomena is continuing."
"A recent study has indicated that fabric gives off certain Pheromones, which actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase un-godly amounts. When stored in large quantities in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones in fabric cause memory loss and induce the nesting syndrome (similar to the one squirrels have before the onset of winter, i.e. storing food), thereby perpetuating their species, rather than having a population loss due to their kind being cut up into pieces and mixed with others. These same Pheromones cause a pathological need to secret fabric purchases away when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash), and when asked by a
another person if the fabric is new, the reply is "Oh, I've had it for awhile." Sound tests have revealed that these fabrics also emit a high-pitched tone, heard only by a select few of a breed of women known as "quilters." When played backward on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants: "Buy me, cut me, sew me!" In order to overcome the so-called "feeding frenzy effect" that these fabrics cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage
facility (i.e. fabric shop)and use ear plugs to avoid being pulled into their grip. Studies have further indicated that
aliens have infiltrated the earth, helping to spread the effect that these fabrics have on the human population. The aliens are most often disguised as fabric store clerks. Further research into the fabric phenomena is continuing."
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