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Thread: how to handle a quilt shop moment

  1. #1
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    Had a embaressing moment at a local shop recently. And am at loss to get over my hurt feelings. I was participating in a monthly group and went to pick my materials but couldn't stay ( i guess you must pay if you don't stay ), I understood that if you didn't make the day and went later in the week you paid a nominal amount. But the clerk came to door and shouted across the parking lot asked ifwas I staying and of course no!!! was my response and she expressed her disappointment and the $$$ issue. I have witnessed others leaving without paying in passed months, I did go in and hand her the $$$. But I am crushed and feel like I was a shoplifter. I have been loyal to the local shops but it seems like everyone it getting a bit testy. Geez , I made a mistake, and others( guild friends seem to come and go as they please). Should I just get over it ???

  2. #2
    Super Member kristen0112's Avatar
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    I don't blame you that would be embarassing. I would talk to the manager or owner of the shop that sales clerk should be told to handle that matter more delicately. Sorry that happened to you.

  3. #3
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
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    That should have been handled much differently. The clerk has no people skills. It was a simple misunderstanding and she shouldn't have embarrassed you like that.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by kristen0112
    I don't blame you that would be embarassing. I would talk to the manager or owner of the shop that sales clerk should be told to handle that matter more delicately. Sorry that happened to you.
    I agree...if they have a policy everyone should be treated the same and they should be treated with respect...

  5. #5
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    Assuming you are a 'regular', then this was completely out of line.

  6. #6
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    Thanks because I have felt like crying all day!!!
    It could be that Iam trying to finish a graduate course in record time too. I didn't say a word to this lady, and she is the one I really like in this shop. The owner is generally touchy so talking with her is definitely out. She scares me. I may just drop out of this monthly group and not join another at this shop.

  7. #7
    Super Member Quiltforme's Avatar
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    Join our group we won't yell or make you feel bad!!!! Welcome to our group you have found a new home!!!

  8. #8
    Super Member shequilts's Avatar
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    Nifty:
    As we've all heard before, "it takes all kinds." It's a pity this person gets to deal with the public, but if the shop owner is also an ___ ____, why would she (the clerk) act any differently?
    I feel for your embarassment, but it is the clerk who should be embarrassed. I can assure you those who heard the exchange were just glad that it wasn't them. They thought no less of "you for making a mistake any one could have made.
    Don't let this stop you from attending your meeting. I've always told my kids, "you can go anywhere if you act like you know what you're doing." Walk in there like you own the shop and have a ball. I'd likely make some joke (out loud) about being yelled at by "the teacher". She'll get the message.
    There are stupid people everywhere. When I encounter one in business or on a personal level. I just wash my hands of the event, not the person.

  9. #9
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    Is it possible this clerk had been chewed out by the owner for not collecting money due? Maybe you just happened to be next one she had to collect from. Either way it was not the way to handle the situation. she could have called you aside and explained the policy. you wouldn't have been embarrassed and noone else would have overheard.

  10. #10
    Super Member kristen0112's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by niftynickel
    Thanks because I have felt like crying all day!!!
    It could be that Iam trying to finish a graduate course in record time too. I didn't say a word to this lady, and she is the one I really like in this shop. The owner is generally touchy so talking with her is definitely out. She scares me. I may just drop out of this monthly group and not join another at this shop.
    I HATE confrontation, so I know what I am about to write isn't easy to do but...If you like this sales clerk the next time you are in the store you should pull her aside and let her know that the way she shouted across the parking lot really embarrassed you that she should treat future customers more discretely. Figure out a way for her to understand how you felt as a valued customer.

    I had a similar situation someone hollering at me across the cul-de-sac, I was dumping yard debris on a corner of my lot, (to start a compost pile) but the way it is situated she could see it, and she didn't like it so she yelled across the neighborhood - IT WAS EMBARRASSING! I felt that all the neighbors heard. Up until that point I had liked Lynn but not after that. I never confronted her about her rude behavior and never talked with her again. But it only hurt me more. If you really like the shop and think it won't always bug you then don't say a word but it will probably bug you and leave a sour taste in your mouth a long time... Good Luck

  11. #11
    Super Member raptureready's Avatar
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    I reread your post and you say that you really liked the woman that did this. Chances are that she really likes you to and felt at ease yelling across the parking lot to you. She probably didn't mean to cause you any distress. Speak to her about it. Be nice. Just tell her that you didn't realize that you had to pay if you didn't stay but that you wished she'd waited until the next time you came in and said something then because it really embarrassed you the way it was handled. But be nice, be understanding. She may have been having a really bad day.

    Please don't drop out. Make a joke of it at the next meeting. Just laugh about there really being quilt police and that they'll chase you down for a couple of bucks.
    Other people can only make you feel bad if you allow them too. By not dealing with it you'll only end up full of resentment. Just take a deep breath, hitch up your big girl britches and get it over with so that you can move on.

  12. #12
    Power Poster CarrieAnne's Avatar
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    Hugs! I would have been embarraced too!

  13. #13
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    The rules of the block club should have been discussed at the first month about staying or paying. I think you happened to be the first customer to get the rule enforced on after the owner got tired of seeing others come pick up the package and leave and not staying for the program and not paying. She probably told the employee not to let it happen again. Just my guess why the clerk would be so eager to make a point with you. It was handled horribly and you have every right to be upset about it. Sounds like the store is full of negativity. I would not be spending one penny of my money at that store ever again.

  14. #14
    Senior Member crashnquilt's Avatar
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    Some shops that sponsor some type of club or BOM will sometimes give a customer to pay for kit all at one time. This may have been why you were seeing some people leaving without paying.

    I am not upholding the clerk's behavior, she should have asked you to come back in instead of yelling out.

  15. #15
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    Best to consider the source and forget and forgive...If you enjoy your group, stay on and smile..

  16. #16
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by janb
    Best to consider the source and forget and forgive...If you enjoy your group, stay on and smile..
    Then the will be a next person to be subjected to the same rudeness. Nope, I say speak up and ask what gives right off the bat.

  17. #17
    Super Member seamstome's Avatar
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    Maybe you are overstressed and a bit touchy and she was a bit over the line. Your perception and hers could both be off a bit. I say relax and ask about the rules on your next meeting.

  18. #18
    Super Member cuppi duke's Avatar
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    I think I would find another shop to spebd my money at. Everyone feels testy once in awhile but the owner should definitely not scare her customers.

  19. #19
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    not the same thing, but in the supply dept at work i went to get batteries for office equipment. the supply clerk asked what was i doing, selling them. as long as she was the supply clerk i insisted she take the dead batteries back when i went for more.
    you might just ask what the rules are so you won't be chased into the parking lot again. she may have been having a bad day too and might not have realized how she was behaving.
    i hope it works out for you at the shop and that your graduate work goes well.

  20. #20
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    thanks to everyone here , you have all been so nice and have given me much to think about until next month. I read the board at lunchtime at work, gives me a nice break from the day. You are all so welcoming to the new people!! :-)

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by raptureready
    I reread your post and you say that you really liked the woman that did this. Chances are that she really likes you to and felt at ease yelling across the parking lot to you. She probably didn't mean to cause you any distress. Speak to her about it. Be nice. Just tell her that you didn't realize that you had to pay if you didn't stay but that you wished she'd waited until the next time you came in and said something then because it really embarrassed you the way it was handled. But be nice, be understanding. She may have been having a really bad day.

    Please don't drop out. Make a joke of it at the next meeting. Just laugh about there really being quilt police and that they'll chase you down for a couple of bucks.
    Other people can only make you feel bad if you allow them too. By not dealing with it you'll only end up full of resentment. Just take a deep breath, hitch up your big girl britches and get it over with so that you can move on.
    This is the perfect way to handle this. I've learned that most often people really don't mean to hurt or humiliate you, but if you carry the grudge & the hurt, then they hang around your neck like a big chain. Hold your head up, march right in & enjoy yourself sewing. At some point, make sure you get clarification from the owners or the clerk, regarding the issue of paying. Perhaps some of the other sewers have arranged a tab & pay monthly?

  22. #22
    Super Member pattis47's Avatar
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    I believe the clerks' behavior was unacceptable. In today's economy, they should be more thankful you are there. I too don't like confrontation. However, I have learned to speak with my wallet (credit card). When I am treated poorly, I just don't return. Eventually the shop owner will call to see if "I am alright". My $20.00 - 40.00 purchase weekly doesn't seem like much at the time. But, when your shop is short $150.00 a month for 1 customer it makes a difference. (If it happened to you, it probably happened to others, multiply that and it adds up at the end of the month). Her call to check on me or ask if I am joining the new group gives me the opportunity to discuss the situation calmly after I have overcome my feelings. I very much like going to the shops to actually see and touch the fabrics, however I have started shopping online recently and have not been disappointed with my purchases. The thing I miss is the friendship I have made sitting and stitching. I have invited several of the ladies to my home to sit, chat, and stitch. This summer I made a simple salad and iced tea for lunch. With winter coming a hot bowl of soup with some crusty rolls or bread make a nice treat. Just my thoughts.

  23. #23
    Super Member ksea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cathyvv
    Assuming you are a 'regular', then this was completely out of line.
    Even if you weren't a regular, this was completely out of line. The clerk should be schooled in using good people skills. With things like this happening they are going to have a hard getting regular clients.

  24. #24
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    If you don't like face to face confrontation, maybe you could write a note to the owner and describe how you were humiliated. Writing always makes me feel better.

  25. #25

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    Occasionally a LQS just does not seem to get the business aspect of running a shop. I took a large quilt in to choose a border and the clerk said "not my colors" there are enough shops around so I will not be shopping there again. Not the first time similar attitude was shown. Don't get it.

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