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I HATE patterns! (or maybe they just hate me....)

I HATE patterns! (or maybe they just hate me....)

Old 11-08-2009, 05:17 PM
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Today Jo-Ann had their Simplicity patterns on sale for $1. I found some very cute apron and nightshirt patterns to make as Christmas gifts. I also found a nice one for sewing room items (pin cushion, chair organizer, machine cover, etc.)

I can't follow the pin cushion pattern AT ALL. I know millions of sewers find it easy to follow these instructions but I am not one of them. I can assemble Ikea furniture, do it yourself home renovation projects, legal jargon, and even computer instructions. But the "sew easy" patterns? Not a chance.

Am I the only one who has these problems? It's as though the pattern is skipping steps (or not explaining the whys and hows). For example - the pin cushion pattern's last step involves inserting a can. What can? Who said I needed a can? A full can - an empty can - a soda can - a soup can - a paint can - WHAT CAN?? :oops:

These patterns always end up making me feel foolish - especially the ones specifically labeled as "for beginners" or "for dummies". If I can't follow them, what does that make me? :cry:

Okay, I feel better now that I've shared my frustrations with my fellow quilters. I'll just stick to quilting patterns - those I've got down.
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Old 11-08-2009, 05:40 PM
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Except for quilting--ALL other patterns are Greek to me. I don't get them. I tried making the simpliest dress for my daughter when she was small... a seamtress talked me through it. I was no further ahead in my understanding when it was over. :roll: You're not alone.
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Old 11-08-2009, 06:00 PM
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I agree, I think all patterns assume one has years of experience following them!
But everything you need, such as your 'can', should be listed on the back of the pattern. Probably in real fine print.... :wink:
I have to really focus on what I'm reading, while following a pattern. And I've done quite a few!
Maybe post a picture, or give the directions, and someone could help you out?
:-)
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Old 11-08-2009, 06:20 PM
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I am such a visual person and have adhd, txcutie...unless you just really don't want to work with that pattern, post pics of the guidesheet.
You couldn't possibly need more visuals than me, lol! You just need some help. If I can't be of any use, and I might not, lol, I bet somebody here can.
What about going to their website and emailing them?
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Old 11-08-2009, 06:29 PM
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Originally Posted by MollieSue
But everything you need, such as your 'can', should be listed on the back of the pattern. Probably in real fine print.... :wink:
I looked and it does list (in tiny letters) that a 2.5" x 3" can is needed. Who new? :roll:

I appreciate all of your great support and willingness to help. I think I'm going to give up the pin cushion for now. My best friend wants me to make her an apron for Christmas and I'm going to tackle that pattern next. I may be coming to you all for help with it.

It's great to know that I'm not alone in having trouble with patterns! :D

I'd like to take a class on"how to read patterns and on how to properly use all of those quilting rulers that I keep buying.
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Old 11-08-2009, 07:13 PM
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Yeap, told you the 'can' would probably be in fine print! lol!!!! :wink:
If you have any problems with the directions for the apron, just post them, and I'm sure one of us can help!
:D
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Old 11-08-2009, 09:26 PM
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The Quilting Treasures I Love Lucy apron... no frickin' clue what any of the directions said. So I just took the measurements (they had a diagram) and made it work. I said - I need to sew down the edges - so I did. I don't know what they were talking about. Though I've done a few of their patterns and they have errors in them, but this was all Greek
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Old 11-08-2009, 10:18 PM
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I personally think that sex starved spinster home ec teachers make those patterns up to keep us as confused as they are. Uh, if there are any home ec teachers on this board, I am not giving you my home address hahaha.
Some patterns I've read actually make me wonder if recovering crack addicts have written them.
Seriously, a lot of them are written either with too many insane steps to make the pattern 'longer'. Or like the one you are dealing with- skipping to the middle of the page with the assumption you can connect the dots. If we could connect the dots, we wouldn't need the pattern.
Maybe the pattern testers are too 'like minded' to the creator of the pattern and don't see any problems.
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Old 11-09-2009, 02:27 AM
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I think it would be hard to find a can that size! I share your frustration with pattern directions. A lot of sewing is just intuitive. I just picked up a bunch of Butterick and McCall's baby patterns for 99cents to sew for my granddaughter.
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Old 11-09-2009, 03:39 AM
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The can is probably a tuna fish can. At least that is what the ones I have seen used.
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