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Thread: If you have a quilt laying around you don't want....

  1. #1
    Senior Member Rose S.'s Avatar
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    If you have a quilt laying around you don't want....

    I have been reading the thread Thank you for my gift, would you make me another....and actually think I read every single reply.

    Now this is almost the same thing, but thought I would start a new thread. A family member told me if I had a quilt that I didn't want, she would love to have it...I didn't say much if anything the first time. I was flabbergasted that someone had the nerve to ask for a quilt. Since then it has been mentioned two or three times.

    I so wish I had thought of some of the replies others used....I really liked
    1. What is wrong with just saying 'no.'
    2. I have so many projects already planned but I will put you on the list...but you go to the bottom
    3. Having her go with me to buy the fabric, batting, thread. I honestly doubt she would spend that much money...too used to buying those made in China.

    I just so wish I had thought of these answers...and I don't know why I didn't think to tell her there are all kinds of how to videos and books to read. She doesn't work...has never worked a job as far as a know. There is no reason she can't make one. She can sew and make clothes...she could easily learn how to quilt.
    Last edited by PatriceJ; 10-10-2014 at 11:11 PM.

  2. #2
    Super Member mom-6's Avatar
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    I hear ya!
    If you said you might, I'm sure she heard that as a yes I will. So turn that into yes I will show you how to do it yourself. . .

  3. #3
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    Your next statement could be, "You know, my to-do list is so long .... Would you like me to come fabric shopping with you and I'll give you some tips on making your own?"

  4. #4
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    Hehe, I like the idea of showing her how to do her own. If she can sew clothes she can certainly learn to sew her own quilt.

    What actually got me into quilting more seriously was a friend of mine just inviting me over to make a table runner. She taught me how to do it, and I was hooked! And all she showed me was how to do a DNP. But it is one of my favorite blocks still, and it was so fun to learn. It sounds like she has the time to do it if she wants as well. Who knows, maybe you could teach her her new favorite pass time!

  5. #5
    Super Member deedum's Avatar
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    Sometimes we get roped into projects so easily, been there myself! Yes, I think I would just take her fabric shopping, be sure to get quality batting, thread, pattern too! Then promptly let her know it just takes so much time to cut, sew and sandwich a quilt, then you either need to quilt it yourself which takes lots of practice before you can even start or send it out to a longarmer to be quilted at a price. Binding needs to go on also, and say "I just don't have the time to do it" "I suggest you try to make it or send it to someone who does this for a living"! Would that be mean? Unless of course, you just happened to have one laying around you don't want *a bit of sarcasm*?

    Oh and don't forget to buy a seam ripper, and she will most likely need that also LOL
    Last edited by deedum; 04-04-2013 at 07:51 PM.

  6. #6
    Super Member Sandygirl's Avatar
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    She said IF you have a quilt laying around? Uh, no, they have all found homes !

    If you are so inclined, make a table runner for a housewarming gift. IF you want to.

    Otherwise, dont respond. Silence is golden.
    Sandygirl
    Last edited by Sandygirl; 04-05-2013 at 03:28 AM.
    Sandygirl

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  7. #7
    Super Member HillCountryGal's Avatar
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    I believe non-quilters do not understand the amount of work that goes into making them.

    Maybe a local quilt shop or community college offers beginner classes... if so, you might pass that info on to her and say, you know, I really don't have time to make quilts for friends. Or have unloved ones to give away... why not have the fun of making your own?!

    When my Mother passed away some long lost kin-folk said, "I'd just love to have one of your Mother's quilts". My Dad told her what the going rate ($$$$) was for handmade quilts. That was the last we heard from her!

  8. #8
    Super Member hopetoquilt's Avatar
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    I may be off here but I would not be offended. It is likely that she has seen some of your gorgeous quilts and is completely oblivious to the expense and labor intensity of quilting. I think a direct reply is much more effective and necessary before i was offended. You need to decide if you want to make her one or teach her how to make one or do nothing (all of which is acceptable).

    if you make her one, require that she go with you to purchase all supplies (including thread, rotary blade, machine needles, templates/pattern/book, fabric, etc).

    If you want to teach her, require her to buy the above mentioned items while shopping with you and schedule the times convenient to you.

    if you don't want to do it, explain the cost, the time, and that you have other quilts you want to complete first.

    ANOTHER BRILLIANT OPTION... Bring her a how to make a rag quilt pattern and a charm pack as a gift and tell her since she sews she could do it.

  9. #9
    Super Member craftiladi's Avatar
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    Yes I have been nagged by some people and if I don't care for that person or think they are worthy of my time & hard work that's required for quilt making then I politely say "you know I am self taught, I bet you could teach yourself if you wanted"
    Dee Lowe
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  10. #10
    Super Member jcrow's Avatar
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    I would take her asking you for a quilt as a HUGE compliment. If I painted and someone asked if I had any paintings they could have, I would be so proud!

    You could offer to take a beginner's class WITH her. I did that with a friend and I learned a couple of new tricks and we had so much fun together! It didn't cost much and I used my stash. She thanked me over and over again for doing that for her. She said she felt too out of her element to take it by herself. I'm so glad I took it with her. Now she's a quilting machine.

    Try to stay positive. It's sad to look at our gift in a negative light. Keep it as a positive gift and remember we are gifted!
    "Be yourself...everyone else is taken."
    Strong people don't put others down...they build them up."
    "Remember that your instincts are more important than rules"

  11. #11
    Super Member wolph33's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jcrow View Post
    I would take her asking you for a quilt as a HUGE compliment. If I painted and someone asked if I had any paintings they could have, I would be so proud!

    You could offer to take a beginner's class WITH her. I did that with a friend and I learned a couple of new tricks and we had so much fun together! It didn't cost much and I used my stash. She thanked me over and over again for doing that for her. She said she felt too out of her element to take it by herself. I'm so glad I took it with her. Now she's a quilting machine.

    Try to stay positive. It's sad to look at our gift in a negative light. Keep it as a positive gift and remember we are gifted!
    well said. I am sure most who do not quilt really do not have a clue at the time and cost involved.I give quilts to my family but when I sell them I ask a fair but profitable price.
    http://www.etsy.com/shop/Upnorthcrafter

  12. #12
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    When you tell here he going price for fabric, thread, etc., I think she'll say 'Nevermind'. Also explain approx how many hours it takes to make one and that you don't have one 'laying' around. Every one that you make has a specific need in mind and the list is long and growing by leaps and bounds.

    I find that once someone gets a little 'hint' of what a quilt costs both in materials needed and time, they have a different outlook on having you 'whip' one up for them or having one 'laying' around.

    The idea about buying a charm pack and explaining to her how to make a rag quilt is also a good idea.
    aka Gale

  13. #13
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    I'd tell her you'd be happy to teach her to quilt and that all your quilts hold sentimental value for you so it would be hard to part with one. You just know she'll feel the same after she makes her first quilt.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by hopetoquilt View Post
    I may be off here but I would not be offended. It is likely that she has seen some of your gorgeous quilts and is completely oblivious to the expense and labor intensity of quilting. I think a direct reply is much more effective and necessary before i was offended. You need to decide if you want to make her one or teach her how to make one or do nothing (all of which is acceptable).

    If you make her one, require that she go with you to purchase all supplies (including thread, rotary blade, machine needles, templates/pattern/book, fabric, etc).

    If you want to teach her, require her to buy the above mentioned items while shopping with you and schedule the times convenient to you.

    if you don't want to do it, explain the cost, the time, and that you have other quilts you want to complete first.

    ANOTHER BRILLIANT OPTION... Bring her a how to make a rag quilt pattern and a charm pack as a gift and tell her since she sews she could do it.
    I think this is a wonderfu suggestion

  15. #15
    Senior Member pinkcastle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hopetoquilt View Post
    ANOTHER BRILLIANT OPTION... Bring her a how to make a rag quilt pattern and a charm pack as a gift and tell her since she sews she could do it.
    I think this is a terrific idea. Tell her you have too much on your plate right now. Giving her a gift of a pattern and some fabric would tell her that you aren't ignoring her request. You could offer to spend a day getting her started and teaching her some of the basics.

  16. #16
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    DNP?????? What is that?

  17. #17
    Super Member bjchad's Avatar
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    If someone asks me about making them a quilt and I care about them and usually give them gifts for birthdays and Xmas I usually tell them I will consider it for one of their presents. If it is someone who has no claim on me I tell them straight out how rude they are being. But then I'm a teacher and most of my requests of that type have come from my students.

  18. #18
    Power Poster nativetexan's Avatar
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    To teach her the basics is what I would have said, not to teach her to quilt. That could take forever. Just explain it's a very expensive "hobby" and she could make her own.my hubby always asks me who i'm giving a completed quilt to. No one at the moment. our finances are tight and I may need to sell some of them one day!

  19. #19
    Senior Member Sophie2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wintersewer View Post
    DNP?????? What is that?
    Disappearing Nine Patch
    Sophie2

  20. #20
    Senior Member kraftykimberly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wintersewer View Post
    DNP?????? What is that?
    Disappearing Nine Patch
    Don't compromise even if it hurts to be yourself. Toby Keith

  21. #21
    Super Member Buckeye Rose's Avatar
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    Considering how rude it was of her to beg for a quilt, I don't think I could be very polite in telling her no, I don't have any laying around and I don't do freebies for someone who can make their own!

  22. #22
    Super Member IrishNY's Avatar
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    My response in that situation is always " I would be happy to teach you how." That usually ends the conversation.

    My other stock answer is "I can't keep up with the baby quilts in my family so couldn't possibly commit to any other projects." then offer the first response again.

    My nice way of saying no.
    I'd rather be at the lake

    Do one thing every day that scares you... Eleanor Roosevelt

  23. #23
    Power Poster MadQuilter's Avatar
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    She is hinting and you can easily be deaf to hints.

    If you like her you could decide to make her a quilt for the cabin. It sounds like she would appreciate it. Until then just use the "long list ahead of you" response to side-step the issue. If they don't ask directly then you don't have to answer directly.
    Martina
    Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Fabric!

  24. #24
    Super Member Lori S's Avatar
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    I agree with the others that suggested you offer to "teach" her to make her own. If she has sewn garments its not to hard to figure out how to make a quilt. Offer a "jump start " session.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Chester the bunny's Avatar
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    Where I run into a problem is that most of my quilts are for community projects. (Cancer Clinic / Foster Care ect...)
    so when people find out that you are giving them away, they don't understand why you wouldn't give THEM one.
    Thank goodness I have dozens of UFOs that I want to finish and can't possibly start anything new )

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