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Thread: A LAQ dilemma

  1. #1
    Senior Member germanquilter's Avatar
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    A LAQ dilemma

    I am a piecer/topper when it comes to making quilts. I love to pick colors, patterns, design and make quilt tops. When it comes to sandwiching and quilting a quilt, I gladly send it on to my LAQ who happens to also be a friend of mine. Here is where my dilemma comes in. My LAQ just had back surgery two weeks ago and will not be able to quilt until at least the end of January. I have several quilts ready to go and two are baby gifts needed in January. I am contemplating of sending the two I need to get done to another LAQ, a lady I also know. However, I know from past experience that my original LAQ gets really personally offended when you use someone else. She actually "de-friended" someone who did that! Do I go ahead and sent the baby quilts off and not tell her (I will wait for her to get better on the other projects)? She has offered for me to use her LA while she is down to quilt my own quilts but I have tried it and just don't care for the whole process I am not very hand-eye coordinated and barely can stipple my small wall hangings/ table toppers. I hate to put a damper on our friendship but I also need those baby quilts done.

  2. #2
    Super Member hperttula123's Avatar
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    I would tell her and let her know that you need them before she will be ready to quilt. That way, she doesn't find out later that you hid it. Longarm quilting isn't for everyone and you shouldn't be forced to do it if you don't like it.
    enjoy your life...it's the only one you have!!!
    Heather

  3. #3
    Power Poster dunster's Avatar
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    I would already be very uncomfortable having a "friend" who ended another friendship based on not receiving that friend's business.

  4. #4
    Super Member carolaug's Avatar
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    if its a baby quilt can you just sew straight lines on your sewing machine...that is the curent modern style and its very easy....you keep the dogfeed up...use a walking foot and your on your way...

  5. #5
    Power Poster ckcowl's Avatar
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    all relationships are best if based on honesty- i would let her know (better she didn't find out later from someone else) that you need the quilts right away and have no interest in doing them yourself-so those 2 you are sending elsewhere.
    i do not understand people who base their friendships on (business)
    i am a long-armer and have many times recommended someone else when someone has brought me or called me about a quilt that i do not have time to do- or if i have a couple ahead of them i let them know- ...'i would not be able to get to your quilt until...but if you need it done before then - here, call.... or .... i give out other quilter's business cards- have always considered it a business where it is most benificial when everyone works together- i've received calls from people who have said to me---' i usually use....but she is going on vacation & told me to call you to see if you have time....' and other calls too---the (other quilter) knows i also give out her name- and has not qualms about sending me customers when she can not get one done.
    hiding away in my stash where i'm warm, safe and happy

  6. #6
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    I would ask her what you should do. Maybe she would have a good suggestion.

    But, I also do not understand this type of friendship.

    If you want to keep the friendship, maybe tie the quilts yourself? Or, I did this a while back, I used a decorative stitch and stitched in the center of each block to "tack" it down. Worked pretty good.

    Since they are baby quilts, why not put a pretty thread in and using the walking foot, do a ziq zag stitch, either on the seams or just spaced 3 inches apart on the quilt.

  7. #7
    Super Member Jan in VA's Avatar
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    Do not allow critical, demanding, manipulative people in your life. Their acceptance of you is only conditional, never true. People who do not wish to be happy can not be made happy by your actions.

    Jan in VA
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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jan in VA View Post
    Do not allow critical, demanding, manipulative people in your life. Their acceptance of you is only conditional, never true. People who do not wish to be happy can not be made happy by your actions.

    Jan in VA

    I am in this camp also. Based just on what you have told us, this does not seem to be a true friendship. Why are you struggling when you need the work done. Don't ask permission and don't try to quilt yourself if you are not comfortable doing it. And don't be afraid to tell her what you have done.

  9. #9
    Super Member sewingsuz's Avatar
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    Jan and sewmary are absolutely correct. Don't do this. i have let people do these thing to me and it just makes me sad when people treat me badly.
    Suzanne
    Asking a seamstress to mend is like asking Picasso to paint your garage.

  10. #10
    Super Member IrishNY's Avatar
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    If it were me, I would send them out to the person you know can finish them and let the conseqences play out. If the first woman believes that the world should stop because she had surgery, I wouldn't place a lot of value on her friendship.

    However, if it's important for you to stay in her good graces for some reason, I would call her and offer her the chance to quilt your tops with the deadline that must be met. If she turns them down because she can't physically do it, then you can take them to the other person with a clear conscience.
    I'd rather be at the lake

    Do one thing every day that scares you... Eleanor Roosevelt

  11. #11
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    I would take the approach of asking her if she can recommend someone being she can not do them in time. This allows her to have a say in them.

    You never know- maybe while she is out on her back - she will do some hand quilting. As you can tell - I've done neither.

  12. #12
    Senior Member JenelTX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jan in VA View Post
    Do not allow critical, demanding, manipulative people in your life. Their acceptance of you is only conditional, never true. People who do not wish to be happy can not be made happy by your actions.

    Jan in VA
    Jan, often when you post, I think, "She is so wise." Well said.
    Jenel Looney
    Assistant to Susan Mallery
    New York Times bestselling author

  13. #13
    Super Member Lisa_wanna_b_quilter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JenelTX View Post
    Jan, often when you post, I think, "She is so wise." Well said.
    I second this one.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by hperttula123 View Post
    I would tell her and let her know that you need them before she will be ready to quilt. That way, she doesn't find out later that you hid it. Longarm quilting isn't for everyone and you shouldn't be forced to do it if you don't like it.
    I agree!!! Friends serve different purposes in our lives so this is your quilting friend who also does LAQ!!!

  15. #15
    Power Poster dunster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JenelTX View Post
    Jan, often when you post, I think, "She is so wise." Well said.

    Hey, I said it first (if not so succinctly)! I want to be the wise one, LOL!!!

  16. #16
    Super Member Jan in VA's Avatar
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    Jenel, Lisa, Dunster, you all are so silly! Dunster, you are welcome to be the wise one, I'm not all that comfortable with recognition, LOL!
    Thank you all anyway.

    This particular piece of wisdom was hard learned and I admit it has taken me 60-some years to really get it down into my being to the place where I quickly recognize these people and refuse to give them influence in my life. Sadly it also includes my father, still alive at 90, but who has been 'telling' me for 55 years that he didn't want to be the father of his children, even though I tried to please him all that time.

    Jan in VA
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  17. #17
    Senior Member germanquilter's Avatar
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    Thank you everyone for your advice. I think I will talk to her and let her know that I need these quilts done by mid-January and I don't want to LA them myself.

    Jan, I do value this friendship and this is really the only complaint I have about my friend. Her attitude sort of changed the past year when she started doing LAQ as a full-time business/ source of income and not just a side business/hobby. She and I are part of a quilting group that gets together frequently. She is also a part-time quilt teacher and has taught me so much over the past 5 years.

  18. #18
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    Wow!! Such good suggestions. I would contact your LAQ and tell her your deadlines and she what her response is. Then if she can't get to them when you need them. Tell her you will find someone else to quilt these but have some for her to quilt when she is ready. Then see how things play out. Good luck!

  19. #19
    Super Member quiltingfan's Avatar
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    Why not just send them out. If she ask tell her, then when she gets upset, look at her and tell her she is being immature, selfish and that that is not the way friends treat each other. Then see what she says. if she gets huffy at least you have someone else that can quilt your quilts. I am like Jan. I have found that we just need to be nice to others and expect that others will be nice to us. If they aren't then walk away with no regrets.

  20. #20
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    This sounds like an adult and professional attitude. Kudos to you.
    Quote Originally Posted by ckcowl View Post
    all relationships are best if based on honesty- i would let her know (better she didn't find out later from someone else) that you need the quilts right away and have no interest in doing them yourself-so those 2 you are sending elsewhere.
    i do not understand people who base their friendships on (business)
    i am a long-armer and have many times recommended someone else when someone has brought me or called me about a quilt that i do not have time to do- or if i have a couple ahead of them i let them know- ...'i would not be able to get to your quilt until...but if you need it done before then - here, call.... or .... i give out other quilter's business cards- have always considered it a business where it is most benificial when everyone works together- i've received calls from people who have said to me---' i usually use....but she is going on vacation & told me to call you to see if you have time....' and other calls too---the (other quilter) knows i also give out her name- and has not qualms about sending me customers when she can not get one done.

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