Has anyone else had the experience of not be thanked for the gift of a quilt????? This has happened to me three times!! Do non-quilters have any idea of the work and thought and time that goes into the process from the beginning to the last stitch????

I've always received a thank you. But, I don't really think non-quilters have a clue.

I don't think non-quilter's have any idea. But, if they make clothes or something like that, they have a hint of the time and thought going into one. But...only a hint. I've heard it takes more patience to make a bed size quilt than an ensemble. But, since I don't sew, I don'thave a clue about that!!

Pal, I am a very beginner quilter, and to be fully honest with you, I had no clue about all the work involved in making a quilt. I could see that they are pretty, and I guess assumed it took work, but never really knew what went into it, UNTIL I started learning about it and made my first wall hanging, which was a lot of work, can not imagine the work for a bed quilt.
I am so sorry that people you gifted quilts to did not appreciate it, I would immensly :-)

I dont think most people have a clue as to how much work goes into a quilt and not to mention expense. i think most people think that homemade items are made to save money but the opposite is mostly true and it often costs at least twice as much as a commercially bought one.
I recently made my niece a diaper bag and a baby blanket and put a lot of thought and work into it. i made a lovely label and hand embroidered his name etc. The only thanks i got was from her mum (my sister inlaw) and all she said was Naomi said thanks for the gifts. That was all. It would have been nice to receive a thankyou card from my niece and maybe even a photo of her and the baby as i also bought a book and a soft toy. I should have not expected that as for her 21st my mum and i went halves in a gold bracelet for her and i have never been thanked for that either.
I usually dont make quilts for other people unless they admire what i am doing and then i usually make them a gift for a special occasion as i am fully aware that non quilters dont always want or like quilts but that is their choice. I was just hurt that my niece couldnt even send a card herself to say thankyou.

I have to agree with everyone else too!! You can't imgaine all of the time, work & expense that goes into any quilt, unless you have made one yourself. I only make quilts as gifts for my family members & dear friends that I know will appreciate them. It is very disappoingting to give a hand made gift of love & not get a thank you in return. Because I love to sew so much I keep making them anyway!! :D

I do not think non quilters have any idea how much time----and money!!!!----go into the making of a quilt. BUT--every quilt I have made and given as a gift was very much appreciated. My granddaughters drag theirs all over the house--they are always snuggling under one somewhere. My kids love theirs and want more! My mother in law actually cried when I gave her one--said it was her most treasured gift ever. I made a chicken quilt for a friend recently and she was absolutely speechless. And I have family members and friends who claim they are waiting in line for a quilt!! So, even though they are clueless as to the amount of work--I do feel loved and appreciated for my gifts.

I am sorry Pal, that your time and work has gone unappreciated.

I knowhow it feels, I made a quilt for my girlfriend and she offered to pay me. Well she gave me $20.00 I had hand quilted it at that. It is a good thing I enjoyed doing it but I see it now and it is not really being cared for, You would think she got it at salvation army. It hurts my feelings but I don't say anything after all it is hers now to do with as she pleases. I just won't make her any more.

This just happened to me! I spent a lot of time (and money!) creating a wedding quilt for my cousin's son and didn't even get an acknowledgement that they received it. Don't think I'll be making a baby quilt when the time comes. But usually the people I've made quilts for have been so appreciative. My daughters both love theirs and use them all the time, my aunt uses hers sparingly so as not to "ruin it", but keeps it on display. Got one back when my dad died, but he used it all the time. There are others... :lol: (too many to mention) who also have appreciated theirs and that just tickles me to death!

I'm selective who I make them for. Nonquilters for the most part have no clue. I would rather give them to a homeless shelter or Linus. That way I am not expecting a thank you.

I've experienced degrees of gratitude. Anywhere from, "oh.... thanks," as it gets shoved back in the box, to "OMGosh! That's beautiful!" accompanied by kisses and hugs.

And I have certainly experienced the "have no concept of time, effort and money that went into the quilt", too. The ones willing to pay for the work, know about the work. Others must think you have a magic wand and can conjure one up in a day.

It's very discouraging. But if you think about the people, you can almost know who's going to appreciate it and who won't. For example, my brother would much rather buy a "bed in a bag" every 2 years than have a quilt that would last years and years. My sister on the other hand, would rather have the home made quilt. But she knits, so she has a clue.

My daughter made a baby quilt for her husband's aunt when she had one of her children. I thought my daughter did a nice job with it, but the aunt did nothing but complain about it. Not about the workmanship on it, but because it was home made. She told her flat out that she would never use it. I thought that was so rude of her. She said that she was afraid it would come apart and her child would get hurt with it. Needless to say, my daughter never made another thing for her. The aunt is one of those people that if it isn't store bought, it must be trashy.

My son, on the other hand, loves what I make for him. I made him a quilt close to ten years ago and sent it out to be quilted. Well, the quilting stitches have started to come out of it. Since then I got my own longarm and this past Xmas I made him another one. I asked him about the first one I made him and told him that I will fix the quilting in it. I had hoped that he wouldn't have already thrown it away. When I mentioned that, he told me that he would never throw it away no matter how bad it got. So I know that anything I make for him he will keep.

Barb

Im sorry to say I won't give any more of mine to my mother. She has 2 of them, one is a show quilt that I hand quilted. She used huge nails, lots of them to hang them on her walls. I was beyond speechless when I saw this. What made me so angry is that she makes quilts too, or at least the tops. Now, those 2 quilts have huge holes and rust rings all over them. Irrepairable damage. Lots of people at work, one lady in particular keep asking me how much I'd charge to make a quilt. I quote the cost of fabric plus 250.00. She wants to pay 50.00 and I buy the fabs, no way! well, she'll get her chance at one of mine but for a good cause next Christmas. I'm making a donation quilt out of Pepsi driver shirts that we will raffle off to make money for our adopt-a-family we do each Christmas. She can buy 50.00 worth of raffle tickets and take her chances.

People don't see it as the investment it is.

It's a shame that we've become such a fast-paced society and few recognize the value of these items.

Wow, some of you have had some real rude reactions to your hard work. I had no idea the work that goes in to a quilt, so I know that no one else does either.

The friends I made a baby quilt for recently did not acknowledge the gift. I had to get my brother to give it to them as I couldn't visit on the day they invited us. I had to email and ask if they opened it, only then did I get a thank you. Feel so deflated that all that hard work I put into it and I didn't even get a phone call to say thanks.

I think Kara and Mary are right - you should pick and choose who gets a quilt! But despite all this, the actual making of a quilt is so enjoyable and rewarding and we should all be proud of ourselves, even if others are not so impressed (I'd like to see them try it!!!)

I do not give quilts for wedding gifts anymore the first one the couple got ab annulment within 6 months and the second I never did get a thank you for and just to much work to give to people that does not care now I put them in a shop for sale and just sold another last week at least I know they are wanted and cared for just my oppinion

Well I think that if you have given someone something they should at least say thankyou, if they don´t then they would not get another. I gave my Son´s last girlfriend of 5 years a set of really nice white gold jewellery and I never got a thank you. Bet she wondered what happened this year because she got nothing!!!!

Elle

A girlfriend said to me once to never give quilts as a gift b/c it's nott on the registry is for.

Another one is begging me to make one for her daughter. I guess you'll just have to pick and choose who to give it to.

I go wandering thru craft shows, etc., and am awed by the prices. On my budget, I can't afford most earrings, much less a quilt. And for so long I thought they just charged outrageous prices because it was "hand crafted" and they could. Then I learned to quilt. Even with cheap fabric and tying a quilt, there is a LOT of money in it...so a good quilt, quilted by hand or machine, is worth big bucks. I have made several tied quilts out of good fabric. I have only given two away...one to my son, who doesn't use it "because he's afraid he'll ruin it" so it lays over in a corner folded up. I don't know what the grandson did with his. I am told he uses it and really likes it. And he did thank me as if he liked it (at only 13 years old). His was painstakingly done to replace a little blanket he carried around as a kid until it was in rags...and probably still has. John Deere. Beautiful quilt. But I truly have no one to give one to who would appreciate it. I did, however, sell one to a friend. Actually, my quilt teacher/friend sold it to her...I could not have charged her for it and would not have known what to charge. It was a simple but beautiful quilt as you go string quilt with a beautiful back (two sided, actually). She paid $300 for it and she cherishes it...won't even let her hubby get romantic till she takes it off the bed! I cherish my quilts. Unfortunately, I don't know anyone else who would.

I made a quilt for my niece's birthday. Yes, it took a long time and it was late, but I really put a lot of effort into this quilt. It now sits, for about 2 months now, on the quilt rack in my sewing room waiting to be picked up. I'm seriously wishing I had the nerve to email her mother (my snotty sister) that it has been abandoned and reverts back to me. I won't call her as she feels she needs to lecture me every time I speak with her.

Wow, I thought it was just me?

About 9 or 10 years ago I made 2 quilt tops, one for my husband's parents and the other for his brother and his wife as Christmas presents.
These where the second and 3rd quilts tops I had ever made and not wanting to try and quilt them myself or knowing about LAQs I drove them 2 hours away to be hand quilted by a Mennonite women. I was very happy with how the tops turned out and ecstatic on how they looked all put together once I got them back.
When the family opened the gifts on Christmas the enthusiasm was under-whelming, I could have bought my brother/sister in law a new coffee makers and gotten the same reaction, 'tho my Mother in law was a bit more enthusiastic.
I was upset and a bit pissed and didn't make another quilt top for years.

Now I'm careful who I give hand-made projects to, I do have 2 quilts at a LAQ's being finished for me, they're going to my friend's 2 daughters, but I know both my friend and the girls will appreciate the quilts and take care of them.
I think it really depends person-to-person on whether someone will appreciate any hand made gift.
Zoo

Each of my kids were given a quilt, when they moved out to their own place the quilts went with them. My kids all saw me sewing, they saw the time it took to put a top together, and the hours spent hand quilting, so they had some appreciation of the work that goes into a quilt.

One day I went to visit my oldest son and his wife, as I pulled into their driveway I saw his quilt laying on the ground. His wife had used it to put the baby on outside, instead of bringing it back in she left it there. It had been rained on repeatedly, and was covered in mud because their dog had dragged it across the yard and was using it to lay on when the dog was tied out.

When I found the words, I asked if that was my son's quilt, his wife casually stated, 'oh yes, it's old so I just let the dog have it." :shock:

Needless to say I won't be making another quilt to replace that one. I did make my oldest granddaughter a quilt and it was washed in hot water with bleach....

So no, non quilters have no clue how much time, money and love goes into a quilt.

I do get my thanks But nonquilters really do not realize what time and effort plus money that goes into a quilt small or large. Most in my experience think because you use a machine it doesn't take no time at all. They can't believe it takes sometimes months to finish one. Depending on the size and complexity and time involved. So I just tell them if you think it is so quick and easy I will be willing to instruct you on a small simple quilt. After i get through explaining most get the picture but some don't.
Bill'sBonBon

I echo a lot of the sentiments above. People just have no idea how much work and money goes into a quilt. Because of that I pic and choose who gets quilts for presents.

I made a quilt for my college roommate for her wedding (my avatar pic). I knew she would appreciate it and I got her involved. She picked out the pattern and the colors then I made her go on the Kansas City Metro Area quilt shop hop to find the fabric. She is arts and crafty so she didn't hate quilt shopping all day. She was flabbergasted at the prices!

My standard baby gift is a rag time flannel. They take a little less work and can be cheaper. Most of the time I get a huge response at the shower. How much use they get in the real world not sure.

I made a simple split rail alternating with a wide panel to showcase some pretty fabric quilt for my newest great nephew (where is that kid- he was due the 6th!). My sister knew I made it and told her DIL. They refuse to use it, they bought hangers and put it on the wall. I told her it was made to be used, but she refuses to use it because it's so nice. I'm making another quilt- made to be used- out of scraps, backed with fleece so she won't think it needs to be saved. This is my sister, 15 mos. younger than me, who I am very close to.

To be perfectly fair, NO! They don't realize it, because they can buy hand-quilted queen sized quilts at JCPenney for $29.99.

About 20 years ago, my MIL called me about 6 months after I had given her a bed quilt to tell me that she hadn't properly appreciated it. She had just come home from an Amish quilt sale and finally realized that there was a significant financial value to my gift. (she had already appreciated the kind gesture, but she hadn't understood that this was an "expensive" gift, if you know what I mean.)

Now, her house is draped in every quilt I have ever given her. She has tablerunners over the backs of chairs as well as on the tables, wall quilts, lap quilts...

But prior to that, she had only been able to compare them to what she saw in stores. And when you can buy entire bed-in-a-bag sets for under $40 at Walmart, how was she to know any different??

Please note that I did not turn my response into a rant against the CPSIA and imported products. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Obviously, the answer is no. BUT, in all fairness, I have no idea how much work goes into a hand made wooden table, and probably would not give it the proper amount of appreciation, either. Not because I don't appreciate the gift and giver, but because I just do not understand.
The trick here is to be selective as to receipient AND to educate those who will listen.
Like Cathe said, all it takes most times is to open someone's eyes. In our disposable/cheaply made culture, a homemade quilt is just not ABLE to be appreciated by someone who can go and buy one at Wally World for under $20.
It does hurt, though, when you pour your heart into something only to have it mistreated, almost like someone mistreating you.

Loretta...

Love your new avatar!

I'm sorry that sometimes you don't get the demonstrated appreciation for your quilts. I can only imagine how that must feel. No one else in my family quilts, but they all know the love and pride that goes into hand crafting something for someone else for it is something that we all do, in one medium or another. I feel truly blessed when I receive handcrafted gifts and I know for sure that those I give gifts to do as well.

I received an email from my cousin this afternoon, late only because she went on a two week vacation the day after Christmas. In part she said "I LOVE LOVE LOVE my quilt! Thank you SO MUCH for such a beautiful gift! I napped with it on Christmas day and can't wait to watch a game or two under it now that I'm back at home. What a thoughtful and generous gift. It's one that will keep on giving in so many ways. I'm inspired!
(Real thank you to follow, but...)" Made me feel just great!

I'm sure many of the recipients of the quilts you make and give, feel the same way. They just don't know how to tell you. It is no reflection on either you or your workmanship.

People are used to buying quilts for $29 or $39 that are made with slave labor. I used to buy them myself and must admit they are not bad so I understand why people dont appreciate what we spend so much time and money on. The only thing bad about them is the quilting, its not as nice as a professional quilter would do.
I make my own now as I am hooked on quilting as a hobby. I gave up sewing clothes yrs ago because it was cheaper to buy them.
I have been making lap quilts for the last 4 years since they are not for sale in stores. Bed size I send out as its just to much to handle on a regular sewing machine.
I give away most of my laps and they get used alot since they fit nicely on the back of a couch. Not as expensive to make either. Its nice to see Chistmas quilts I have made come out each yr.

we were watching Antiques Roadshow last night and it occurred to me that in the last 50 years very little has been made that is a 'treasure'...

there are a gazillion furniture stores - one on every corner, full of pressed-wood furniture that is pitched out in the trash, and something new gotten - look at 'Rooms to Go', the way they advertise you should replace your furniture every 6 months or so - get tired of it? buy new

All kinds of glassware, dishes, silverware - very inexpensive - use it for a year or so - pitch it - get new, break it? don't worry about it, you can get a whole new set for $9.99

tired of the color scheme in your bathroom or bedroom? run to wallyworld and get a whole new 'look' for under two hundred dollars - no big deal..

have you watched "House Hunters" lately? talk about spoiled people - "oh, we need at least 2500 square feet for the FOUR of us"... sickening... and then they walk through and make nasty remarks about the flooring - "oh this tile/linoleum/whatever has to go and the cabinets are terrible" - we'd rip those out right away - then they spend more on refurbishing than we spent on our HOUSE!

it's into that mindset that you are gifting a quilt - and it would be the same with a painting or handblown glass - it doesn't mean anymore than the blanket from wallyworld...

sad commentary - and look at the current world-wide crises - all because we've raised a generation that expects to throw away and replace at the drop of a hat - and the whole thing comes tumbling down if they don't....

I was raised by people who survived the depression - we learned to make something last - I still have problems throwing away something that "might come in handy someday" :lol: .....

You are so right.
My mother grew up during the depression and it stayed with her all her life.
I think we are heading into another one now. Some hard lessons the younger generation has to learn.
Those shows make me sick. Such a waste and the ecologial damage it does. My own kitchen isnt as nice as some of the ones they tear out and dont even recyle.

I am so glad to hear some of your comments.. my house is 900 sq ft and I just love it, but we have 4 adults living in it. My son and dil live with us to share costs and help care for me on my bad days. My husband can fix anything and I can cook anything from scratch. My son and DIL cook from mixes and cans, and everything is replaceable. Last night he went to groc store and came home with $167 worth of DVD's. I was appalled! Their money, their choices - but their stuff is all so temporary/disposable.

Ah well, we definitely have a generation gap in our house. DH was born during the Great Depression and I was raised by parents who were dirt poor.

I had no idea what went into making a quilt til I started quilting. All my quilts have gone to my kids (they live with me and know how much work and money I put into the quilts). This Christmas was the first time I gave quilts to anyone who didn't live in my house. My soon to be SIL loved his quilt and thanks me often for it. His family wanted him to store the quilt because they felt a quilt made by hand should be a family heirloom. DD explained I would be offended if he didn't use it. I had to promise I would fix it or replace it if it was damaged in anyway. Silly boy. I made my dad a wall hanging that was a family tree. It's hanging on the most prominent wall in his house and he carries a picture of it to show everyone. It would be the last quilt I made someone if they didn't even thank me. My feelings would be sooooo hurt.

I made a wall hanging for my mom & sister for Christmas 2007. They said it was nice and thanked me. But I really do have the feeling that it has just gone into the closet, folded and forgotten. If that's the case, I would love to get it back and give it to someone who has a daschund and would love the quilt. Oh well.....I won't make that mistake again. It IS a lot of work.

This is the quilt I made for them - my first attempt at machine applique and fell in love with it!

Shoot, where did my quilt picture go????

Don't you hate when that happens. I'm sure it's my computer, not me. LOL :lol: :lol: :lol:

I have been extremely lucky in my quilt-gifting, I suppose. I have made and gifted quilts to four of my daughter's college friends (she graduated in 2000, so these are friends for life) and each and every one of them thanked me profusely. One later asked about cleaning; he had been taking his quilt to the professional cleaners - he was thrilled when I said he could throw it in the washer & dryer. Another had an aged and ill dog that liked to sleep with her, so her quilt was put away until after the dog passed on, but now it is on her bed. The third brought her quilt to a weekend get-together that this gang has each summer so she could brag about it. The fourth has told me several times how much her quilt fits her color scheme in her bedroom.

I'm in the process of finishing up a fifth one. See, I'm putting off - no, practicing up for - the eleven quilts I need to make for the grands.

These kids all just so appreciate my thinking about them and taking the time to make something especially for them. In fact, two of the fellas were with us on the last trip to Joanns, and I came home with a surprise in one of my bags . . .a quilting calculator. So I know they appreciate their quilts!

I agree with all the comments. No, people don't appreciate the work, time and money that goes into them. When I was a teenager, my GF's wife gave me a quilt that she had hand made. Of course, I thanked her and even did send the written thank you note..but I didn't appreciate it. I folded it up neatly and put it in the top of my closet. With her encouragement, I started to learn to quilt in 06 and that quilt finally came out of the closet and is loved for how beautiful it is. I personally have only given 2 baby quilts (which were loved..I know because now the Mom's sister wants to buy one from me) and quilts to Linus...I know those are appreciated and don't expect a thanks.