Feel like I'm going to be sick...
 

Last week my aunt called me out of the blue (after not talking to them in 13 years, we've never been close) she said she was visiting my uncle (my mom has two brothers so he's her BIL) and saw the quilts I made for him and his wife and LOVED LOVED them, and asked if I'd repair a quilt for her that my grandmother (her MIL) made MANY years ago (probably in the 50's maybe? She has no clue when it was made and doesn't even have her name on it which is odd so we think it might have been one of her first quilts, which might mean way older than the 50's) I got it in the mail yesterday (sent in just a thin bad padded envelope that was torn open (and it was pouring rain, thankfully I met the mail driver and got it right from her with no damage or even rain drops on it!! sigh. I'll be sending it back in a plastic bag in a box)) I have her permission to do whatever I want to it. I was originally thinking of patching with some solids (there are solids in the fabrics) but once I looked the whole back is in ok shape, so I might patch with bits of the back fabric, then patch with the solids on the back where they won't be as noticeable since everyone always looks at the front more. The binding is frayed on the whole thing so I might have to do all new binding. Not sure if there is enough of the back to do binding too, probably not it's fairly small and I don't want to pick the whole sandwich apart to use the whole panel I won't chance further damage to the front! It's in pretty bad shape, like bad bad.

But looking at this fragile old thing (and thinking of my grandmother who passed away in 08, and was the one who taught me to sew/quilt when I was little) and thinking of cutting into it and trying to do something I've NEVER done before makes me want to puke.

I just need to reassurance that I can do this, and even if it's not great, the end result will still be loved. But man, my heart....

You can do this. I was asked to do repair on a quilt once. Too many pieces were deteriorating. One thing I wish I had thought to do- press the quilt as best I could. That would have put the pieces into shape rather than scrunched and pulled

good luck with this project of love. Think of Grandma with every stitch you do 😊❣️

Your grandma willl be there watching over you and guiding your hand. You can do this...take your time and a deep breath or two and then start in.

1) You absolutely can do this
2) Applique
3) maybe redo the backing, quilting and binding

4) your absentee relative will probably not fully appreciate the work involved. (Not that most people really do) but especially since she just jammed it into an inadequate envelope. But you can honor your GRANDMOTHER. Even if your relative sounds....kinda like a "Wedding and Funeral" family member

exactly, the last time I saw/talked to her was at my grandfather's funeral in 2010.

And thank you everyone! I needed the lift. I'm still scared to make the first cut, but I think I'll be ok. haha.

I think this is a very exciting thing you get to do. I haven't any quilty ancestors but love imagining the stories behind old quilts. The process of handling this heirloom and engaging with your grandmother's work will be a beautiful journey for you. Enjoy the experience and the connection to your past!

I am going to be the "downer" on this thread.

If you WANT to do this - good luck and God Bless You!

However, if you are feeling like you have been backed into a corner, you can always say something like "This quilt has given long and faithful service. I think we should honor it by retiring it."

And then return it to her, properly packaged!

If you have already agreed to try to fix/restore/repair it - you can tell her that after looking the quilt over again carefully, that it would be more work than you anticipated and that it is not in your best interest to tackle the job - ever.

If you want to go the extra mile, you can give her suggestions for other people that might consider doing the job.

I'm with BearIsGray on this one.

IMHO, this is a very risky task to take on, GardenGirl1331.
Not just for the age and fragility of this quilt, but by whom you have been asked.

From what you said, you have no true trust/confidence/relationship with this person.
To me, that also says, you don't know how sincere she was about your decisions and the outcome.

She clearly did not say to you ... Here's the quilt. I don't want it. Do as you want, as it will mean more to you. I never want to see it again!

It's risky! If she is not happy with the results, there may be more hard feelings than you would like, want or need. And more familial distance created, despite your best efforts.

While your ♥ may be in it for your Grandmother, I would caution you to really think ... is it worth it?

Good Luck ... whatever your decision is.

I'm with the naysayers on this. I would let her know that it is in too bad of shape for it to be repaired. Then ask if she wants it back or if she wants you not to bother returning it. If it is the latter, then you can keep the quilt as it is, as a memory of your Grandmother. If she wants it back then you can know that your Grandmother is most certainly agreeing with you, in spirit, not to try to repair it, and not being upset with you over someone who you are not close to and hasn't talked to you in 13 years. Who knows, maybe she suddenly found it in the attic after who knows how many years and wants you to fix it so she can sell it as an antique.... just saying.

I have repaired old quilts with applique. But its not easy and I wasn't really thrilled with the outcome. Do you think there is enough good spots to make pillows out of? that would be a way to keep the memory and a tangible memory

I've know folks to choose not to save the quilt, but to repurpose it. you may find sections of it that don't really need much repair work that can be cut and framed for a wall hanging, or maybe turned into a few doll quilts for grandkids, so everyone has a piece of the memory. perhaps think outside the quilt-y box!.

If you do decide to repair this quilt, consider adding a hanging sleeve on the back so it may be hung and displayed rather than used. Best of luck to you, however you decide to tackle this project!

My 2 cents: Your Grandmother's quilt came in the mail in an inadequate package and could have been further damaged.

What does this tell you? If the quilt was loved and precious to you, wouldn't you treat it with care when you sent it to be repaired?

Before you move forward and repair this quilt putting in many hours, and most importantly your heart and memories of your grandmother......ask yourself this.. Will the quilt be treated with care ....after you send it back to your aunt? Only you can answer the questions and decide what you feel is best.

Well I think the reason it's so beat up is because she uses it all the time. She claims she has it on the couch (chair or something) so when she's cold she just grabs it and uses it. I was worried about using the back to patch the front since it's the same fabric but on closer looking the back fabric has seen a LOT less light, so it's still a lot darker so the patches match but don't match. She just wants to be able to keep using it as a lap quilt and doesn't really care how it comes out, she says it's so comfy she loves using it (and I do see where she or someone has tried to fix a hole here and there and the fabric didn't hold, which is why I plan on patching instead of trying to sew up anything like it, but I've never done applique. I did just try to do a quilt with circles appliqued on it and am in the process or very very slowly quilting it now and it came out ok, and I have some minor experience patching clothes). Looking closer at the binding I'm thinking I might be able to only replace 2-3 parts of it where it's worn more than just the frayed edge and then do a zigzag or (sorry my brain isn't working this am the stitches you use to sew up the raw edges of clothes I can't remember the name right now) stitch around the whole thing once those places are covered. For some reason my grandmother didn't quilt a whole lot of it, so to protect all the edges of the fabric near the seams where they all were pieced I plan on doing a zigzag to quilt it to make it stronger (the parts she did quilt are all done with a zigzag so it'll at least match the style).

I was asked the same thing for a friend. After looking at it, I deemed it unrepairable and offered to make a copy of the pattern. It will last the recipient a lot longer than the worn one. This was also a grandmother quilt, but it has lived its life and needs to be retired. Hopefully, the replacement will be recieved favorably.

I don't really understand the rationale of repairing an old quilt. The quilt can be treasured as it is, while being retired from use out of respect, both for its provenance and for the fact that it has been well used. This, to me, would be preferable to putting new repairs on a worn quilt.

It strikes me, since this relative 'loved loved' the quilts you made for your uncle, that maybe she was hoping you would say, 'I'm not comfortable with the idea of repairing a quilt, but I'd be happy to make you one.'

Of course, that would be separate from the question of whether you would be happy to make her one, and what your terms would be.

first part yes I agree, I don't think I'd personally repair an old quilt. I don't really like the looks of repaired quilts since it changes everything. I did tell her the patches will REALLY stand out and she didn't care.

And yeah my very first thought was she was trying to get a new quilt out of me, but I will not offer to do that. If she asks I'm not sure I want to. My other aunt and uncle have always been very nice, supportive etc and treat my mom (who has severe mental health issues) with respect and kindness. I planned on making a new quilt for our bed and after doing a queen size for my niece who just moved in with her boyfriend I thought better of it. I just can't do big quilts with my own health anymore. So I took the already bought fabric and turned it into two lap quilts. I know for sure they will treasure them and use them. I mean if she offered to pay me I might do it if she just wants on the same size, but again I just don't know. I haven't been sewing as much lately due to health issues, I'm trying something new to see if it helps but so far, nothing. I'm so so exhausted I can barely make it to the bathroom, let alone do a quilt for someone who might not really use it. I do try to force myself to quilt a bit since I have had to give up so many other hobbies. But days like today, I'd rather sell everything and just sleep. haha.

If you are not well - and are barely able to take care of yourself - just return it and say that you can't.

It is OKAY to take care of yourself first in a situation like this.

As I suggested before, maybe you can give her some suggestions for where she might take it (and have to pay to have the work done).

Or suggest she take a quilting class and make one for herself!

I think she doesn't understand all the work involved in making a quilt. When Mom's older quilt had started deteriorating from washings (I used bed sheets instead of fabric for foundation! Never again!), I just trimmed off the outer border. No repairing; it will be repurposed or retired.

I have an old quilt top that I was given. It was hand sewn. I washed it carefully and it does need some mending. But it is very old. I am asking myself. Is it worth it?? I might have to place a backing on it before quilting it. Good luck on your secision

You do know that people will ask anything, don't you? In your first post you commented that you aren't certain that your grandmother made the quilt, just assuming. Unless you really want to do these repairs, it is ok to form the word "no". Did she offer to pay you for these repairs, return postage, your time, etc etc?
It seems this woman wants the quilt to use again, not necessarily for the monetary value. But once a quilt has been repaired, it does lose monetary value. It no longer was constructed at its original date.
Sometimes the beauty of a vintage quilt is in noticing that it has been used and loved over the years and then is put aside from daily use and simply appreciated.

You stated you feel like you're going to be sick, an aunt called you out of the blue, you haven't spoken to them in 13 years, plus the package came to you without being packaged properly. Do not feel obligated to mend this quilt for them. Send it back and tell them it's not something you can do. They can find a quilt store where they live and ask for recommendations for someone local. My guess they have already done that and found out it would be very expense to mend it. What if the quilt starts to fall apart when you try to fix it up. You'll have an even bigger problem on your hands.

I'm going to suggest treading carefully here!

Repairing quilts is not easy, especially when the person requesting it be done has no idea what is involved. It's pretty difficult to get them to look anything like the original quilt. There are tricks and techniques, but those can be both complicated and expensive. A layer of tulle, for example, or shopping vintage fabrics to find ones that replicate those that are damaged. Or looking for new fabrics that would look as if they were vintage. Then the actual repair work begins.

What, exactly, is this person, with whom you are not close, expecting? To be able to fold it put it away? To fold it carefully so that the damaged/repaired sections do not show? Or to actually use it somewhere?

It just sounds like a lot of work and pressure to do something that may well not make this individual happy in the end, and as it's not someone you've had a relationship with, is it worth the stress?

Do what your mind and body are telling you is the right thing to do for YOU. It will also be the fight thing for your Aunt.