Gifting Quilts (Excluding Charity Quilts)/Questions
 

Iona D. posted a question in which she inquired about how one chooses fabrics for projects, including quilts to be gifted vs. utilitarian ones, which brand fabrics are chosen, and where does one purchase said fabric. Certainly, it was an interesting question, and several, including myself, responded. It was, however, her statement that she no longer makes quilts as gifts because, given the time and expense involved, she felt her gifted quilts were not appreciated. First, I find that to be a sad thing that one who receives an item, any hand-made item, but especially a quilt -something that requires so much thought and effort, would be unappreciative. So thinking, I reflected upon how I go about gifting a quilt. First, each of my quilts are designed specifically for the individual -his/her interests, preferences, etc. as well as possible function. In short, each one is unique to the individual. The fabric chosen must represent the receiver's interests, tastes, etc., as should the design -a known pattern or one I've come up with myself. Certainly, I use quality fabric and thread. I only make lap quilt/throw sizes for adults (except for a queen-size Star Wars quilt I made for my adult grandson -he's an avid fan!). This "personalizing" of the quilt to be gifted creates that "Oh, wow..." response I've been fortunate to receive from those who have received a quilt from me. I have only been quilting for close to three years, so I don't have a "stash" of quilts to choose from whenever I see a reason or need to gift a quilt. I repeat, personalization is essential. The individuals to whom I've given quilts may very well never receive another; then again, circumstances change, so something may come up in the future that makes me think, "Oh, he/she would like really like..." Up until now, any quilts I've made that were not for a specific person I have donated to my church quilting group for distribution to the needy. I am, however, now actually saving some of these quilts; maybe one of them will be perfect for a spontaneous gift (such as the baby boy rag quilt I had on hand that I gave to my physical therapist who is pregnant with a boy; she's such a sweetheart and near delivery, and it seemed like a nice thing to do). Also, I've toyed with the idea of creating a "Hope Chest" of quilts/quilted items (don't know what they call them these days) for my granddaughter -or something to specifically pass on to her when my time upon this earth is over. It's a thought, anyway. Iona distinguished between, I guess, high-quality quilts and utilitarian ones and the hassles involved in storing those of higher quality. I guess I'm just too inexperienced as a quilter to differentiate -each is made as best I can, and I tend to use good quality fabric and thread - and each would be given equal care for storage purposes. So, I have a few questions:
(1) Do you give your quilts as gifts; if so, are they specific to the individual or do you use some other selection process? (2) Do you have a "stash" of quilts specifically for gifting? (3) What method(s) do you use for storing quilts?

Oh my dear, you are a person who quilts for and from the heart. After reading your post, I feel that you really do not need direction from any of us. You already instinctively know where, to whom, and when a quilt will be appreciated and should be given.

I also try to keep a small stash of baby tops for those times when a quick gift is needed. I have been trying to accumulate a stash of smaller giftable objects--runners, toppers, etc.--but somehow the stash never gets too big. Storing is anywhere dry and clean. I actually lay completed quilts on my spare bed (yes a real hassle if we get overnight guests--but sometimes a lovely way of gifting a quilt to a person who is worthy as they see me peel the quilts off their sleeping accommodation)

As far as 'being specific' with my gifts. Yes and no. If I am making a wedding quilt I have never asked the recipients for input, but have literally 'slept on it'--thinking about them and letting my mind roam. So far I have 'batted a thousand'. For our niece, the colours of her quilt were a 90% match to the colours of the hills and valleys surrounding her home. For the DD of a dear friend, I got chills as the groom's mother talked about his love of rainbows. How did I know?? I honestly just went with my gut.

But it all comes down to what fabric you can afford, how much input you want from the recipient and honestly what You want to create. Do you need to have someone else 'direct' your quilting? Or are your quilts more spontaneous and gifts of the moment? We all feel our way as we progress in this wonderful journey of cloth and thread. Never ever feel that you must follow someone else's path. Shoot--where's the fun in that!?!

I agree with GingerK, the most important part is that you give with a full heart, and you seem to have found that path for yourself. It is a very personal thing, and we all have our own way.

For me, I find that when I set out to make a specific quilt for a specific person, it gets very difficult to stay motivated. I start to dread the process, I make more mistakes, it takes longer, and I start to dread the process.

So I generally only make quilts I enjoy and want for myself. But then, while I am working on a quilt, I often find my mind wandering to a certain person, and I will just know that is who it belongs to. On the rare occasions that I have finished a quilt and actually believe it might just be mine, someone will come along within a few days and "claim"it.

I never manage to keep a quilt long enough to build up a gift stash! In fact, I only actually have two quilts of my own, lol- a well-worn scrappy I have had for years, and one I just finished a few months ago and decided to keep because it just happens to match the color I painted my room.

As for storing, well, I haven't had to figure that one out yet! lol

Giving a gift quilt is always risky. You think they will love it, you think it's "them", but still they may not. I give it from the heart and if it stays in their closet I know I've failed to hit the mark. It's still worth the risk of giving. Even with my own children, I never totally know if my choice will "click" with them. But I try and sometimes it's a success and sometimes... less so.

I don't usually accumulate a stash of quilts, as I give quilts to charities often. That is the majority of my quilting.

Gifting to people you know can be risky as you have expectations of them. If you make something specifically for someone, you would like them to acknowledge that effort. However, if you give to charity, you might not have that expectation; it might be easier on the ego. I do both, and have been pleasantly surprised by the reception a gifted quilt has triggered. My cousin, for example, keeps a quilt I made her on her dining room table covered with a piece of plexiglass because she wants to see it all the time and show it off. Another keeps hers at the foot of her bed for the same reason. Over time, these instances far outweigh the ho hum receptions and make gifting worth while to me.

I know it is disappointing when a recipient of a gift quilt does not appreciate it. My take on it is that I enjoy the process of creating the quilt, give it with love/best wishes and never look back. I hope it will be loved and used, but if not, oh well---but that person will not get another one.

I have gifted to family members (have to be mailed) and in several circumstances, have not even received a "thank you" or notification that they got it. Insure them and ask for notification of delivery, so I know they were delivered. But, I will continue to gift if it's something I want to make for them. Many of you have said that once it is given away, it is not our worry what they do with them. Sadly, many of mine end up in the closet, neatly folded and Hopefuly fondly remembered. To counter balance those recipients who don't thank me, I also donate many quilts to Project Linus. If I'm not getting a "thank you", I'll just send to strangers. At least in my heart, I'm thinking they are appreciative! But, one thing to remember......please don't let unappreciative people ruin your joy and passion of quilting, sewing for others, and "giving".

My family & friends always love anything hand-made, so I really have no problems there. I have made my sister several items either designed for fun, quirky amusement to a large lap sized African Safari quilt which I made for them when I heard they may not be able to return to Africa. Her son asked for one of my quilts and I asked him his favorite color and 1 batt or 2. I made it a pictorial of his accomplishments from teen to present & he doesn't let it out of his sight. My youngest daughter just bought a new house last year & gets a big tree for her family. I made her a beautiful tree skirt to really show off her tree. She loves it as well as the horse panel which I made for myself originally, but gave to her because it was hard to hang in the one little spot I have to display my quilts. It was a much bigger panel than I'd expected. My older daughter loves snowmen, so I've made her some items with them. I've also made her a queen sized quilt in her favorite colors. One quilt I'd made was a free BOM & I hated the design as it was modern & I'm very old fashioned/traditional. I finished it, because it was a learning experience with many techniques & then I was going to burn it. My granddaughter saw it and begged me to finish it and give it to her...so I did! So some will surprise us over the years, but I find everyone to be very pleased with my quilts. The only one who gave me trouble was a cousin who wanted a King sized quilt for free. Very picky about colors & designs. I still have the quilt & we may be selling it sometime soon. People who know me, might give me a theme & let me choose the design. I just have fun with it and don't worry too much about it. My son likes outdoor hobbies, so I'm making him a quilt now about hunting/fishing with a picture of him on his motorcycle & perhaps a fish he'd personally caught. I'm sure he'll love it! Basically, I agree with Jeanne S as to enjoy making the quilts, give them with love & if they don't appreciate it, don't make them another.

I have sewn all my life, but just got into quilting a few years ago. First quilt class I took we made a disappearing 9 patch. Each student used their own fabrics from Christmas prints to mine with a 30's look. I was amazed at the diversity when these quilts were finished. But I had no use for mine. It sat in a closet and I went on to things that interested me. Then our minister's daughter had some major health issues and that quilt called me to the closet! I gave it to her and she was in tears. She is grown now, and still mentions it. Then I gave personalized quilts to my DIL's family members. Each one was special for the recipient. Music, golf, Elvis, etc. They were a hit! I recently gave a lovely quilt with bible verses to a couple for their wedding and I have never heard a word. I see them at family functions (DIL's family) but not a peep! They won't be getting ANY gifts from me EVER! I made custom designed quilts for my 4 grands, and they have been worn to death, so I made new ones. I gave a french braid to my daughter and she takes pics of it all the time to show me it is being used! I love making baby quilts for Linus and our local women's shelters, and QofValor so I stay busy. I have wrapped many a soldier with QofV quilts, and seen the appreciation there. I just love to sew and quilt, so I keep doing it. I have 1 quilt for me!

Thank you for your kind and encouraging words! I really, really do love quilting and enjoy being able to share quilting with others. I thought your idea of storing quilts by stacking them on the bed was an interesting one! I assure you that I am following no one's path but my own, but I am most definitely a willing student! The ladies in my quilting group tell me I have a really good eye for color and design coordination, but I think of it more as a need for things to be "balanced" artistically -and THAT may actually be limiting in terms of creativity. Because I have not been quilting long (three years), I am still learning how to do what many -perhaps most- of you take for granted. Thank goodness for YouTube videos -from them I've recently learned to make a log cabin quilt, a rail fence quilt, and a disappearing nine-patch. I think I love the learning of quilting as much as the actual creation of quilts. What fun!
Again, thank you for your comments!

For my family, it depends on the person LOL ... I've gifted my sister with three Jenny Byer's quilts, and she used them for her cats to sleep on. I wasn't amused, and said so. Her response? Well, at least they are getting used. She doesn't get any more quilts from me.

My mother used the one (yes, ONE) quilt I made for her for my nephew (sister above) when he was really sick, and he had diarrhea and vomited all over it. She's never got another one!

My dad - of all people - has three of my quilts! One is a lord of the rings that is hanging on the wall, the other two are for him when he is watching TV - one is a lap quilt, the other is a huge rectangle so his whole body is covered!

I have had requests from some cousins, aunts, etc and I've done them, and they have been appreciative.

I make about 30 quilts a year (none are full bed size anymore) and I donate all of them to various charities. By December 15 I have dropped off all my quilts at different places for them to be handed out over the holidays.

Hum...I guess everyone's approach to making quilts for someone else is, indeed, unique. I can't imagine not remaining motivated once I've started a quilt -any quilt- but perhaps when problems occur or the design isn't working, that could have a negative impact. I can certainly relate to your statement that you can't keep quilts around long enough to build up a gift stash! I do not have in my possession a single quilt I've made for my personal use. The quilt on my bed, lovely though it is, is store-bought. It's embarrassing! I did make a log cabin throw using Moda's Roses and Chocolate II line of fabric for myself, BUT, as you pointed out has happened to you, when I finished the top and added the borders to it, my long-time friend from my home state, a woman I call "sister of my heart," came to mind; I didn't know it at the time, but I was making it for her. It is beautiful in its simplicity, and I don't dare attempt to quilt it myself, so for the first time, it will be quilted by a lady in my quilting group that does all our quilting on her long arm. So, I still don't have a quilt of any kind! Thank you for your comments!

I very much agree with you that even though a gift might not be well-received, the risk of giving is still worth it. I think I would like to quote you in response to Iona's post -it was she that said she had stopped giving gifts because they were not appreciated; I think when one gives from the heart, one has done all that can be done; the quilt takes on a life of its own, and the quilter moves on to another. There is simple joy in the giving, and who is to say that at a later date, sometimes much later, the recipient views the gift in a whole new light? Yes, I definitely agree with you. Thank you for your insight.

I also follow those leadings that tell you who a quilt is for, as you are making it. Its so awesome.

Mountainwoman, you mentioned a quilt may not be working out and have a negative impact on you. I wanted to tell you that usually there is a period near the end of the making of a top, where you can fall out of love with the quilt and wonder, 'what the heck was I thinking?' At that point, press on... usually you will fall back in love with the quilt once it's finished. There's a recent thread here, titled "Is This Quilt Worth Quilting?" where that exact thing is happening! Hope she will finish her unique quilt.

Well said! It is natural to expect one's gift to be appreciated, if for no other reason than to acknowledge the effort involved. Of course, I suppose if the recipient isn't a quilter and knows nothing of the process, he/she may not fully understand the effort it takes to create a quilt. I hope the quilts I've gifted bring pleasure to those to whom I've given, but I don't really give it much thought once the quilts have left my possession. I'm too busy planning my next project! As for charity quilts, my quilting group and I work on two or three projects at once, but each of us at one point or another create quilts on our own for donation. I'm not part of the decision-making process as to where these quilts end up, and I don't need a thank-you, so I don't need to know the recipient's name. I like to think, and I certainly hope, that the quilt brings some a moment of joy and a very real sense of comfort; that possibility motivates me to continue to create quilts for those in need. OH, I loved the idea your cousin had and that she displays the quilt you gave her in such a manner! I'm wanting, in the spring, to redecorate my apartment, using a country (farmhouse?) decor. It would never have occurred to me to use a quilt on a dining table!

Oh, my, I think maybe your family doesn't quite understand -and certainly doesn't appreciate- all that is involved in quilting, except your dad, that is! Their loss! It is sweet that you are willing to quilt for others upon request, though, and I love that you make so many quilts to be given to those in need. The true joy, as most quilts know, of giving is in the actual giving!

Yes, and I have just the quilt in mind! I am still learning, which is joyful for me, so after watching a video (Donna, Jordan Fabrics) on making a disappearing nine-patch, I purchased 1/2 yd. each of five different fabrics, using the example in the video as a guide. Well, the pattern itself worked out well, but I really, really do not like the quilt (throw size). It is SO not me -all that bright color (I'm a calico or vintage fabric type of girl). When I bought the fabric (on sale), I thought, "well, it is good to step outside the box, right?" Not in this case. I showed it to my quilting group to get advice on which color or colors to use for a border or borders, but I prefaced my question with, "I'm not sure the whole quilt should be a "disappearing" one." They did not agree. The thing is, I can't even bring myself to go get the fabric for borders. I'm not sure what lesson I learned on this one, but I consider this quilt to be a mistake. But, then, hey, it isn't the first one and certainly won't be the last. I don't see myself falling in love with it; I see it as being donated because someone out there must surely love color!

All my tiny family kids, Grands, and Great Grands have all the quilts they are going to get. Three Grands are not really fond of them. One I doubt has any of hers and one I made for her Baby (Now 4). They were young when I made some of them. Sis in Law has a couple, she is now very picky, wants me to purchase very specific fabrics for her, I won't and she won't get anymore. The others love my quilts.

A couple of years ago my Daughter and I donate about 29 almost twin size quilt, crocheted afghans, hats, to a local food pantry.
Now I just make smaller quilts to give to kids in the foster care program. If they don't like them I will never know.
I love all of the quilt making process and just want to make quilts. My Daughter makes quilts and gives other items too.

Any quilts I've given as gifts have always been well received. I relate to the difficulty in making specific quilts. I'm making a Storm At Sea for my sister's 60th (April gone!). I wanted to make something special. I've had nothing but bother with it, the top is made lots of corners cut off but I know she won't notice that. It needs quilting, can't get the back to load on the frame square! The result is I don't like the quilt, I can't be objective about it and am dreading giving it to her, I'm hoping once it's finished I'll fall back in love. Lesson learned, make special quilts with no one in mind.

I usually have a couple of quilts, table toppers, etc on hand. Every so often a person "touches" me in a special way and I give them a quilt. They are so appreciative. I recently met up with a very good friend from years ago and we had such a nice visit. We laughed and cried talking about our lives. She got a table runner which I had along as I felt she would be one of those people that really "touched" my heart.

I have given away many baby quilts - the ones most appreciated have been those “not expected”. New grandmas to have at their house is one of my favorites. The biggest thank you came from my SIL’s cousin who had been one of my daughters bridesmaids. You never know.

I'm lucky - both of my grandmothers were avid quilters, so I have a large family that has all been raised to appreciate home-made quilts and understand what they are. I don't lack for grateful quilt recipients in my family!

On my DH's side, a lot of them are a bit mystified by the whole "hand made" thing but I've stuck with mostly baby quilts for them so those have been well-received. DH's mom and grandma both like quilts so they've each received a couple from me. His grandmother made me cry when I gave her the first one - she was 86 years old at the time and told me that nobody in her entire life had ever made a quilt for her! :shock: That was very special for me, to be the first one to ever give her a quilt made just for her. And I don't think it's left her bed since, except to be laundered! :)

You are absolutely coming from the 'right place' in your thinking about gifting quilts. The key, I believe, is giving the quilt to a person who wants one. That sounds odd, but sometimes people give gifts for themselves and not for the recipient. Also, that they are something the person will want to use and display. A delicate, embellished white quilt will not work well for a person with a houseful of toddlers! One of my daughters is very modern with a 'boring' color scheme and minimalist decor. I have wanted to give her a quilt for years, but, what kind would actually be used? Finally I saw a modern illusions quilt and did it in greys, taupe and cream. It was very difficult for me to get started and work on it in the beginning. I just had to keep reminding myself that it was for her and her taste. It actually looked really good and she loves it. (And, it started me making a few more modern designed quilts.) But, you also have to remember that tastes change, so the grandson who is a huge Star Wars fan may change (although I doubt it with Star Wars!). If they do change and the quilt goes in the cupboard, so be it. You can not let it stop you from gifting someone else.

Quilts for gifts: I TRY to use colors the person will like, IF I can find that out. BUT, when it's all said and done, ONCE that quilt has left my hand, I don't give it another thought. It's no longer mine to worry about. Quilt with your heart and just don't think about it.

Ekuw - All these stories about people who received quilts and "disrespected" the gifter. Really? Once you gift the quilt you're done

I think for some people it's how the gift is disrespected. My sister raved about how gorgeous the quilts I make are, and chose three patterns, and I bought the fabric, made the quilt, etc. and then she used them for her cats??? There was never any discussion about them being used for the cats. I certainly didn't expect them to be hanging on the walls, but they are so covered in cat hair and being clawed by the cats that they are destroyed. To me, that is disrespectful.

MarionsQuilts-I can understand your perspective, but I don't share it. Nothing like this has ever happened when I have gifted a quilt (that I know of) but I think if it did, I would still feel the same. Once you gift the quilt your done....Since I don't know either of you (just playing devils advocate here) maybe in your sisters mind allowing her cats to use the quilts are the highest form of praise she can give to you. Either that or she is just astoundingly oblivious. Lots of people out there like that.

I gift mine too. Sometimes, I have a recipient in mind and use something in their interest/color way. Other times, I make a quilt because I want to try a new pattern or use up some fabric and I have nobody in mind. Then I wait for that person who falls in love with it and bingo....it has a new home.

The first quilt I made for my mom never got used. So I made her a utilitarian one and wrote a poem to go with it. The poem was from the viewpoint of the quilt. It talked about the purpose and the love; basically a "I don't care if you sit on my quilt" for adults. She uses it regularly. I would post the poem but it is in German and doesn't translate well.

Great advice!

How lovely to be able to compose a poem that goes with the quilt -especially from the viewpoint of the quilt. I love personification!

True that!

I feel exactly the same. So far, I have been lucky in that my quilts have been well-received by those for whom they were especially made. I love to quilt, and I, too, make quilts for those in need; I've made quilts for the Honor Flight program for veterans, but not individually (yet) for the QofV program, although that's part of my quilting group's endeavors. I still don't have a quilt for myself, but I have a log cabin I plan on making for myself in January --but it could turn out that it will call to me to give it to someone -time will tell! No matter - the creating and the giving is what it is all about; if a quilt needs a home, it will find one...