I agree with others that once given it is theirs to use as they want. I also agree that she is probably proud of it and does not realize the cost and time it took to make.
I can understand your disappointment but hope that you can look at it another way. I do quilting because I love to do it and it is a wonderful way to tell someone I care. I am about ready to make my oldest and dearest friend (about 50 years) a whack and stack kaleidoscope quilt. Yes I will be disappointed if she uses it for her dog or had her hubby sit on it when he is dirty, but I will still love her and it wouldn't stop me from making something else for her. I would also not say anything.

I too agree with Chele.

I'm known in my family as the Aunt who makes the baby quilts. I love the title, the nieces and nephews know as soon as a new baby is on the way their "favorite quilting aunt" is making a special quilt just for their little bundle from heaven. I tell them to use it. Babies will pee, poop and puke on it and that won't hurt it.

Well being new to quilting and commenting, as I am only on my third quilt, but in a month, so I am moving right along. I also started a "lap" quilt which I am taking the quilting apart because it looks awful....
So, I started a blog, and posted about the quilts I am making and made.
I have a few old quilts from my grandmother which I posted as I don't know the patterns or how they were made.
I gave one of my 9 granddaughters my second quilt, which if you go to my blog, you would see how much work was involved (of course) but she helped sew about 120 of the 2 1/2" squares, so is involved.
I gave it away with good feelings that it will be used, abused or whatever, if I wanted to just look at it in a cupboard, I don't think I would have started being addicted to quilting.
So be generous of heart, your quilts are being used, and one day someones says to the recipient. "Where did you get that" and your story is told.
Thisis my first post on this site too.

CottageLover, Welcome! :D

Norah, I think you made a great point when you said that maybe a person would "value" the quilt more if they knew what it took to make them the quilt in the first place. See, for me it's not just the time, effort, and expense of the gift...and it certainly is not about accolades... but it's also the desire to give someone a gift that they truly VALUE.

You know how hard it is sometimes to shop for the perfect gift for someone like at Christmas or Birthday time? Well, even though it's hard most of us hang in there until we find what we think is just the right thing. The reason I do that is because I want to give a gift to my family member or friend that is truly loved and cared for. To me a quilt is no different. Yes, the joy is in the making and the giving but if the recipient looks at the quilt I give them and thinks it's best use is to rest muddy boots on at the front door then I would rather take 5 minutes and $20.00 down to the Home Depot and buy them a doormat.

Quilts are not for everyone. I understand that not everyone will cherish a thing because it's handmade. That is fine by me. All I'm saying is that I'd rather know ahead of time that someone won't really treasure one of my quilts because it is far quicker, cheaper, and less work to head to the store and buy them a gift than making a quilt for someone who won't care one way or the other.

Based on this discussion thread, a friend of mine and I got on the subject of the motivation behind the gift. We didn't directly speak to this thread because she is not a quilter, but we discussed gift giving in the context of a family member.

Her point was what was the motivation for the gift? If the motivation of the gift was purely to bring them joy in their own way, it was a gift. If the motivation was to bring joy to yourself by giving the gift, it isn't really a gift but a means to self satisfaction. Once strings are attached to a gift that is given, it is no longer a gift but a debt that must be continually paid to the giver, not by monitary means, but by actions or by word.

She must really love the quilt and appreciate the gift to have it out 24/7. I have a quilt with strings attached. As I said before, it is taking up storage space because I'm afraid it will be ruined and I will upset the giver.

I'd love to see your blog. How do we get there?

Hi all,

This subject comes up everytime quilters get together. I learned long ago never to give a handquilted item to someone who wouldn't appreciate it or know how to care for it. I have three step=children and 6 grandchildren by them. I have made lots of throws and quillows for them over the years. Each item is machine peiced and quilted. My step-daugher is a nurse with two daughters. She isn't much of a cook but she sure knows how to do laundry. I made the mistake of giving her a machine appliqued quilt when she was sharing a house with other nursing students her last year in training. She actually washed the appliques off of it and they were fused and satin stitched. I made my youngest granddaughter a quilt when she was three or four and quilted it by using her name spelled out to hold it together. The poor thing thought everything in their home belonged to her older sister. I wanted her to have something that was truly hers.
If I make a quilted item for other members of my family it is usually a wall quilt that is not likely to get sat on or laundered.
I make lots of Linus quilts and throws and quilts for the military hospitals etc. I know that all of them will see hard wear and hard laundering. I usually put flannel or fleece on the backs of them and use the decorative stitches on my sewing machines to make them a little more festive.
I use the bed size quilts I have made and hand quilted in my home. I throw them in the washer and dryer. The only damage that any of them has sustained was when my husband caught one of them on a broken bed spring. If I can every match the fabric I will repair it. I made it back in the early 80s and it is somewhat faded. I am guilty of using a quilt as a coach cover right now. It is handquilted but it was made from a block of the month I won years ago. I never was that crazy about it and I did use it on my bed for several years until my color scheme changed. At this point the sofa needs protection from my cat more than I need that quilt.
Many of my quilt friends have made Baltimore Alblum quilts. I am not willing to work that hard and am running out of space to store quilts even if they are masterpieces. I purchased some of the fabric designed by Mimi Dietrich that looks like Baltimore Alblum work. I will get around to using it one day. I know Mimi personally as she is the founding mother of one of the two guilds of which I am a member. I have worked with her at the guild as I am the program chair. She is a great lady and really down to earth. She runs a year long class locally to make Baltimore Alblum Quilts. I may end up hand quilting some of them for people who made the tops but are not prepared to do the quilting.
My favorite quilts are either crazy quilts or white on whites. I have heard the white ones referred to as "mattress pads" but many of the unknowing public.
Life is to short to worry about what happens to my quilts when I finish them.

mpspeedy

Manchester, MD

mpspeedy,
How blessed you are to know Mimi personally. I took a class from her a few years ago, in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, and you are right. She's so down to earth and so pleasant to learn from. And I truly admire her work. Some day......I'm going to finish MY Baltimore Album quilt. (Keeping my fingers crossed) :wink: