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LAQUITA 09-21-2012 04:58 PM


Originally Posted by Chasing Hawk (Post 5530713)
I don't feel the need to "dole out" punishment to my husband. It's not right nor is it fair.

I guess I am old fashioned and don't understand this "new age" marriage thing about hiding purchases and punishing one's spouse for something. :)

I TOTALLY agree with you! I am a homemaker and primary caregiver for our special needs daughter, hubby has us on a budget for everything. Even for me, I get XXX of $$$ a month to do with what I want. I don't have to 'account' for it and if he sees 'quilting/ sewing things around the house he doens't have to 'wonder' where it came from. If I choose to save this money for a bigger purchse then fine too. This works well for us and doens't give him a reason to worry about the $$$ I'm spending and doens't give me a possible reason to lie/hide things from him. We have been married 28 years and this works for us. I'd be afraid to 'dole out' a punishment to him b/c I am not a perfect person either and would hate to think of him doint that to me. It seems under handed and spiteful to do this within your marriage. I am thankful that I don't feel the need to have to do this. :)

Just my thoughts. Not meaning to hurt anyone's feelings I know we are all differnt and in differnet places in our lives/marriage.

mltquilt 09-21-2012 05:17 PM

Made a deal with DH. I don't go to gun stores, gun shows, Guitar Center or guitar shows and He doesn't have to go to quilt stores, quilt shows, or JoAnn's. Works out great.

mltquilt

dublb 09-21-2012 05:19 PM

I think the original poster was jokin' w/her DH. Not really punnishin' him.

Phannie1 09-21-2012 05:27 PM

I endulge his golf game and stores, he endulges me and my fabric / quilt shops. On vacation he spent three days golfing and I spent three days at the quilt stores. then the one he went with me too, WE spent $200.00 at for projects for him and his sister a special quilt.

Your's will learn..... You just gotta train them.....

MdmSew'n'Sew 09-21-2012 05:29 PM

I learned a long time ago to not bring my guy along when I go shopping, whether it is for groceries or fabrics, because he has the patience of a gnat. The only time we go shopping together is when he needs clothing. And for almost 23 years, it has worked for us - sure beats the angry words and snits we used to get into before I figured this out!

Ps 150 09-21-2012 05:35 PM


Originally Posted by Chasing Hawk (Post 5530713)
I don't feel the need to "dole out" punishment to my husband. It's not right nor is it fair.

I guess I am old fashioned and don't understand this "new age" marriage thing about hiding purchases and punishing one's spouse for something. :)

I completely agree, although, I've always thought of myself as fortunate. DH helps me pick colors out, find just the RIGHT fabric for a project and usually I walk away with more than I had planned. He's always right on hand when I need an opinion on a project in my sewing room, and when his store was recently being remodeled, he told the workers that the old furniture would b e just perfect for my sewing room.

I don't understand his favorite hobby, but I try to make an effort as he does with mine. He spends money on his, I spend money on mine and I've never hidden a purchase from him. I don't know if I could enjoy quilting if it was based on lies and omitted truths.

BellaBoo 09-21-2012 05:39 PM


Originally Posted by Chasing Hawk (Post 5530713)
I don't feel the need to "dole out" punishment to my husband. It's not right nor is it fair.

I guess I am old fashioned and don't understand this "new age" marriage thing about hiding purchases and punishing one's spouse for something. :)


It's called fun banter not hiding and punishing.

Silver Needle 09-21-2012 05:48 PM

DH and I really enjoy going to quilt shops together. He even drives me around for Shop Hops.

Earleen 09-21-2012 06:40 PM

Mine always wants to buy more than I went for. He always wants me to get this one get that one . Oh well he is a great stash builder.

bearisgray 09-21-2012 08:01 PM

I think the OP was just funnin' -

I think it is prudent to shop wisely - no matter what is being purchased - and I think it also good for both people in a relationship to know how much money is available and what needs have to be paid for - before indulging in 'extras'

Some people are struggling for the bare essentials - if they even have them. In those cases, I don't think it's right or fair for either person to 'indulge' - especially without the knowledge and consent of the other person.

As far as that goes, I don't think it's right for one person to 'indulge' on another person's dime without that person's knowledge and consent.


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