Infant Bereavement Quilts
 

Not the most cheerful topic to post, but I would like the groups input.

Several years ago a guild member asked if we were interested in making bereavement quilts for infants who did not make it to term or were stillborn. The consensus was that it would be a very sad reminder for parents and so we put the idea aside.

I spoke with a woman who does photography at hospitals for such sad occasions and when she found out I was a quilter she begged me to make quilts for this purpose. She said the quilts or bears (bears with birthdate, name, etc.) show up in family photos later to represent the child who was lost.

If it is needed, it would be a wonderful project. I am asking if anyone has had experience with quilts for this purpose to please reply with your thoughts.

Hello. As a former neonatal intensive care nurse, I can tell you parents most definitely appreciate any item that serves as a remembrance of their lost baby. Even if the baby is only swaddled in the little quilt for a short time, or if only one photo is taken of the baby, the quilt will be a lasting and cherished belonging. I think you will find the gesture a much appreciated one. Good luck.

I belong to a painting group and we paint bereavement boxes. The parents put the hospital bracelet, lock of hair, clothing, etc. in for a keepsake. We donate several a month to three hospitals and they always want more. It is a sad reminder, but truly appreciated by people facing such a great loose. It's not like without the reminder they will ever forget. And I think a little quilt to hold and remember would be a comfort.

I belong to an online group who knits/crochet cradles with matching blankets for sleeping babies. A prayer cloth is also given to the parents to keep. The need is there and very much appreciated by the parents. Without a keepsake it is like the baby never existed or no one cared. So I am sorry to say the consensus the ladies decided on was wrong.
The hospitals are in need of tiny 7" long up to 10" long cradles as well as full term sizes if that will help you in sizing.

I was told by the neonatal department in one hospital to avoid solid white because it does not photograph well in these circumstances. White or light color with a contrasting edging is fine. The baby's coloring looks better in a blanket with some color. I don't know if what she said was unique to the photo system they had at that hospital or not. It might be good to ask in your case just what is most desirable.

Annaquilts, on this quilting Board, provides such quilts to hospitals as well as to sick babies in the NICU. Her thread is found under "Requests" as " Looking for help to make baby quilts for the NICU, neo-natal intensive care units". She counts on us board members to make and donate quilts for her to distribute. I love helping her out. Jane Quilter

As a Mother of an infant who lived only 3 days I can tell you anything I have from my baby boy is cherished so much. It is truly as horrible time in the life of the parents and having something to hold onto really helps. I had a little teddy bear that was given to me at a baby shower that I kept, all the rest of the baby shower items I donated but having that bear was life saving to me. It was 38 years ago and I will never forget and having his Bear gives me comfort even now.

I would love to make quilts for something like this, so if you need more I would love to contribute.

Mary

My quilt guild makes these and the nurses say the parents really appreciate having something lovely to wrap their child in when they hold it and love it before they relinquish it. Nothing else at the hospital is appropriate or the correct size. We make them from two fat quarters without any batting. Just sew around them with right sides together and turn rightside out. You don't even need to quilt them if you don't want.

Yes. We had a thread about this sometime earlier this year. A lady from my church lost her "little angel" pre-term and received one of these quilts/receiving blankets. She was so grateful to feel that her child was acknowledged and remembered. She said that so often if a baby is born full-term & dies after a couple months, people expect there will be a memorial/funeral or people will sit shiva or whatever their cultural-religious beliefs dictate; however, when a child is lost pre-term, it can feel like "people just want to sweep the loss under the rug". To her (and this is not always the case), it was important to be supported & allowed to grieve for the loss of her child and the teeny "Adelaide's Angel Wrap" allowed her to wrap up her tiny child & have a proper Christian burial. She buried her little one wrapped in that quilt. I wasn't involved with that project, but I know there was talk of making a second Angel Wrap that the mother could keep as a memorial of her angel baby.

http://www.with-heart-and-hands.com/...-blankets.html

Green is another color that doesn't go well for these items.

I had several small pieces of leftover fleece that were soft colors that I simply crocheted around and donated for babies born too soon. (JoAnn's has a rotary cutter that perforates fleece for these projects.) I had the nicest note from one of the nurses who said there was need the very day my donation was received. She commented how much the mother appreciated having something soft and cuddly to wrap her baby in while she still could do so. Think on those small pieces you have available that could be utilized. And those orphan blocks that could be bordered with juvenile fabrics for a tiny quilt.

I sew at church and I'm looking for smaller projects to build skills. We work with donated fabric/threads/trims/buttons and when the group started a couple years ago, bereavement quilts were mentioned as a possible project. Thank you for this post: it comes a a perfect time when I'm looking to refocus/redirect our efforts.

As a mother of three little angels that did not make it, I would gladly tell you that anything as a memento of this precious one would be very much appreciated. My granddaughter had a little girl that she lost during her pregnancy. Her dad brought her a little purple elephant in rememberance of "Skye". She loved that little bear so her grandpa and I did this for her.

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It was an acrylic case with the elephant on a purple stand. It had a plaque with the name, dob and dod and the saying "Fly High Little Angel". She cried and now, many months later, she treasures that.

I have made small afghans for these little mites. I was told to stay away from white, premmies are often reddish and look garish against the white...yellow make the baby look jaundiced, bright colors wash out whatever color the baby might have. I used -pastels, blue, pink, lavender

A dear friend had a stillborn daughter last year, NILMDTS came and took photos, and she and her hubby received some bereavement blankets and tiny homemade cloth diapers. They are very very grateful for each and every memento, frequently she takes out everything to look and smell her baby. Thank you to everyone who makes these items, they mean the world to folks.

Yes, Our guild started to participate in this as a service project this year. We took a vote and agreed to try it for 1 year. After a year, we would bring it up for another vote.

We make it very simple: Sew 2 squares Right sides together, leaving a hole to turn. Turn right side out and topstitch around the edges to close the hole. (sizes asked for from the hospital were 7" - 15". The request for fabric was any pastel flannels (solid or prints). No loud, or bright colors. Batting could be used if desired and quilting was up to the individual. Some members used Minky fabric and they turned out lovely. Some of these tiny quilts are kept by the parents as keepsakes in memory of their loved ones.

we have a group in our area that request small quilts to use for burials for infants. Our group is called project innocence. Check with your hospital to see if you have a group in your area.

Thank you for the link. So many nice patterns.

This certainly is an informed group and I thank everyone for their input.

My church does this. They make the blanket, a premie outfit with hat for the nik-u babies. Many of them are used by the parents to bury their babies. So please if you feel you can, make a blanket or quilt for them. My guild makes blankets for the isolets. They go over the outside to protect the babies from the lights.

As someone who lost a baby at birth I can tell me I would have loved if someone had wrapped his little body in a quilt and then given it to me. As it was I had nothing to hug after he passed.

As someone who had a stillborn baby many years ago, I think this is a wonderful idea. I have nothing to remember my baby by except the death certificate and in those days we were not allowed the baby's name. I have often thought about making one myself, but it just gets too painful and brings back all the sadness so I have not been able to. I love the idea of the bears with the date and name.

Wedding dresses are donated to a quilt shop in our area and people donate their time to take them apart. They then make beautiful gowns for these babies to be buried in.

What a great project! Kudos to all those who donate for this needed cause!

I made a quilt for my sister's baby boy-- a 10"square quilt because he was all of 7" long. I used my very favorite cotton shirt for the purpose.

My sister and her husband were quite touched by the loving keepsake , said it meant so much to wrap him in it and hold him for two hours. The nurses asked if they could take a picture of the quilt to show the staff as an example of how to honor a short life in the hospital. My sister agreed. She has kept the quilt in her keepsake box of David's things for the past 20 years.

I know I was making them for Anna Quilts. They take them in any size of 12 x12 or bigger. Some are on the isoletts, and others when the parent can finally hold their precious one, the babies are in the quilt. Thanks for the reminder that I need to get moving on the ones I have.

I used to work for a casket company embroidering on the inside of the caskets. We had a model for premies, and they came with a teddy bear.

In Germany, these quilts are called "angel quilts" and they are most definitely appreciated. The parents of these babies need something to hold onto since they don't get to bring their babies home.

Thanks to all the members who replied. I now realize what a worthwhile project this is and how it would touch the hearts of very sad parents.

When my daughter had a miscarriage this summer she wanted me to make something to remember her baby by. We don't know if it was a boy or girl but they "felt" it was boy and named him. I made a crib size quilt in colors she wanted and embroidered a label that has his name, the month of his loss and that we were looking forward to holding him our arms in heaven since we did not have the chance here on earth.
When I gave it to her, she just hugged it to her and cried. She really wanted something to remember this little one by.

Another note, my daughter does a little work as a photographer and before this loss she had considered taking photo's of the little ones who did not make it. I think she still wants to do that but needs some healing first. She does have 3 other little ones 5 and under and was waiting until they got a little bit older before getting really involved in this.

I make 24 x 24 inch quilts for the NICU at my local hospital. They are well received!

I love the groups that get ahold of old wedding dresses and make outfits for the child to be dressed in when 1st presented to the parents. I've suggested it to a couple of groups I sew with but no sincere interest. I think it's because the child is deceased and it's a very sad circumstance to deal with. BUT I have also heard about parents who got the outfit or quilt and they were very grateful. Someone acknowledged that they had a child, and thats very important.

After reading this thread I thought I would love to do the same so I enquired at a large hospital in my capital city if they would accept little quilts for angels and was told no. Quite took me aback I must admit; very disappointing.

Our quilt guild makes quilts for this purpose. One of our members was approached by a woman who had lost a grandchild and told the quilter that it was her daughter's most prized possession, because it was something that had touched her baby.

Do you suppose they didn't realize what you were talking about?
Could you ask that question to a NICU nurse, perhaps? I find an outright refusal of this offer pretty odd, don't you?