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That is why I don't take classes. There is always going to be someone who "knows" more than you do, and probably does. But taking a class "does not a quilter make." Do what you are happy with, and you will be the one to win the blue ribbon.
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I know some of those quilt police, the perfectionist and some not so! That curl up their nose and look down it at you! Been there as I have only done this now 3 yrs myself, bottom line is I DON'T LIKE THEM! It is a form of being a bully if you let them. I have decided that I am a "free spirit" of quilters. I do what I want or feel or have time for even. That is just my style! It works for me!Don't see it changing. One thing I learned it do what works for you! I would let her know, "I will do what works for me and when I give my quilts away they are loved just like they are"
Did I mention "the free spirit quilters" just drive the quilt police nuts? |
YES, I have the quilt police at my sewing group....they tell me that I am being to hard on myself! That my sewing is OK and not to be so nitpicking about it. They have done shows so I guess they know what they are doing. And yes, they do bring home lots of ribbons. One has taken home two Best in Show.
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Originally Posted by lovingmama
Here is what I do, I ask people how many different they can find to make the sum of 10. (5+5, 4+6 etc.)
Than I ask them, which one is right, which one is wrong? More than once, there are different ways of doing things, with the same good result. So it comes down to what you prefer. Sorry, but there will be always someone in our lives who knows it all and especially better. Look at her as you would at a child, still needs to learn a lot. |
What is the saying? "Don't should on your friends."
You can tell your friend that she only learned ONE method of many and while you appreciate her sharing the knowledge, that you will keep an open mind and try different techniques. I mean - jeepers, if there were only one way, what's the point of ALL those magazines and books out there. |
Crashnquilt - great story!! And good for you sticking up for the newbie....hopefully you "saved" her from quitting this wonderful hobby altogether after a nasty and public comment like the Old Crow made.
:thumbup: Tanesha |
The quilt police can chase off new quilters, if one lets them! Lucky for me, I am hardheaded!
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No rules, just preferences
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I found out many years ago there is more than one way of doing anything. Good for you that you said you do it this way because it works for you.
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One of my biggest grips is to have a teacher who says her way is the only right way. Bull you know what. As you said there are various techniques and you use the one that best suits what you are doing. I do think it is beneficial to take classes, but beware of the "my way only" teacher. Always give their way a try you might find it helps. I am an appliqurer and there must be 101 different way to do the same thing. Good luck and keep on quilting.
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Every teacher I have had taught me "HER WAY" to do such and such. I use her way in class and go home and do it my favorite way. She obviously has only taken one class. Wait till she takes a few more and ask if she still thinks her first teacher was right.
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Maybe you can try one more thing ,like make her a badge to wear if she starts in. But listen ,some things may work better for you. Take it with a grain of salt and smile. You will feel better.
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Ugh - I took a quilting class and my instructor was quite good. However, on some things she is quite "by the book" I took one of my quilts to her for quilting and when I went to pick it up, she showed me another quilt she was working on. She said it was ugly and didn't I think so.
I said "if there is one thing I have learned in quilting: we all have different tastes, so what is ugly to you isn't to the creator". I kinda hated saying it but it is true. The person who took quilting lessons with me, came to me later and said "oh I found so and so and she is fabulous, she knows more than our original instructor". Well I met Ms Fabulous. I told my friend "yeah, she's great at what she does and as long as you don't mind being in her box....well you will be great at what she does". Truthfully, I have learned so much from this board that sometimes my brain is too full of things I want to try. Can't sleep at night trying to work out a schedule to get it all in. OPEN MINDS are what is great and take you everywhere you want to go:) |
We might be kindred spirits!
Originally Posted by deedum
I know some of those quilt police, the perfectionist and some not so! That curl up their nose and look down it at you! Been there as I have only done this now 3 yrs myself, bottom line is I DON'T LIKE THEM! It is a form of being a bully if you let them. I have decided that I am a "free spirit" of quilters. I do what I want or feel or have time for even. That is just my style! It works for me!Don't see it changing. One thing I learned it do what works for you! I would let her know, "I will do what works for me and when I give my quilts away they are loved just like they are"
Did I mention "the free spirit quilters" just drive the quilt police nuts? |
Originally Posted by crashnquilt
It never ceases to amaze me how many people think that because they take A class, suddenly they are experts. We have a person much like that in our family,BUT, that is a whole other story!
You might mention to your "Quilt Police" person that most all quilting classes are taught BY OTHER QUILTERS! Yep, people just like all of us! Only difference, they are getting paid for their knowledge from the school of hard knocks. Do they still make mistakes? YOU BETCHA! Only difference is they tell everyone about their mistake and show a road much easier. I have taught several classes and the very first thing I tell the class is I AM BY NO MEANS OF THE WORD PERFECT. If you have a thought of how something can be done easier PLEASE say something. Then I say "Basically I'm here to show you what NOT to do and why." Now, for just a bit of a giggle. WARNING: I AM ABOUT TO TELL YOU A TRUE STORY. TAKE ALL FLUIDS AND SOLIDS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. My sister and I went to a quilt retreat. Several of our friends were there but one of our friends brought her daughter. This was her first time to piece a quilt. Just like all new babies, all mother hens were taking her under our protective wings. Our baby finished her top and decided she wanted to go ahead and quilt it herself. My my my how fast they want to flee the nest. We all got her started and she was having so much fun every now and then she would giggle and say, "I thought it was illegal to have this much fun without alcohol!" Having her in a good way, mother hens went back to our own projects. Suddenly, some old CROW came up to her and was literally staring over our chick's shoulder. "MY GOD! You should be SHOT for quilting this so poorly!" said the old crow in a tone for EVERYONE to hear. Our new quilter immediately went to tears and sobbing. Since I was at the same table with our new quilter, needless to say I really felt like I needed to chime in on this. My not possessing the best of manners or etiquette decided to yell at the old crow, "YEAH, WELL WHO DIED AND PUT YOU IN CHARGE BECAUSE I DIDN'T GET THAT MEMO!" What folks weren't setting with their mouths gaped open were really having a pretty good laugh at the expense of "THE OLD CROW". Well, crow quickly turned on her heel to seek out the host of the retreat. Me, being the person I am, followed her. Now, this next thing was better than any Mastercard moment you could ever imagine. Crow goes up to the host, in a fit of rage starts telling him how rudely she had been accosted. I was proud to hear that she could repeat my statement word for word. Not missing a beat, our host said "Okay, so.....who died?" I nearly fainted from laughing so hard. Yes, you may go to the bathroom now. |
That is priceless. I hope she will think before she opens her mouth again. Hope this didn't turn off the 'chick' from continuing to quilt.
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Originally Posted by raptureready
One up her. Just say, "I belong to a quilting board that has everyone from newbies, like US, to people that have been quilting for over 50 years. The group I'm in has quilters that have made quilts that are displayed in museums around the world and have won blue ribbons in world wide competitions. They've been wonderful at offering advice and helping me and the one thing that they're most adamant about is that there's no "right" or "wrong" way. It's supposed to be "whatever works" for the person doing the creating. If the instructor in your class said that there's right ways and wrong ways then he or she needs to broaden his/her horizons."
I love that answer.... maybe I can remember it. I guess I must be pretty scary because people don't usually offer me advice unless I ask for it. |
Originally Posted by Scissor Queen
I generally just say "how nice for you" and go on with my happy life.
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That is the greatest thing about quilting.......there are so many ways to accomplish the same thing. Each quilter has to figure out which way they prefer.
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What is that oft-used French phrase:
Viv la Difference -- hooray for the differences. If there is only [one right way] there would only be one style of quilt, all the same size, and all colored the same. What is right for you is just as valid as what is right for the other person. I wouldn't get your feathers all ruffled over it. Just smile politely and thank her for her input -- then go back to what you like doing. Terry -- in Northern Delaware P.S. I like Hondas, but who would ever drive a Chevy -- LOL! Isn't one-up-mans-ship silly. |
Originally Posted by Jan in VA
Originally Posted by joan_quilts
When I am teaching people how to quilt, I tell them they have to make sure they are cutting accuaratley, have to know the 1/4 inch seam rule, and the rest is preference. I can show them short cuts, but as long as you are happy with your work, that is what matters.
For the 'new' quilt police, next time she does this, lean back a smidge, look her straight in the eye, slightly raise your eyebrows, do not break contact, do not speak first, wait her out, see what she does. I'm betting she will find that quite uncomfortable and hopefully make the connection that HER behavior is making you uncomfortable as well. Nothing is more ridiculous or annoying than a newly taught proselytizer. Jan in VA |
One up her. Just say, "I belong to a quilting board that has everyone from newbies, like US, to people that have been quilting for over 50 years. The group I'm in has quilters that have made quilts that are displayed in museums around the world and have won blue ribbons in world wide competitions. They've been wonderful at offering advice and helping me and the one thing that they're most adamant about is that there's no "right" or "wrong" way. It's supposed to be "whatever works" for the person doing the creating. If the instructor in your class said that there's right ways and wrong ways then he or she needs to broaden his/her horizons."
ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS!!!! |
Originally Posted by seamstome
Ask this question, "Why?" If she can answer it with a technical response, then I would listen to her because she is trying to help you.
For example, there are several things you do the "correct" way due to bias issues. Otherwise, it is a preference and she is being the quilt police. |
no i dont and if one should show up at my house im sure they wont be here long !!! i would tell them the same thing you did. its MY way to make MY quilts !!!!
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the journey is less important than the destination. I believe that it doesn't matter how you do it as long as it looks great finished, you are a sucess.
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Excellent replies raptureready and lovingmama!! You might also ask to see her quilt police badge, with a laugh. Then with more laughs, tell her you are glad she doesn't have one cuz quilt police are NOT allowed around you and your sewing!!
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Had to laugh at that. There are newbies taking classes that think their instructor is the expert and there are no other ways. Give her a chance to take classes with other instructors and see what happens. There are those that love to criticize, it won't last too long.
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I feel she is shorting herself. My first love is hand applique qnd I kept trying different techniques, needles, threads that would be suggested to me and because I did this I finally found the perfect way for me. You have to be open minded.
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I have become an applique fanatic. There must be a gazillion different ways to applique, and I don't have time to learn them all (but, I'm trying) I don't think any are right or wrong, just preferable to the quilter. If she is a good friend, give her the raspberries and just keep on with what you are doing
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{But now every time we talk she'll say "the way you do "X" (insert technique) is wrong. I learned in my class that you're supposed to do it this way". Oy. :hunf: }
Oh boy, oh boy do I completely understand where you are coming from. A friend who was in nursing school actually told me that what I had learned in my nursing school days (a three year hospital based school compared to her community college classes) was WRONG...not outdated as I had suggested....BUT WRONG! Yeah - right. May I die at home. I like your approach and I would find ways to minimize encounters. I suppose we must forgive her insecurity. :roll: |
Originally Posted by Momsmurf
{But now every time we talk she'll say "the way you do "X" (insert technique) is wrong. I learned in my class that you're supposed to do it this way". Oy. :hunf: }
Oh boy, oh boy do I completely understand where you are coming from. A friend who was in nursing school actually told me that what I had learned in my nursing school days (a three year hospital based school compared to her community college classes) was WRONG...not outdated as I had suggested....BUT WRONG! Yeah - right. May I die at home. I like your approach and I would find ways to minimize encounters. I suppose we must forgive her insecurity. :roll: I just turn into a parrot and keep saying "I'll take it under advisement" in a blah voice. Next thing she says. ....."I'll take it under advisement" Once she finds she can't rile you, she'll keep it to herself. |
Originally Posted by deema
BUT, this one friend decided to take a class (more power to her) and she's decided the the things she's learned in this class are the "right" way to quilt. But now every time we talk she'll say "the way you do "X" (insert technique) is wrong. I learned in my class that you're supposed to do it this way". Oy. :hunf:
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Originally Posted by tjradj
Originally Posted by Momsmurf
{But now every time we talk she'll say "the way you do "X" (insert technique) is wrong. I learned in my class that you're supposed to do it this way". Oy. :hunf: }
Oh boy, oh boy do I completely understand where you are coming from. A friend who was in nursing school actually told me that what I had learned in my nursing school days (a three year hospital based school compared to her community college classes) was WRONG...not outdated as I had suggested....BUT WRONG! Yeah - right. May I die at home. I like your approach and I would find ways to minimize encounters. I suppose we must forgive her insecurity. :roll: I just turn into a parrot and keep saying "I'll take it under advisement" in a blah voice. Next thing she says. ....."I'll take it under advisement" Once she finds she can't rile you, she'll keep it to herself. When we first met, I made it a point to tell her that with me, what you see is what you get...and believe me...she got it. Solution: take a deep breath, smile and keep them wondering! |
I remember when I was in Medical Technology school. As students, we were partnered with more experienced technologists at the benches who were performing clinical tests. By the time we finished the rotation, we would learn each technologist's way of doing something. The thing I try to remember is that the results are the same and only the method of work organization is differnet. Luckily, there are few labzillas although I have met quite a few quiltzillas.
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Originally Posted by PKITTY1
I remember when I was in Medical Technology school. As students, we were partnered with more experienced technologists at the benches who were performing clinical tests. By the time we finished the rotation, we would learn each technologist's way of doing something. The thing I try to remember is that the results are the same and only the method of work organization is differnet. Luckily, there are few labzillas although I have met quite a few quiltzillas.
much like quilting...from hand made templates to die cut products.... sissors replaced by rotary cutters and sewing machines making the piecing faster for the less traditional and patient quilter.... :thumbup: :thumbup: :-P :-P :thumbup: |
Originally Posted by raptureready
One up her. Just say, "I belong to a quilting board that has everyone from newbies, like US, to people that have been quilting for over 50 years. The group I'm in has quilters that have made quilts that are displayed in museums around the world and have won blue ribbons in world wide competitions. They've been wonderful at offering advice and helping me and the one thing that they're most adamant about is that there's no "right" or "wrong" way. It's supposed to be "whatever works" for the person doing the creating. If the instructor in your class said that there's right ways and wrong ways then he or she needs to broaden his/her horizons."
I guess I must be pretty scary because people don't usually offer me advice unless I ask for it. |
Originally Posted by deema
I am a newbie quilter. I only started late August 2010. I'm pretty much self taught, with the help of this board (HUGE help) and numerous hours spent surfing the web. lol. I have a friend who was inspired to start quilting after I did, which is GREAT! I actually have inspired a few of my friends to start - the more the merrier - and I always help them out where I can. Being a newbie myself, I don't always have the answers, but I try to find them. BUT, this one friend decided to take a class (more power to her) and she's decided the the things she's learned in this class are the "right" way to quilt. Now, I'm all for learning different techniques, finding what works best for you and running with it, and I always try to offer more than one alternative when a question is asked of me. But now every time we talk she'll say "the way you do "X" (insert technique) is wrong. I learned in my class that you're supposed to do it this way". Oy. :hunf:
I always respond with "This is just what I prefer, and what works for me. There are no hard rules, just preferences." But jeepers, it just grinds me. *sigh* Ok, I'm done now. Do any of you have a quilt police officer in your midst? |
I've read right the way through this - what happened to the "baby chick"?? I hope all you mother hens were able to dry up the tears and give her her confidence back.
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I hear yah, kiddo, I feel your pain. One of my best friends is a quilt cop. I'm a newbie and a non-conformist from the word "go". Now, both of us belong to a writing group. She paid a bunch of bucks to learn "the right way to write". I think she's limiting herself by sticking to the right way...writing and quilting. After all, I've learned a lot my taking the "wrong" path. As I write this, I just realized that some of us a risk takers who enjoy life's mistakes. She's not one of those. What does a good friend do? Sit patiently and wait for her to go back to tending her own affairs...without a reply unless she asks for one...then, RUN!
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