rejoining a guild???
 

I'm think about rejoining the local guild!! I was a member before was not real happy with the group. But have talk to some of ladies that are still in the group from before and they are saying that the group has get realy small. I not went to see the group fold up. So I'm think that I will gave it another try. what do you all think about this should I just save my money for fabric, and save myself the troulbe of the "know it all ladies", or go back and hope that the ladies that are still are the ones who are they to help and not just look down they noses at you. I make quilts for my friends and family and not for show. So sometime there are not make with best of the best. they are made with love and the best I can aford .

I would visit first and see how you like it. If you do rejoin, if not don't - you never know things may have changed. Joining just to see it not fold wouldn't be a reason for me. If you don't enjoy it use your money for other things.

That's kind of a personal decision, not one that we can make for you. I tend to lean on the side of always giving someone or something a second chance, but if it costs money to join, only you can decide for yourself what your budget and desires can afford.

Sounds like good advice.

I have found some groups to be very welcoming. Some aren't. Can't win them all.

Most guild's dues are next to nothing so you won't be out much if you rejoin. With a small group, volunteer to be in charge of an activity and get things going again. Make it fun and interesting to belong.

I agree with Peggi. Some quilt guild can really be clickish. I enjoy the companionship of other quilters to share magazines and opinions with so I found a senior group and a church group in town where I feel very comfortable being a valued member.

I love my Guild but there are some people I avoid. They are downers and think everyone shares their opinion. I say give it a try and see if you will like it. You never know, it may be all new people or it may be the sour apples. But at least you will know.

I'd go as someone's guest and see if things have really changed and then make a decision. I think this is a common problem for guilds, as you are not the first person to describe this kind of vibe at a guild. I have had a similar experience to yours as well.

What's more fun is to start a small quilt group of your own, limiting the membership to a manageable number. That's what we did and we're all very happy. No politics, no gossiping, no cliques.

I found that with any group how well a group functions as a whole depends on the president and to some extent the rest of the board. Right now the guild that I belong to has a president who doesn't know how to conduct a business meeting or run an organization and it shows. Meetings are often disjointed and there have been some heated discussions that didn't need to happen. We have had guests on several occasions when this has happened and they haven't come back. Fortunately the person who is in charge of programs is great and that keeps the interest high. If that wasn't the case I'd be afraid of what would happen. The whole atmosphere of the group may have changed since you last attended. Visit a couple of time - or as many as you can and still be a guest to make a fair assessment. I don't know about your guild but those joining mine now get in for half price since the year is half over and all memberships start in Jan.

Perceptions are interesting. Based on what you wrote about limiting membership some would call your group a clique. I am not trying to be argumentative, just pointing it out. I am on the side that thinks most groups are good and I won't be deterred by some snobs, or quilt police whether on this board or in person.

I have belonged to some guilds where I mainly went to hear the program and some where I participated more.

I firmly believe I am the person in control of my experience whether it is at work, or a social situation like a guild or church. I don't let others "make" me miserable. If I am getting annoyed then I try to remedy the situation but I do try to track that I own and control my emotions.

I do hope you give the guild another chance. It can be such a great opportunity for sharing and friendship and learning and giving.

Totally agree with the others - the people running the organization make all the difference in whether the group is welcoming or not. Another side of the equation, it is usually the same core small number of people doing a huge chunk of the work to make the whole group function. Would you consider offering to help with one of the committees or work groups? That would give you another opportunity to get to know the guild members better.

I have found so often that most people are just trying their best to have fun and enjoy their quilting. And I'll bet that if you share your work (does your guild have a "Show & Share" segment?) and talk about why you made the quilts and who they're for, the guild members will appreciate your good heart - sometimes knowing the story of the quilt gives you an entirely different take on its beauty :)

Ooooooh I LOVE this!!! It is so true - thank you, Pagzz, for saying it so succinctly. I'm gonna print it out, make copies, hand them to my kids and tape one to my desk as a reminder to myself.

I think you should give it a try. You might even actively try to be part of the group...attending workshops or any way that gives you the chance to know a few of the ladies without the whole group being around. I know that I am shy and often wait for others to approach me. It isn't the best way to become a member of a group.

Dina

I question if the reason the group is falling apart is the same reason you left in the first place. If the problem still exists then I would look for another group. If the problem is now gone I would give it another try. I have never belonged to a guild but have been a member of a few quilting groups. I find that groups fit my needs better than the politics of a guild.

I helped start a guild 25 years ago and we are still going strong. Not everyone is perfect but we do try to make allowances for differences of opinion. We do have one lady who insists on absolute perfection (and does wonderful work), however most of us just do our own thing and don't worry about it. You get out of it what you put in. Enjoy and contribute to those activities that you like and respectfully sit out of the ones you don't want to do. I don't like round robins or any time restricted activities because sometimes I feel like working on them and sometimes I don't (health issues) and I don't want others waiting on me to finish things. I participate as much as I can and enjoy the friendship and show and tell. It's been a very good ride. Try again and good luck.

Also, you are not the same person or quilter you used to be. You have grown.

The guild might have grown also, or at least some of the members.

It will be a new experience whatever happens

I think I might give the guild another chance. If you don't get a warm and fuzzy feeling, it might not be a good idea to rejoin, however, you might find that you would really enjoy being a member again.

Pagzz: My previous comment about limiting membership to a manageable number was strictly in reference to any group member's ability to host the rest of us in her home with respect to the physical space required to set up sewing machines, ironing stations and cutting tables, which also includes access to electrical outlets. It was in no way to suggest exclusion of a particular person but more about the amount of space available and not wanting to burn down the hostess' home when the group comes together.

Give it another try--go as a guest a couple of times before making a decision to join or not. If not, maybe a quilt bee would work better for you. Invite several people start your own bee. Bees can be kept to a relatively small number since you would be meeting in someone's home. I'm the bee-keeper for my guild; and all of the bees have eight or less ladies in them.

Terri, I understand, and agree. I just was trying to show that everytime someone complains about cliques there is more than one side to it. I should have been more clear.

I absolutely agree with onebyone. Keep in mind that during the time you have been away, you have changed, also. Maybe this time around you can be more tolerant of know it alls and quilt police. Either remember that a soft answer turns away wrath or, if you are more inclined, give them back as good as they send. Either way have fun. froggyintexas

I would definitely try going as a guest and talk to some of the ladies there. I have the same problem facing me.

I don't belong to a guild but do have a small group I attend and have experienced some of the same problems. IMHO - you can give it another try and if nothing's changed, then bow out. If others are like-minded have you thought of starting up another guild? I have no idea of the process to do so...just throwing it out there. I know I do enjoy sharing my enjoyment in quilting/sewing with others folks of the same mind.

Terri D. I understand about limiting sewing groups. I meet with 3 other ladies in our homes once a month for a little sew time. Four is the perfect size for our dining room tables, each one of us bring a lunch item. Other friends in our Guild have hinted about joining us but it causes too much trouble. Suddenly we are into extra tables, extra food, extra conversations, someone feels left out so it adds to more people. We don't have a name for our group, but we do function like a small bee. I think the term "Guild" often is used for "Bee". To me a Guild is where you go for information and a Bee is where you go for sewing. But that's just my interpretation.

I belong to two guilds. Neither are perfect but I love to be a part of them. Learn lots, laugh lots, and enjoy the opportunity to have something in common with other women. I love our workdays because there is no business meeting. The numbers are less attending and everyone at workday comes to work.

Feeling pressured to add another person is why my small monthly group folded. The person doing the pressuring brought her without asking even though we had said no more (privately esp this person). We closed for the summer to let this drop and it never started again. Now some of them are meeting again, but I was not included. I have tried to get to the bottom of this as has my best friend who was not included either. I overheard one of the group discussing the fact that the uninvited guest was causing problems in the new group, which is the very reason no one wanted to include her in the first place. Yes this sounds just like junior high! If I did anything wrong I truly don't know what it was. Will I ever put myself in this position again? No. I have never been so hurt in my life.

I've been in the same local guild since 1994. I started out by becoming really involved and loved every minute of it. However during the past five years or so my perspective has changed a lot. Mostly it's because of changes in my life, health, new interests (my foster beagles), and increased family responsibilities. However some is due to changes in the guild itself; it's become very large, almost 200 members. Members want to do lots of things but don't necessarily want to participate in accomplishing them. When they do they very often just want to do their own thing in total disregard of guild bylaws or anything else. I don't have the patience or the temperament to deal with situations like this any more so my way forward has been to keep the membership, attend when something really interests me and to avoid the politics whenever possible. (When I can't, it's well known that I'm not terribly concerned about whether or not the other members like what I'm saying, if I speak up it's because there is either a real problem or the potential for one that can harm the guild). Even though I don't participate on a monthly basis, I've made some wonderful friends through the guild. Some I see only when I attend; others I see or talk to often.

You will never know whether or not this guild is for you unless you make the effort to check it out. The only person to whom you owe any explanation of your final decision is yourself. Think through ahead of time what is and what is not acceptable and go from there. I hope it works out well whatever you decide. Joyce in Delaware

"Members want to do lots of things but don't necessarily want to participate in accomplishing them."

This is so true for a lot of groups and organizations. "Here's an idea, now you do it so I can enjoy it"

Perfect opportunity for you to start your own group and invite only those whose company you truly enjoy!! :)

I rejoined my current guild again 3 years ago, it was a great idea for me. I'm a charter member and helped start my guild. I left because the president and her friend were micro-managers and was driving everyone batty. Our current president is lovely and very sweet. The ladies in the guild are very nice and welcoming.
Sharon