If you're going to make the quilt, I think you should do your best because it shows your skills and your quilting reputation. However, if I just could not do it because of the strong feelings, I would buy a gift and never think a thing about it. If they are as unfriendly as you think, they probably wouldn't appreciate it anyway. JMO.

the pattern I used for a rag quilt said not to prewash anything, because you will be washing it over and over and over again to make the fringe loose its threads. I just finished two of them and they came out great, nice and soft. good luck have fun always yippie PS it will shrink alot at least mine did.

I understand what you mean about feeling obligated to make a quilt. I started making them for all of my nieces and nephews for their first baby. Too many to make one for their second and third ones. There are 16 on my DH side and 12 on my side. I do make them for every one of them , but I do somewhat choose my pattern based on how I feel about them. Some of them I only see or hear from when it is time for a wedding or baby shower or things like that. They don't even come to the family Christmas party. I understand if they have other commitments. But they never come. Maybe some will feel this is wrong but that is how I do it.

I would see what they have registered and just buy something. If it's not made with love as a gift, it's not worth doing, IMO. Besides, probably the feelings are mutual, and it will be unlikely that the parents will be duly appreciative of your work. They might just stuff it in a closet if it doesn't go with their decor.

If you do want to make a rag quilt, I wouldn't bother with prewashing. I think you get more of the raggy effect if there's some shrinkage.

Look at it this way... the baby will LOVE it, and it will be a constant reminder to the mother of what a wonderful, caring person you are... her constant thorn in the flesh. <VBG>

I agree with alleyoop1 that any quilt I make reflects my workmanship so I will always do my best regardless of who it is for. And as others have said, make it for the baby. They are the innocent party here. Don't let your relationship with the parents (or lack thereof) affect the baby. You never know how much one act of kindness can affect another. :).

I so totally agree with Prism .. its for the child not the adult ...SO have fun with it !

I would make the quilt and as it was being made, I would say prayers, especially, for the baby to grow, be well and strong, and to have the blessings of God on him/her. I would also pray for the family and all the members as well and ask the Lord to draw them close to Him and bless them. God bless you and may you make the right decision that eases you and gives you peace about the situation...

The bible says its no credit to love those who love us. And your best workmanship may witness to these people the love of Christ. Wouldn't that be awesome.

Forget the adults. This is for a Baby. Do your Best

Make the quilt and enjoy making it for the child. But I really hope the parents remember to send thanks for the special gift for the child. That will make it welcomed as it should be.

I agree that since the baby is the innocent party in this situation, but the parents have been a long-standing thorn in my life. Hard to turn the other cheek when they just keep slapping .

I know the Bible tells us to "turn the other cheek" . . . but I think God gave us a limited number of cheeks, for a reason. We're also told to forgive our enemy, if he repents. No where in the Bible, have I found any passage telling us to keep enduring abuse, just because someone wants to dish it out.

In reality, the baby won't care whether or not he/she gets a quilt.

My daughter made a rag quilt for friends and didn't pre wash and the blue flannel dye stained all the yellow and made the other colors muddy.. very disappointing!! You might want to check the color fastness.

Ditto those who think this is about the child and your pride in workmanship. If it's worth doing it's worth doing well.

You are making this quilt for a baby. That baby may love that quilt so much that he or she will always remember you with love. That thought alone would make me want to do the best job I'm capable of when making this quilt.
Mia

I always try to do my best but that said, if I didn't want to make the quilt , I wouldn't. I really don't feel obligated to make anything for anyone.

I read on the board a long time back how terrible Flannel turned out that was purchased from Jo-Ann's. We have used it for Charity Quilts and I was shocked when I prewashed some red. I was concerned about it bleeding (no problem) After it's washed it has little fuzz balls all over it. I felt terrible one of our ladies bought about 50 yds. and donated it is so pretty before it's washed. Don't know how it holds up.

If I felt the way you do, I'd just forget it. A quilt should be made with love. Just MHO.

I've purchased--and washed--at least 50 yards of various flannels at JoAnne's, and not had a problem with any of it, neither pilling nor bleeding. It does shrink, of course; flannel does that.
As for rag quilts for babies, the seam allowances are cut every quarter inch or so, leaving NO long strings to come off. The residual lint could be a problem for a child with breathing problems, though. I would skip the rag idea myself, and just sew the squares or rectangles normally; it's faster to do and the quilt will be a bit larger because of the smaller seam allowances. It still does not need batting, and can be quilted simply. Instead of Xs, which I personally don't care for, I would go through the squares' middles lengthwise and crosswise with a deliberately slightly wavy line, adding some visual movement to the quilt while also being much less demanding to sew! Or just stitch in the ditch, or echo the seams, because with no batting involved it would only be to keep the blanket shape intact.

So why not just buy something?
Or send your regrets and not show up?

So I finished the baby rag quilt this weekend. Except for this, it was a horrible weekend starting on last Thursday.

My DH was on his way to visit his DD and g/baby and he was going very slow...10 mph...and fell asleep at the wheel. He was ticketed but the only damage was to his car. Other car was fine. Then on Friday a.m. he had a job interview at 10am. He's been looking for his dream job for 9 yrs. with no luck. He fixed the front end of his car, but hood latch is broken and can't open it, and the grill was busted and used duck tape to fix it. Car overheated on the way home on Thurs. even. Left for his interview on Fri am. and on the way stopped to get gas. Called to say he had no money in is account because the auto pay to HomeDepot and drained his account. Said he'd call me in 5 mins. I waited 20 and no call. I called him and he was in his interview --- 30 mins. late. Then he called me 2 hours later and said he was out of gas and asked me to bring him gas. I had to leave a craft festival I've been waiting all year to go to, I got there where he said he was, and he was nowhere to be found. A good samaritan gave him some gas to get home. ARRRGGGGHHHH!!!! He called to tell me when I was in store buying the gas can and buying gas. Then on Saturday I worked on the quilt....no drama. Sunday, my DH was playing with G/kids jumping on the trampoline with my DGD's. I hear my 5 yr old GD scream bloody murder. She sprained her knee and has a possible fracture of her tibia because DH was bouncing her too high and she landed crookedly. DGD going to the orthopedic surgeon today to see if she needs a cast....Thanks again DH.

Needless to say. The quilt was the highlight of my week, but at least my DGD is doing ok today.

Quilt finished for my DH grandbaby. His daughter doesn't like me, never has, but at least the baby has a pretty quilt to remember me by.

Wondering what drama awaits me next..... sorry -- venting.....

Couldn't say it any better than this! Thanks Kerry.

It turned out adorable and you were the bigger person and the baby will enjoy it.
All's well!

So here's the latest on the rag blanket and baby doll I made for the DIL's baby's 1st birthday. We were invited to the party that was - about 50 miles away - it was more of an adult party than for children. In fact, the baby didn't even get to open the gifts. Mommy said, on their side of town, the children don't open their gifts so the other children don't get upset. What????? That's the most fun for the kids is helping to tear open the gifts. Needless to say, tothat's the stupidest reason I've ever heard. Sounds pretty selfish to me....come to the party and watch the baby eat her cake and go home. They didn't even have a birthday cake for the kids to eat. That family is so strange.......

Stitch124, thanks for sharing your story and quilt. When I have times like at you DIL's baby's birthday, I just know that what goes around comes around. Your DIL will probably surround herself with taboos and one day.....

And you know, sometimes I'm around to see it happen. :D

Oh! My! Gosh! :shock:

Such a coincidence, my sister and I were talking yesterday about obligatory gifts. Have I made one? No, but I have given them. Surprisingly enough, each time they were happily received and I was graciously thanked. Sometimes, or maybe most times, life isn't about us, it's about everyone else. There must be a reason why your DH asked you to make a quilt or why you are making this in the first place, as it would be much easier to buy something equally as cute in much less time. My guess is your talent, and I feel that since you've decided on a hand made gift, you should sew it with as much care and happiness that you would any other.

I must admit I hadn't thought of the choking issue, but babies and toddlers tend to wrap themselves up in blankets, sometimes just by rolling and when they are young they don't have the dexterity to get themselves out. Please make this not a rag type. I would hate for this to be made regardless of consequence then have something grievous happen. You know, the Karma thing. You can't always keep the bad thoughts out of your mind, but you can keep them out of your heart.

They used to make pre-quilted panels for babies and children and all you had to do is put a blanket binding on the edge. I had made one for my daughter when she was three, it was a unicorn under a rainbow in an enchanted forest. She loved it and brought it everywhere. A few years later we were at the beach and that blanket was in our beach bag. We walked down to the water and when we came back our bag had been ransacked and all that was missing was that blanket. She still talks about that and she is 26 years old. They don't forget.

Quite frankly, if you don't have your heart in it, it's not worth the effort. Buy a gift and be done with it. Life is too short.

oops, too late! Never mind since you've already made it, lol.

It is really cute and bright and I love the footprints fabric. Nice touch with the doll too-I guess you got into it after all! :)

Love the quilt, and from the story of dh, "if it wasn't for bad luck, you'd have no luck at all. Hope all goes better for you this week.

Oh my, I feel bad for you. I learned my lesson early on, don't quilt of sew for people I don't like. That said, sometimes giving a handmade item to someone you don't care for will break down barriers, had that happen.

Well, the quilt turned out very pretty! I hope you get a friendly response about it, but I'd be willing to bet they don't write a thankyou or even bother to call until it's time for the next so-called "party". It would be nice to think the little one will eventually know who made the quilt for her.