Unloved quilts....
 

I am little bit sad about what I read lately: some members in different groups told that their quilts weren't used by their children, DIL, SIL, grandkids.... The quilts were put in cupboards, or hidden in the cellar or being in a dog bed...
Or they were found on a garage sale for 10$....
Why don't the people give unloved quilts back to the quilter? Then there is a chance to donate these quilts to people who love them!
I am lucky,all my donated quilts are in use and loved and some of them even had to be renewed!
What is your experience? I hope you have only good ones!
Have a nice day!

I try not to worry too much about how my gift is used by the recipient - I assure them the quilt is meant to be a 'daily driver' not to be put up or away because of fear of ruining it.. I often see my gifted quilts in use at family/friends homes and have seen them in many pictures, too! There are a few that have never been seen since but, again, I try not to worry too much about it. Perhaps some day down the road they will be discovered by someone else who will be amazed by and appreciate my special gifts...

I don't give them to family anymore. My granddtrs leave them here (after living here) or the now ex-wife of my son would tell me to not make them more. She loved everything new. I'm trying to get back to sewing and make what i want to use. then make some smaller ones for charity.

Once my quilts are gifted, they are "released back into the wild". The new owner can use them or not, their choice. However, I do always wash them in the washer and then throw them in the dryer and let the new owner know I did that so they are perfectly fine to use, throw on the floor whatever, and then can be washed by machine. I mainly gift quilts that are meant to be used and at some future date, find their last use to being used as a picnic blanket, dog bed, furniture protector or whatever before finally receiving a proper disposal after being just worn out.
I do occasionally make an art quilt and then I do ask if they want it before gifting it to them as not everyone wants a quilt on their walls no matter the size. Nor do they all have the same taste in design or color.

I've been lucky that my quilt gifts have been appreciated but my slow pace of completion means no one is getting many and that probably helps. I just retired so I will have more finishes and may find that a future recipient won't be as appreciative. I can live with that. I enjoy the journey of creating.

I have a daughter who I felt had enough quilts - she and her DH are fairly minimalist. She accompanied me to a quilt show this week to get out of the house (she's on maternity leave) and saw a quilt she loved. So they will be getting another that I know will be appreciated. Now to figure out how to get my other daughter and two sons to attend a quilt show with me.... :) :)

when I give anything I give it unconditionally. I'm also thoughtful about who I give things to....

I think it's a good idea to have a dialogue with the intended recipient, just to feel things out, see if they're interested in having a quilt and what their understanding and appreciation of quilts is.

Bingo! My quilts go to those who will appreciate and use them and have expressed an interest in them. Most have no clue or appreciation of what goes into what we do.

Several years ago I was asked if a quilt I made and gifted to a person also be buried with the quilt she loved.

This is my philosophy as well. I know plenty of people who just don't care for quilts or homemade things in general. It seems odd to me, but then again, my loving homemade things probably seems odd to them.

When I gift a quilt to someone, I lightheartedly but also seriously tell them I make quilts to be used. Use it. Then I let them know how to wash the quilt and with a wink and a smile tell them it is not master piece. With a second wink, I always let them know if it wears out, I will make them another. I haven't had to remake any quilts but some children's quilts are faded and shabby because they were well used. Some children are ready for a Big Kid quilt or maybe a graduation quilt, I will see. ;)

I've been donated quilts to give away at work. We've done this by letting people sign up, and normally we get about 60 responses - out of about 200 employees. I work for an organization that has a culture that quilts have a significant meaning.

This demonstrates that a lot of people simply do not have an interest in receiving handmade quilts.

I know people have very different feeling about quilt giving. I want my quilts to make the recipient happy. I made a very good friend a quilt for her birthday. At the time she was over the top excited about it, and has told me multiple times how much she loves it. She also has two dogs that she adores, and often posts pictures on Facebook. Her dogs, and my quilt are always in the pictures. She even captioned one "three things I love about my life". I guess my mission was accomplished!

ummm.... lately, I have not gotten many quilt requests. But....I in the last few weeks have gotten several requests for my home-made dish clothes. Another friend of mine just requested 10 more. Oh, my. Good thing about making them, is that I can pretty much make these sitting in my recliner with my feet up and netflix on. I do have several quilts waiting to be finished and the mystery comes out soon. What to do? What to do?

Totally agree with this.
Ive recently finished a pretty ambitious (for me!) quilt top, and will spend the next few weeks quilting it.

Not at all sure what to do with it after that.

As of now, I’m planning to offer it to one of my daughters, but will ask her to tell me in complete honesty if she likes it/wants it/ will use it!

I don’t care if it gets stained or worn out; actually those would be good things!

But I’d be heartbroken if she put it in the back of the closet, or put it in the donation bag when I’m not looking!

I won’t be offended if she tells me upfront she doesn’t like it……I’m sure I’ll think of something to do with it!!

A quilters when we hear of a new baby, wedding, graduation, loss, or illness we immediately think of making a quilt for the situation. That's what we do. It's all we can do in many situations to show how how much we care and want to give a heartfelt gift. It is a letdown to know that the person may not understand the amount of time and love that goes into the gift of a quilt and simply does not see it as so. The main point is that we made and gave a gift of love and we know it.

I sew by hand, and I'm disabled, so I only make a few quilts a year. The recipients are friends who are eager to have one of my quilts, and are consulted throughout the process. I don't even select fabric until we have talked about their favourite colours. I want my quilts to express the recipient's personality, and it's an honour when I succeed. I was chatting to a friend last night about how it's almost like a very abstract form of portraiture, and they said they were moved by the quilt I'm finishing up for a mutual friend, because it's so exactly her. Joyous citrus bright colours, gently flowing curves, an organic look. Whereas for someone else, what might be just right for them is elegant geometry and more subtle colours.

I mean, I also make them according to what I want, it's a blend of the two. I'll message a friend and say, "hey, how do you feel about red linen? Also I'm kind of obsessed with triangles right now." That friend said nope to red linen, so that fabric is staying in the cupboard for next time, and I'm making him the quilt he wants. Getting into the colours and shapes he requested was an exciting challenge, and I'm so glad he was specific.

Quilts take time to make. Make sure some of that time is spent on making sure the recipient really wants a quilt, and that it's a quilt they'll love. My quilts are loved, and I get messages about them years later.
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Many years ago we made a quilt for the inlaws anniversary. MIL picked out the colors. A few years later she changed her colors and gave the quilt to my SIL, her daughter. No problem, SIL absolutely loves quilts. Not sure about the other ones we made for people.

Decades ago quilts were all over the home decor magazines, not so anymore. Take a look at some real estate listing photos. Everything is plain and gray, no color or adornment anywhere.

I made each of my kids a quilt. I won't gift another quilt to them unless they ask for it. My daughter has asked for more over the years. For the grands I made each one a quilt for their 2nd birthday. By then the mom has gotten over having the baby stuff be a certain color and theme. My grand love the theme quilts I make for them. Simple panel quilts using their favorite character or interest at the time. Not much time went into these type of quilts. A panel, border and backing. I would never make a nice quilt to give as a gift unless the person wants a quilt.

I give my quilts freely and believe most are in use.

There were several of my quilts in my mother’s house at the time of her death. Grands took them all which made me happy.

I think it works best if you include the recipient in the fabric and design choices. Some folks just plain do not like quilts, too! And taste in colour etc. is so individual.

FWIW my mom was a weaver and would often give us really awful woven items. I know she meant well and I really appreciated the thought behind the gifts, but after 2 years of dutifully wearing a woven coat in a dark pumpkin orange, one of my least favourite colours and one I look ghastly in, I finally decided the coat and I were not soulmates, and I donated it.

I agree with tallchick that most folks have NO IDEA what goes into making a quilt, and for that I blame the "quilt in a day/weekend/3 yards" advertisings. They do not get how many hours of your time the quilt represents. Let alone the costs.

Past that, once you give a gift, let go of what happens to the gift. The recipient appreciates the gifting, if not the gift.

And...my great aunt gave me a quilt years ago made of polyester squares of dark blue and turquoise, backed in flannel. It is not a particularly beautiful quilt but I loved who gave it to me...she was notoriously thrifty but was so thrilled to hear that at 20 I was learning to make quilts, so she impulsively gave me one (even let me choose from a few). That quilt was on my bed in the hospital for the births of my three daughters. I treasure it.

So...some folks really do treasure the quilts you give. You just have to find the folks!!

Past that maybe something smaller? I find mug rugs are always appreciated.

I blame the "quilt in a day/weekend/3 yards" advertisings. They do not get how many hours of your time the quilt represents.

These are the only kind of quilts I make for donations, or someone asking for a quilt. The recipient doesn't know the difference if I spent six month or six days making it. They only see the colors they like. They are fun to make.

You are right about that onebyone! When we make charity quilts we do stick to the simpler designs.

I grew up with an mother who was strong willed and a talented artist (painter/watercolour/oil/pastel) . We were all afraid to compliment one of the works of hers because it was gifted to you the next holiday/birthday, whether it was to your taste or not. And if it wasn't hung soon thereafter, you got questioned as to why. To give you some scope, this woman had over 150 paintings and drawings of hers on the wall of her house and many more stacked everywhere.
I vowed I would not subject my siblings or my children to this....
Fast forward to about 10 years ago and I started quilting.... my daughter said "Mom, I'm glad you like quilting, but I"m not into flowers and pastels" (Neither was I at the time....)..
So I made a few quilts, and I gifted three to her brother,who lives quite a distance away. He loves them - one was a scrappy log cabin from a block exchange I participated in, one was a strip quilt, and the final one was one he picked out with me at a quilt store, a windowed panel quilt...
Then my daughter, when I'm showing a different quilt to friends says "Yeah, Mom's made three quilts for my brother, but not one for me!" So afterwards, we talked and I said I hadn't made a bed quilt for her because of her comment about not wanting one... so long story short, we talked about what she might like, she shopped for fabric with me, and I made her a quilt.
I have since gifted her with some placemats (unsolicited but appreciated), a lap quilt themed to her hobby (hockey) and a few other things. but any further quilts will wait until she says she wants one, and she knows that.

I give my quilts freely to family and friends. If they choose to "save it", they usually don't ask for another one. I don't even mind if it turns into a dog bed. The dog likes it. The only place I draw the line is if I don't know a person. Unless I made a quilt to donate. I have this thing about giving a quilt to someone I wouldn't know if I passed them in the grocery store.

I'm trying to work out what you're referring to there. Is this the, "Ooh, could you make a quilt for my sisters boyfriend?" sort of thing?

I am very fortunate that my family has a grand and deep respect for quilts. I am making a quilt for each member of the family. I started with new babies as they arrived and am now about half way through the adults. It is a bit of a tradition to discover who gets a quilt each Christmas. Each quilt comes with a brief conversation that is generally about the fact that I made this item to be used, so use it. Wash it as needed. If it needs a repair it comes with a life time, my life time, guarantee. If it becomes the toddler lovey or drag along quilt, I will replace it with a twin sized quilt at an appropriate time, but most of all it is for warmth, snuggling and comfort. Enjoy it. So far, 20 years, none have come back for repair! I do need to pick up the pace because the recipient of the first baby quilt I made will be graduating from high school this year and that means a new quilt for sure!

I also donate to Project Linus. Like others have mentioned, those as given with no expectations. They are given as a small ministry to children and adolescents who need something of their own in a difficult time.

I blame the cheap imported quilts that flooded the market many years ago. If they see a handmade quilt in the big box store for $29, why would they think the one you gave them is anything special? Some people think that way. Like the old saying goes, they know the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

Hah, when I get ads for those quilts, I tend to leave them comments about knowing perfectly well what materials cost and how much labour goes into a hand sewn quilt, and ask how they can possibly be paying their workers ethically if that's how much the quilt costs.

Although I confess to taking a screenshot of one from Toast, it's giving me ideas for a future quilt.

If I love someone enough to make them a quilt, then they have also heard me talk excitedly about quilting, to the point that they know very well that a lot of work, artistry and materials goes into them.

Exactly. I was once asked to make three quilts for someone's mother, aunt, and grandmother. I have never met them. The attitude was since I gave them away. Although, I have given a quilt to a "serious" boyfriend of my niece. It just all depends.

I've made a few quilts for people I don't know well. One is the sister of a friend, whom I've met a few times, nice woman. She was pregnant and I can never resist making a baby quilt, they're so fun. And I've just made a super warm lap quilt for a friend I've known for years, but not particularly well, as she's having a hard time staying warm this winter. I had enormous fun making both quilts, and as ever, learned from the design process. The quilts are still very much appreciated, and it made us get to know each other a bit better.

I think one person said her friends had been asking about the baby quilt I made her, did I make them on commission, and I laughed and said nope. She got the quick explanation of how labour intensive these things are. As the saying goes, if I love you, I'll make a quilt for free, and if I don't love you, you couldn't possibly pay me enough. (I hand sew, and materials costs in the UK are high.)

Some people will just take and take. When I was making masks, an acquaintance asked me for 5 to wear to work. I made them for her. Then she asked for 10 for her son to wear to work, and could I use bandana fabric? I told her he could just wear bandanas. (they both had very good jobs).

I decided if any of my children or grandchildren admired one of my quilts, I would give it to them on the spot. I have a stack of lovingly crafted quilts. I am 85 and no takers yet.

sorry to hear that you have no takers yet I am getting along in years my children have quite a few of my quilts already but I love making them so still doing it.

I was making a pattern i wanted to try and it was out of Halloween fabrics. My daughter loved it as well as my granddaughter so i finished it up and gave to her! She had it out for the holiday time and then put it away and pulled out the Christmas one i made her last year. She is my biggest fan!