Validation
 

I'll be 63 years old this year and have been sewing since I was about 10 years old. My whole life my mother always validated my creativity and loved what I made. She was my biggest fan. She was always so proud that I could make plain ole things beautiful. I have lots of friends but none that sew or quilt. Now that my mother is gone, I so miss the validation that my efforts and talents are worthwhile. Do you need someone to tell you that what you make is beautiful, wanted and worth the effort to create? I create because I love doing it but lately more often than not, I'm missing the joy of completing something because I don't have someone to share it with. I know I could join a guild but the only ones near me aren't convenient for me to attend. Just wondering how others get past this.

I am wondering if you could post photos of your finishes and we could all enjoy them and let you know how beautiful they are!!!
I too enjoyed hearing about how much my mother enjoyed the items I made. Sadly I lost her this past October!!!

Please post here, we love to see everyone's projects whether you are a beginner or an expert. Also a great place to ask for opinions and tips.

I totally understand the desire for validation. My parents are my biggest fans, but I am also lucky enough to have a best friend who also quilts and she celebrates my work just as I celebrate hers. I tend to be very critical of my own work, so positive feedback from others really helps me keep things in perspective!

I think Maggie_Sue's suggestion of sharing here is great, although I don't see too many other's doing so (but maybe I'm not looking in the right place?). However, I have also found that the various quilting Facebook groups I have joined are even better. Lots of people share their most recent projects - sometimes asking for suggestions or advice on one thing or another, but often just sharing a photo of their work. The groups are filled with quilters of all sorts and experiences so I enjoy the appreciative, knowledgeable audience. That said, I also share my work on my regular Facebook page and the vast majority of my friends know nothing about quilting, yet still make positive comments on my photos. So, if you don't have Facebook (or even if you do!) I encourage you to share with your non-quilting friends (maybe just starting with the closest ones) as you may be pleasantly surprised by their responses.

Yes, that kind word does help. Do you make quilts that can be donated? The recipients can be so grateful. And depending on where you donate, a lot of places will send a heartfelt thank you card. Makes every moment at the sewing machine worth it. It is extra special if you are there to witness the gifts being given.

I go to several sewing related group on Facebook that are great, you can find one related to the type of sewing you do, or sewing machine brand, people show photos of their creations. If you have a favorite sewing celebrity do a search for them on Facebook, most likely they will have a Facebook page, some even host Zoom meetings. I'm 81 and love belonging and participating in these groups, especially now with the isolation due the Pandemic. Today I visited, along with others, through Zoom, Mark Lipinski, a quilting celebrity, lots of fun and laughs and creative ideas.

Yes, please do post here, but I don't think online validation can take the place of in-person visits with other quilters.

Many guilds have what my guild calls friendship groups. They may be called something else, but they are simply relatively small groups of quilters who get together on a semi-regular basis for one purpose or another. To belong to a friendship group you don't always have to be a member of the guild. My friendship group is composed of people who quilt on a frame. At our meetings we eat and talk about just about everything, but our most important activity is show and tell. Other groups may be interested in a specific skill, such as applique, or they may get together to work on quilts for charity. And some are just friends who like to get together and talk about quilting.

Many churches, senior centers, and quilt shops also provide times for quilters to get together. If you call around, you may find more opportunities than you could have imagined.

I don’t need the validation, but I have wished so many times that my grandmother was still alive. She was a fabulous seamstress and very creative and she would have loved that I took up quilting. I’ve wanted to tell her all about it so many times.

I have quite a large family but I'm the only one who sews so everyone thinks I make masterpieces! (believe me, I don't). However, it does feel good when someone admires my work, especially people I'm close to. I made my cousin a quilt for Christmas and she went wild- her exact words were "It's a masterpiece!!!" Okay, if she thinks so that's fine with me :)
My Mom was probably my biggest fan and she died in 2019. I still want to show her things and of course make things for her. She always made me feel like a million bucks. My Dad did too. Ugh- It's hard.
About parents- when I lost my Dad ( he died before my Mom) a very good friend told me "You don't get over it but you learn to live with it". She was so right.

interesting thread as some of my quilt buddies and I on a Zoom call were talking about getting feedback on our quilts and whether that was comfortable or not. Not quite same as validation, but do think both alike in respect of not keeping our creativity tucked in the back room.
I'd suggest you re-check with the area guilds--while they may not have been convenience before the pandemic, many are undergoing some change as result of need to socially isolate. One of the guilds I'm in has totally shut down, the other switched to Zoom meetings in April and we've had 2 distanced (one outside, the other in a huge auditorium with 15 people!)but we've even done some workshops via Zoom. Since speakers are via Zoom, we've combined our 2 meetings into one via Zoom--so we are seeing members that don't usually attend due to not driving at night, work, etc. You may find a guild that is meeting via Zoom that works for you.

Susie you made me laugh out loud. My mother would think my pieces were masterpieces too and she would make me laugh because my creations weren't either. I would always say it isn't a masterpiece but I do think it is the most beautiful thing I've ever made. But I think that often. Still do. I love making beautiful things and I love the things I make. And in response to someone else, I don't do donation quilts but I do give them all away to family and friends whether they want them or not. I'm kidding, they all want them and I think love them. I have given quilts for raffles too where a stranger would win them and made lots of baby quilts for babies I don't know. But everything I would make I would also show my mother first. Oh I'm not a big baby and will continue to make things, I guess I was just missing that part of it. I don't do Facebook but I will definitely relook at some guilds in the area and try to find some creative friends. Thank you all so much. You are all so kind. I have to get ready for work now. I get to be creative at work too, that is why I love my job so much. Have a blessed day.

I love the Sew and Tell at my local guild...where we show our projects and share info. on the journey we took to make it!

Please share your quilting projects with us on the Quilting board...so we can admire your projects.

I also miss showing my Mom things that I made.

My Mom was one of those people that looked at the back side of needlework to see if it was neat and the inside of garments to see how the seams were finished. I do that, too.

My Mom seldom criticized my efforts, but she did know the difference between beginner level and wow, great work!

She is a hard act t o follow! Now that I am older and somewhat more aware,, I wonder what she would have been able to accomplish if her circumstances had been more conducive to creating.

Rest in peace, Mom!

I'm glad I made you laugh, Deborah! :)
Yeah, I'm kind of glad I'm the only one who sews haha Even my brothers are in awe of my talent (?)

I quilt and create for myself. The validation is an extra perk in the process. Post your pictures here we all love to go gaga over what others have done. Looking forward to seeing your workmanship.

I do understand the need for validation! I am the only one in my family that quilts. My BFF quilts, but lives 40+ miles away, and has a totally different style than I do. When I make something, I second, third, and fourth guess what I've done. I have posted here, and on my Facebook page, and have always gotten wonderful comments. I really enjoy quilting and strive for "perfection" and always feel like I'm falling short! You are right though...I usually think whatever I have just finished is the most beautiful thing I have ever made!

My sister of my heart is a artist of fine art, real talented I have made her a few quilts, the first was my midnight, and she thought I was the best quilter ever! she lives in Oregon, she came to visit me here in Ky. of course I took her and her sister to the quilt museum in Paducah, BIG mistake! LOL I so fell off my pedestal, she saw what real quilt artist can do. I am just a simple quilter doing what I love to do. and that's OK with me. If you haven't seen any of my quilts I have a album here on the board, enjoy, as I enjoyed making them, I love log cabin quilts with different blocks, get bored making the same block over and over, so like to mix it up.

I just want to make a comment about validation to all of you who have shared beautiful memories of your validation experiences. Back in my cross stitch days I was in the middle of a project to be for my mother. Halfway through, I showed it to her and told her it was for her and she glanced at it and said, "Oh, I don't really like that home made stuff". I tossed the project in the trash and never ever made anything for my mother. Then I discovered quilting and became decent at it. I made a quilt for my only granddaughter, an adult school teacher. It consisted of 12in blocks of appliqued owls sitting on tree limbs. It was adorable and I was so proud of it and thought maybe she would hang it in her school room. I visited her a couple months later and noticed it folded up on a shelf in the linen closet. So quilting friends, enjoy all the validation you receive. Lap it up, and start your next quilt.

rvsfan, I will buy the owl quilt off the shelf. I have a pattern for that but have not made it yet. I would go gu gu over it. My Daughter and Mother praise the things I show them and my HB. You do need some validation sometimes. It makes you feel happy..

I'm sorry your mother and granddaughter didn't appreciate what you had made but I'm sure we have all had that happen. I remember myself making my sister-in-law a cross stitch for her kitchen. It was near perfect and so pretty and I remember wanting to keep it but I gave it to her instead. I clearly recall the disappointment in her face that it was her gift. I probably spent 40 or 50 hours on it. I never made her anything again. My stepdaugther too, she has 3 children and when the kids were young, I always made them matching outfits. There wasn't a matching set that they didn't go get their pictures taken in. Yet one Xmas she came right out and said that she didn't want any handmade things to be their gifts. It was as if she wanted the things but they had no value and didn't count as a gift. They always got other gifts too. It was very upsetting and her dad didn't talk to her for a long time knowing the time and care I put into the things I made. But neither bothered me other than recalling the bad feelings at the time because that just gave me more time to make for those who like my things and appreciate homemade goods.

Personally, anything anyone has ever made me, no matter how small never gets thrown away. Things could be worn out and torn and I keep them because I treasure the fact that someone thought enough of me to make me something.

Thank goodness that you kept on making and disregarded the disappointment. The world needs more makers and creative souls and I'm glad you are still one.

Even if you aren't a Picasso doesn't mean you still aren't a great artist. Visit any museum or watch Antique Roadshow. Sometimes I go "Yikes, that's great art" and then I relish in the fact that beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder and not necessarily is it the most perfect piece the most beautiful piece.

That was my MIL- I cross-stitched a beautiful piece for their 40th anniversary. She looked at it and said "Oh how fancy" ( in her classic monotone). Never saw it again. I have no idea what happened to it and frankly don't care. My FIL was a sweetie and he loved my effort. And of course my husband- he wanted to clobber her haha

How do I find your board? I tried looking and can't find anything called boards. Would it be called albums? If so, how do I find yours as I only see where I can create one. I would love to see your creations.

click on my avatar, it will take you to my page to the right side you will see my albums one just has a few of my quilts using my hand dyed fabrics. the other has several of my quilts, sewing machines and my dye cottage, hope this helps

I found it. :) Wow. You do incredibly beautiful work and your fabrics are to "dye" for. They are so delicious. Each time I watch the quilt show there is something new I want to learn and I'm always buying things to try. I just got an order of dyes to try dying. I might reach out to you for assistance if mine don't turn out 1/8 as pretty as your fabrics. And your dye house - my goodness - I'm so jealous. It is like the ultimate "She Shed" for quilting or dying. It is lovely. Thank you for sharing your work. I loved seeing it and I'll check back often to see what else you have created. And what a great idea to use that as a storage of things you made. I rarely take pictures of my things and often wish I had. I'll start. Thank you again.

your so welcome, and thank you so much for the lovely things you have said about my work. or play, as it so much fun, any help I can give you are most welcomed to. look forward to hearing from you

I made it a rule years ago to not give anything I made to someone who I knew wouldn't appreciate it. It's just asking to get your feelings hurt. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who think "homemade" has no value.

My mom lives in another state so I send her photos of what I'm working on, which of course she always praises to the heavens, (some of us got lucky with moms). I also send WhatsApp messages to two of my sisters-in-law who love to do crafts. We send each other photos of our projects all the time. It's a great way to keep in touch and to get lots of encouragement.

I am also "alone", so to speak and I love the doing but no one to really share with. Luckily I work at a very small company that is involved in the arts and my boss is all about sharing our creative efforts. We have show and tell and a spot to display anything we want others to enjoy. I am fortunate and grateful to have this outlet.

I will never use all the quilts I make and donating them to people in need has great satisfaction. Just knowing that they can be used is enough whether or not anyone finds them attractive, they are still appreciated.

Imagine a baby going home from the hospital wrapped in a quilt you made, a woman fleeing to a shelter with nothing to escape violence wrapped in a quilt you made, imagine a family losing a home from a disaster wrapped in a quilt you made, a veteran receiving a quilt of valor. There are so many outlets to both be grateful for having the ability to create and then sending them out into the world to be of use.