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-   -   went to first guild meeting, felt like an intruder - what would you do? (https://www.quiltingboard.com/main-f1/went-first-guild-meeting-felt-like-intruder-what-would-you-do-t50457.html)

PattyAllayne 06-22-2010 04:40 PM

I live in Maine and I felt the same way when I first started going to our area quilt meetings. I sat alone and thought everyone snobs. I kept coming back and little by little I started meeting people. No question about it...quilds are clicky.

poultney 06-22-2010 05:24 PM

It is hard joining a big group that seems to know each other. I joined a guild with my daughter and I attended several meetings with out clicking. Then during the summer, so many things came up, that we didn't attend. I started back in the fall, have been signing up for classes and attending demos before the guild. That is how you get to know the people and the people get to know you. I have been attending for over a year and half, have yet to show anything in show and tell. I love seeing all of the beautiful works of art the others have made. They give me inspiration. One of these days I will complete a UFO and I will share it. Again, the classes have gotten me to know so many new friends and they have gotten to know me. So, hang in there. I hardly miss a meeting now, I can't wait until the next meeting.

Thread Lady 06-22-2010 06:07 PM

I had a similar experience, but early on when they were looking for volunteers to demonstrate hand quilting at the Fair, I signed up. During that demo I got acquainted with 2 other old time members and from then on they were friendly. That friendship led to working on the Program Committee which broadened my acquaintances. So, I'd suggest you get involved.

I also understand about not quite fitting in as your first love is doll making. Just in the past year and a half we have started a "fiber artists" group in Tulsa which is a chapter of a long standing group in Oklahoma City which is about 100 miles away. We have basket weavers, doll makers, art quilt people, mixed media, weavers, dyers, any kind of fiber related activity. All of us feel like this is where we really belong and show and tell at our monthly meetings is always the highlight as you never know what is coming out of those bags. It's taken awhile but it started when we were entering pieces in a juried show in OKC and we began to find each other and pool our delivery and pickup. Keep your eyes and ears open for fiber shows in your area and other "fiber" people that you can "commune" with. Isn't there a top notch art museum in New Hampshire that caters to fibers?

Keep looking,

Jan

Silver Sandy 06-22-2010 06:30 PM

People forget that the newies feel strange and should welcome them into their group. But don't dispair, join in and talk with different people, attend workshops. I felt this way 2 years ago, but now I know many of the members and enjoy learning from all of them.

burnsk 06-22-2010 07:55 PM

Also check with your LQS and ask if they know of any neighborhood groups. Check with church's in the area and with any Senior Center's. Had same reaction with the group in my town. Ended up joining one that is almost an hour away but they are a fantastic group, very welcoming and a lot of fun. They meet once a month. Also joined a group at the Senior Center that meets every Saturday. You don't have to go to every meeting but I sure look forward to it. 10-20 people.

joellenc 06-22-2010 08:29 PM

I'm kinda shy until I get to know other people-so always feel out of place at first-----but keep going----just looking at the show and tell inspires me to do better and do more challenging quilts!

Barbara Quinn 06-22-2010 09:05 PM

Exactly the same from this side of the world too, I find classes at my local quilt shop much better. I do belong to a couple of groups associated with a church and find them very friendly but have tried others with no success, I am sure they are so wrapped up in their own world that they do not mean to be rude and uncaring. Never take it personally!!!!

Sheree from Chicago 06-22-2010 09:10 PM


Originally Posted by Butterfli19
My neighbor invited me to her quilt guild meeting last week and other than her and the lady sitting next to me, I felt like an intruder. I tried to talk to people but got short answers back and no one seemed to want to acknowledge that I was there.

The other thing is, they had a show and tell and the quilts some of these ladies made were stunning, I mean fabulously breathtaking. Mine are small and simple. I'm also more of a doll maker than a quilt maker but the doll groups around me are more for collectors than makers.

I told my neighbor I would like to join but now I don't know if I would just be disappointed or find it a waste of time, and I don't want to pay dues to have to find this out.

I would love to meet a group of people to get together with that enjoy needle arts but I feel put out by this group already. Am I not giving them a fair chance? Has anyone had anything similar happen?

I did go to a guild meeting with a friend as a guest. It was over 350 woman and I felt the same as you did. I chose not to take it personally and decided these women were probably together for a long time and a bit click-ish. Besides my limitations of sitting with my back, I decided it was not for me. Is there any way you could find out who is into quilting/fiber arts in your vicinity and have a get together to work on projects together?

fishnlady 06-22-2010 10:21 PM

I thought after 10 pages of comments that I would add my two cents worth as well. I think this is a more common problem in this day and age than ever before. I have not tried any guilds but wanted to comment about churches. We have attended for over a year two different churches and made attempts to invite people to our home but everyone seems so cold and unfriendly. I think the world must be getting that way a lot more now than when I was a young person in my teens and twenties 1960's to 1970's. People in general are less courteous and less open. It is sad.

Ellis' Granny B 06-23-2010 03:26 AM

I had the same experience with a group. I took my 90 year old friend because she no longer drives. Out of 100 people, only two spoke. Sometimes it is just a matter of common courtesy. They know when you are a stranger. My mother taught me to be kind, especially to strangers in a group. I have no desire to join and I have been back three times. I wasn't looking for an invitation to the next family gathering, just wanted to meet talented quilters to learn more. This board is my guild too.


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