if you would feel comfortable just asking for the materials needed

Most of the time with friends I charge for materials and what ever they want to give to me for my work. Since most of my friends appreciate what I do they are fair. Fair is different for each person but I wouldn't care if I got anything. If I know that I may encounter some real problems I may choose not to do a quilt only because I don't want to do a poor job or I know that I could never meet with their expectations.

If you don't want to make the quilt, you could refer them to one of the many quilters who make these quilts for customers. That would eliminate any worry about whether you're charging them fairly, and they would still get the quilt they want.

Thank you for the added suggestions. I'm considering all that has been suggested & will post here as to what I decide. Everyone has been very helpful & I thank you all.

If someone. very few, want me to make them a quilt I agree to use whatever fabrics I have and my choice of colors. I just did that for two Ladies. They were happy with them. I make most quilts to donate or give away. Some I make for me.

A gal from my guild charges $500 for a t-shirt quilt and the that does not include fabric for sashing or back. I believe it does include batting. She has been doing these quilts for years and keeps swearing she will never do another then, well, she needs the money for this or that bill and she make one more. :D I have seen her work and it is worth the $500 without a doubt.

Along the same line, when someone sees my quilt cupboard they may ask do you sell any? I really don"t know how to answer. I give quilts to someone that is special to me or has touched me in some way. I guess what I could say is "I guess everything is for sale". Translated - I guess I will sell a quilt but would like a fair price for it and then take it from there.

I did a quick search and found this: https://www.toocooltshirtquilts.com/pricing

I don't know if that's typical, but that at least will give you an idea of where the consumer market is.

I agree with the thought that these people are not the friend, but the relatives. I also think you (sewbizgirl) are underpricing yourself.

This is the hardest thing for everyone who handmakes items. Folks buying generally have no idea of cost. First thing would be to list out the actual costs of the items involved (not a sale price - actual items costs). Line item them - fusible, sashing and border fabric, batting, backing. If they are still interested, then you can discuss your fee. Being a dear friend, you will probably make this a much lower amount than for a 'regular' customer. But, do not be surprised if the balk at this amount. It is incredibly difficult to do this for friends, but, you must put it in writing and you must get a deposit for at least the materials cost. This saves so many problems down the road. Sorry for the loss of your friend.