nananurse

My MIL passed 3 years ago and she put all of her quilting related stuff into a very large tote/tub with my name on it. Inside was a note with all the details of the UFO's, projects in the works and so on. It took me the 3 years since she passed to finish all her projects but they are done. My FIL had asked me to finish them for her and sadly he passed just a few weeks ago but he did get to see them done. I gave the designated quilts to all of her children as requested and they were so happy. A few tears were shed but the loving memory of their mother will always be with them.

tessagin

Went to preview an estate sale and there was an enormous amount of fabric. I knew the lady who had passed away. She used to come into the salon where I worked. It was a massive stroke that took her life also. Her children never used a sewing machine. They didn't have an interest in passing the art down through the family or so they thought. While previewing one of the youngest granddaughters was playing with some fabric on an old child's sewing machine. She was having a ball. I looked at one of the daughters and said "you may want to keep that one at least." They decided to go through and let the little girl decide what she wanted. Turns out when the granddaughter would spend the night she and Grandma played on the sewing machine. That day the girl didn't go to school because she just didn't feel well but she was better at Grandma's. That little girl is 17 now and she still has all of Grandma's patterns. That 17 yr old has her own studio in the walk up attic of their home. She has helped some of the other grands and she still has the sewing machines (5) that belonged to her grandmother. I was able to get some of the material but a lot of it wasn't sold. She has many of the needles that her grand used, on display. I feel so blessed to have met that lady and her family, especially Emmalee. That Christmas many received small quilts from Grandma's stash. Emmalee has everything organized. She was able to also help inform everyone what was what. She has completed many of the WIPs. She only gave quilts to those who had an interest, mainly the grands. Grandma's art skipped a generation but still was passed to another.

HillCountryGal

Everyone deals with grief in their own way. Not always to our liking.

This is a topic most families don't want to venture into. It is an uncomfortable situation.
HOWEVER, those that can and will, sure need to bring it up. And not just about our sewing/quilting supplies & projects.

Thank you for this post.

KalamaQuilts

Grief takes many forms.

bunbytes

I've got that covered. My daughter-out-of-law (someday will DIL) gets first dibs on my sewing room. Everyone in my family knows that to throw out my stuff would cause me to come back and haunt them! They are all aware that there are many places to donate unwanted stuff from a quilter. In fact, my youngest son has promised that he will line my casket with some fabric so I can go happily! LOL

Drocket1

My quilting friend and I have told our families that if something happens, no one goes in our sewing room until ____ (friend) is done with it! They all know we mean it and we have each promised to take care of all the stash! The surviving friend can do whatever they see fit with it. When we get something new with pattern/fabric we put it in a ziploc bag with the receipt so it is easy to see what it was supposed to be for. I hope neither of us has this job for many, many years...but the thought of our families selling it at a garage sale or burning it (!!!!!OMG) has made it easier for us to make the agreement! I love the idea someone had of passing out a yard of fabric to everyone at the funeral. Maybe a quilting bee would be a nice wake too! No one likes to talk about it, but it is inevitable for all of us. Sorry to hear of the loss of your friend at too early an age. Quilting friends are the best!

omacookie

We had a young quilter pass away and left many dollars owed on her care. Two members took all her fabric, completed quilts that were in progress for her family, then had a garage sale of quilting supplies and fabric. The money raised went to pay on her debts. It was awork of love and rememberance of our friend. She and I had been roommastes at quilt retreat. This has me thinking of What to do to help my family in case of my passing.......Hugs PS Sorry of the loss of your BFF

dray965

Recently I made a major mistake concerning this very subject. I have a mid-arm quilting machine with a sit-down table. Although all three of my daughters can sew, none of the do it at all. And certainly none of the three know a thing about quilting.

So in a moment of generosity, I told my sister-in-law, who is an avid piece-er, that when I go, she can have my quilting machine. She was thrilled. (I don't want you to think she is eagerly awaiting my demise...it's just that I am about 15 years older than her and 66. So she naturally thinks I'll be first. LOL.)

The problem started about 2 days later. I was talking to my youngest daughter on the phone and the subject of what to do with things came up. The first thing she said was that she wanted all my 'sewing stuff'. I said, "OK...but you don't quilt, so I'm guessing you mean my Bernina, the embroidery machine, and the serger." She said, "No, I would love to learn to quilt when my children are older."

Oh my...I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'd already given it away. So...I've decided to put aside the cost of the machine and that to one of them...just haven't decided which one yet.

maviskw

I have most of my UFO's in boxes the shape of pizza boxes, and the end of the box is labeled so that "I" can see what is inside. My biggest concern is for my scraps. No one uses scraps as small as I do. I have three bags full of such "crumbs", and I'm sure they will go out when I am gone. It would be no big loss to anyone, but my desire to get at these and make some nice crumb quilts is what keeps me going at present projects. We have had two classes, a challenge, and a mystery quilt project at our quilt club since January, and I have to make a large quilt for each. So I've been busy. But every time I go on a long vacation, I have thoughts of 'What will happen if I don't get back from this?' This summer I will be teaching English in Lithuania and will be gone for a month, so I need to get seven quilts finished before I leave. I sure won't be sewing much in the two weeks after I get back before the show. So now I have to "get my house in order". I also have to get cracking on planning my teaching sessions. I can listen to Lithuanian language tapes while I sew. LOL

HillCountryGal

dray965 ... lesson for me from your experience is to not assume anything about our children. Guess we all need to have that "talk" with our family members.