To stay or go...Applique Bee
07-25-2011, 03:52 PM
#21
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 460
Originally Posted by MadQuilter
So what kind of "advice" are you getting? If you don't feel comfortable in the general discussion, do you really feel comfortable asking for quilting advice?
Can you get advice here? I know there would be a ton of people here willing to offer their know-how.
I would have bowed out the minute it went from neutral territory to someone's home.
Can you get advice here? I know there would be a ton of people here willing to offer their know-how.
I would have bowed out the minute it went from neutral territory to someone's home.
Speak to the folks that you enjoy and see if they would like to get together one on one. You do NOT owe the group a reason for not attending any longer -just inform the organizer that you won't be coming any more. And if she asks why (which she will) just tell her that you prefer to keep that to yourself. Let them wonder! They will invent a far better story than you could!
07-25-2011, 06:28 PM
#23
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: College Station, Texas
Posts: 822
Originally Posted by Kehoeta
Originally Posted by QuiltnNan
if you hit your thumb with a hammer, would you keep hitting it? if it's not fun with them, don't do it with them. quilting should be fun.
Nancy is right - lose the negativity - it is already wearing you down - or you wouldn't be asking the question.
07-25-2011, 06:28 PM
#24
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: College Station, Texas
Posts: 822
Originally Posted by Kehoeta
Originally Posted by QuiltnNan
if you hit your thumb with a hammer, would you keep hitting it? if it's not fun with them, don't do it with them. quilting should be fun.
Nancy is right - lose the negativity - it is already wearing you down - or you wouldn't be asking the question.
07-25-2011, 06:46 PM
#25
Power Poster
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 41,457
Doesn't sound like an Applique Bee to me. Sounds like a Stitch and Bitch! If you are not enjoying your time there, it's time to go. If you've already talked to the organizer and she didn't address your concerns, not much use talking to her again. Try to surround yourself with positive people not negative. Life's too short to be miserable!
07-25-2011, 07:10 PM
#26
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Lakeshore, Ont. Canada
Posts: 2,724
I just quit a guild that I joined last summer. Most of the meetings were o.k. but some were full of arguing. This week was the last straw. So much bickering over nonsense. I had just paid my dues too, so I asked for my cheque back and left at the break. I really like some of the ladies but when it's not fun anymore what's the use in staying. You should think about forming your own group and don't allow any negative gossip. Good luck.
07-25-2011, 07:28 PM
#27
Power Poster
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: SoCal
Posts: 11,900
Been there done that. I stopped going to a quilt group at a famous store because of the negativitiy especially the man bashing. The sad part was I think only a couple of the ladies were rotten apples but dominated everything. Then I had my own group for about 6 years but eventually the ladies that came mostly came to sit, talk and have a glass of wine. I ended up providing wine, cheese and chocolate. It was fun but I still have to quilt. So now I am at another shop but it also has some of that going on. The man bashing seems to be from people that have been divorced for some time. I am not saying their pain and complains are not legit it is just maybe not the appropriate place or atleast not weekly. I am still going because at least these ladies quilt. I guess you have to weigh it off or maybe try not going for some time and see how you feel about it. I would not make a big excit and say to much. It sounds like they are happy with the way it is. I agree on maybe finding another time to meet up with some of the women in that group that do not have that negative attitude. Sorry to hear this is so prevalent.
07-25-2011, 08:49 PM
#29
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Southern Arizona
Posts: 20
I've been thinking about this since I posted this morning. Still haven't come to a definite decision. I tend to agree that something should be said. The organizer isn't the hostess. And starting my own Bee seems like a good idea, I've got another friend already interested in an open sew someplace else. How do I address my complaint to the organizer? "Dear Lily, I've been meaning to mention this for a while...I am tired of the moaning and bitching? and I am tired of the lack of comraderie?" "I don't feel welcome with these ladies?" I suppose I could just bow out, and not explain. Just say "This isn't working for me"...
07-25-2011, 11:45 PM
#30
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Lebanon Missouri
Posts: 2,668
Theres an old saying ""Misery loves company"" Well its their choice and you are not going to change them. Happiness isn't for everyone If I was in your shoes I'd be walking out and not looking back -As suggested invite the few Happy people from this group to your home Start your own get togethers where the conversations are easy and comfortable The sign on my sewing room door says ""Only Smiles Can Enter Here"" :-)
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