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Thread: went to first guild meeting, felt like an intruder - what would you do?

  1. #176
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    One of our members also came up with a birthday idea. She made a big cardboard cake, covered with shiny fabric and beading. She takes fat quarters, rolls them and made candles out of toothpicks and colored paper flames. Toothpicks go into the rolled fats which are inserted into holes in the cake. When it's your birthday month, you go up, everyone sings and you get to pick a fat quarter (but return the candle). Another fun little thing to welcome all members.

  2. #177
    Super Member burnsk's Avatar
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    lots2do - love that idea. I going to suggest it at our next meeting. What a fun thing to do.

  3. #178
    Super Member M.I.Late's Avatar
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    The same thing happened to me. I went a few times and they warmed up. The nearest town to us was 75 miles away so this was our only choice. I didn't continue as they were very clicky. I found it much nicer to get to know the LQS owner and spend a little more time in the store - learned alot doing that. Good luck what ever you do.

  4. #179
    Senior Member skothing's Avatar
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    As an older woman now I find it hard to move as I once could. Sometimes people see me as stand offish. But I am in pain most of the time. It is hard to smile but I force myself to be kind and sweet to those I can get close to. If you ask I will share tips Ive learned along the way. Try sitting by an older lady and ask questions as to how long shes been quilting what her faviote colors are, etc.
    Good luck.

  5. #180
    MI Applique Queen's Avatar
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    Thank you so much for the offer. But I don't like to drive at night, any more than I have to. Night blindness makes it a long drive for me. I work until 5:30 everyday so can't go to day quilds or bee's. I really need to find something close to home. I think I will talk to someone at the 2 fabric stores I go to. I hadn't thought of that. Also we have a senior community center near by. This year I will be old enough to join. I will talk to them also. Thanks to everyone for all the wonderful suggestions.

  6. #181
    Lucille A's Avatar
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    Hey, remember, you can always talk to us.

  7. #182
    Super Member Quilt Mom's Avatar
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    I did not read all 12 pages - true confession time! - but I understand what you mean about the guild experience. I am one who gave it a second - third - yes, about ten years of trying. I have found another group, and am in the process of easing out of responsibilities (efforts that are not appreciated, by the way) and joining whole-heartedly in the other group - right here! I have learned more, and made more friends, since joining the board than in 10 years in the guild. (And it is NOT because I did not try, or did not volunteer)

  8. #183
    MI Applique Queen's Avatar
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    I like that.

  9. #184
    Senior Member foxxigrani's Avatar
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    What??? Did you go to the guild meeting here in Fresno??? I had same happen to me and believe me I haven't been back nor will I? But that is a personal choice. Someone once said that quilters are the best people, well most or some are, the ladies on this board are, but if this many people have had problems, don't you think that is complete truth. I just can't believe that it can happen. I am sorry your experience was like mine. It shouldn't happen and I hope the ladies that did do this, realize what others are saying and finally get smart.

  10. #185
    Super Member burnsk's Avatar
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    You may find that you don't have to be a senior to join the quilt groups at the Sr. Ctrs. I'm the baby at the Sr. Ctr. group here. LOL

  11. #186
    Senior Member Belles.hold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfli19
    The odd thing is there were only ten people there and I would have thought there would be more comradery than side conversations.

    There is another one that has a larger number of members that I may check out as well.
    My guild has 250 members and is celebrating a 30 years anniversary. So it's big and has had a lot of years to form various cliques. The first night I attended, I sought out the President and asked what committee needed a hard worker. I was immediately put to work helping with Block of the Month and met many other hard workers. Long story short, I've been on the board five times, was editor of the newsletter, and am currently Membership Chair. I believe the only way to be welcomed into any organization is to offer to help. I'd say, try, try again. Belles

  12. #187
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    I'm almost afraid to post this. I belong to a quilt guild with 500 members. I also belong to 2 small quilt groups. Love all of them and have never notice unfriendly people. I used to belong to the American Sewing Guild but they were all about sewing clothes and I no longer do that. There are sewing guilds, knitting guilds, doll making guilds, quilt guilds, and just about any other guild that has to do with arts/crafts. Just google and see all the choices we have.

    My guild acknowledges visitors at each meeting. Also, new members get to attend a special meeting each month that is just for members that have belonged to the guild for less than 1 year. They get a lecture each month from a teacher/book writer/talented guild member. They also form small groups during this year. That is how I found one of my small groups. The other I found from an ad in the paper about a new library worker hoping to form a quilt group.

  13. #188
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    I would give it one more try, and see how it goes, some people don't open up on the first meeting. God bless and good luck. Penny

  14. #189
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    I have tried several quilt guilds and felt unwanted, so I started one of my own, meeting weekly. We rented a room at the library, and have gone from 2 to 6 to 4 and now 7 members. We all pay a set amount whether we meet or not and and work on our own quilts, and help each other. We give quilts to the Childrens Home the first part of December. One of the best feelings is to feel wanted and know I will be missed if I don't show up for a meeting. I feel blessed to be with these quilters.

  15. #190
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    Sounds like what I did. I love my friends. It gives me hope and comfort I cannot begin to describe.

  16. #191
    Junior Member jackkip's Avatar
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    I would run, not walk away! Personally I have never even tried to go to a quilt guild. The few times I have been around guilds at quilt shows it is not a pleasant experience. There are times I really wished that I had other "quilting" friends, but I am ok with be a loner. The drama is just not worth the benifit. I know there are people that will disagree with me, but this is how I feel. I want to be happy in life and being around unhappy, grouchy people is not the thing for me.

  17. #192
    Lucille A's Avatar
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    you go girl. What is good for one is not always good for everyone.

  18. #193
    Senior Member Belles.hold's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Mona
    I have tried several quilt guilds and felt unwanted, so I started one of my own, meeting weekly. We rented a room at the library, and have gone from 2 to 6 to 4 and now 7 members. We all pay a set amount whether we meet or not and and work on our own quilts, and help each other. We give quilts to the Childrens Home the first part of December. One of the best feelings is to feel wanted and know I will be missed if I don't show up for a meeting. I feel blessed to be with these quilters.
    Sounds like you started a Bee not a guild, which is wonderful! I belong to two Bees along with my guild. And you're right, with such a small group it's neat to be wanted and missed. As Lucille A said: "What is good for one is not always good for everyone."

  19. #194
    Senior Member Lois-nounoe's Avatar
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    I went to my first ever guild a few weeks ago. Turned out to be a once a year auction of things the others no longer wanted or needed to get money for the treasury. I spent $13 and got so much stuff I started to worry about how to get it all in the front seat of my little pickup! (had a terrific storm while there so wet truck bed!) Did get it all home and the next day had a "Christmas in June" party all by myself! LOL I'm going to go to the next one in a couple of weeks and see if it is what I expect it to be. Hope so. Need to get a social life. We live in the country and no one around with the same interest. Hubby is very supportive but he loves everything I do. Good (or very smart) man!

  20. #195
    Junior Member baubo1234's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theresa
    This Quilting Board is my guild!!! Every one is so friendly and willing to share their knowledge. I'm as happy as a clam!
    That is exactly how I feel here. Everyone is so friendly!!

  21. #196
    Senior Member skothing's Avatar
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    So glad you went. Good for you on the find of good stuff. My one quild has a garage sale for members in the fall. I usally buy somethings. But this year I will have things to sale. I am redoing the basement into a quilt heaven studio. I have 26 cannon lights that make it daylight anytime of the day. I am donating things to my church quild too. They always can use fabric and the like. With 12 woman they put out unbelievable about of charity quilts. Over 50 for children in hospital last year.

    I've read reseach that woman who isolate die sooner with more health problems. We need each other and the human contact. I meet with my friends outside of the quld for lunch or just shopping. Invite someone to go for coffee. If she can't go ask someone else. :-D

  22. #197
    Super Member Baloonatic's Avatar
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    I think it's a common problem, one of my guilds has addressed it in meetings so many times but it still happens! There just isn't a lot of time to make friends in a guild meeting, but being nice to the Newby is a must! Join a smaller friendship group, you can't fail there. After over 15 years in my guild, if my friends (from my friendship group) aren't there to sit with, I feel like the newby!

  23. #198
    Senior Member kapatt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfli19
    My neighbor invited me to her quilt guild meeting last week and other than her and the lady sitting next to me, I felt like an intruder. I tried to talk to people but got short answers back and no one seemed to want to acknowledge that I was there.

    The other thing is, they had a show and tell and the quilts some of these ladies made were stunning, I mean fabulously breathtaking. Mine are small and simple. I'm also more of a doll maker than a quilt maker but the doll groups around me are more for collectors than makers.
    snip....
    Am I not giving them a fair chance? Has anyone had anything similar happen?
    My quilt guild is a little like that. The guild is so big (around 180-200) and many people don't always come to every meeting that I have no idea who is new. In my group, if you do talk to people, they try to be friendly, but they're a liitle anxious to talk to a friend so they don't stay very long.

    As for the stunning quilts that they've made...oh, my gosh. Some of them are published in quilt magazines. My neighbor goes with me to the guild meetings and we just look at each other because their quilts are far above our quilts.

    Now, after saying all of that, my guild is a great group to go to quilt retreats with. They are helpful, and not snobbish. They are great at giving tips on different things and they always admire what you are making. But you see, the quilt retreats are just a small group (maybe 20 or so). We all chit-chat and sew...(and eat chocolates)...sew..chit-chat. It is a lot of fun.

    The best way to join in with the guild, is to get involved at their next quilt show. Volunteer at the many different jobs that they have.

  24. #199

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    I had the same thing happen to me overseas, but I waited about 2months and then I went back and now I have fun with all the ladies. when I came back to the states I join another group and now I'm their leader, I'm glad I went back, keep going it will get better.

  25. #200
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    I just joined a group last november. I felt exactly the same way. I don't think anyone does it on purpose; it's just that they already know one another and migrate towards those they have already gotten to know. I have been there 6 months now and I love it. We have a once a year quilting weekend and I went to that and was amazed at the friendship I found. I am now part of their sewing bee which meets once a month. Also, I volunteered for a committee job which has helped me get to know even more people. But, I know how you feel. But, you should join and I recommend volunteering to help with something. A great way to break the ice.
    Diane in Garnet VAlley, Pa. Member of Brandywine Valley Quilters.

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