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what do you say when you give a gift, and reciepiant says

what do you say when you give a gift, and reciepiant says

Old 11-27-2012, 06:57 PM
  #41  
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Love the comment about not having the "techie" stuff to do the job, but we get it done.
it hurts more when a relative sees how hard you're workinng and dont appriciate it.
My hand pcd star quilt i gave for my moms 50th bd was used as a dust cloth.
A friend asked me to make her a tote for the holidays, i told her how much the fab was plue
all the stuff you need to make it. I overheard her talking about dollar items to my mil to give in return.
She always tells me it looks like i bought it for her, not ' homemade'.
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Old 11-27-2012, 07:08 PM
  #42  
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Originally Posted by lynnie View Post
She always tells me it looks like i bought it for her, not ' homemade'.
This is ALWAYS my goal. For some of us the term "homemade" means "poorly made". I want the things I sew to look unique but of the polished quality of a manufactured product.
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Old 11-27-2012, 07:15 PM
  #43  
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Some terms can sure set us off -

Home made vs custom made or hand-crafted for sewn items

However, Home made fudge or home made cookies - Yummy!

Looks almost store-bought! (Guess my response would depend on WHICH store the commentor was referring to!)
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Old 11-27-2012, 07:43 PM
  #44  
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What interesting responses.

I've saved every thankful card along with the included drawings from my grandchildren. I'm about to finish the last of their first four quilt tops; I'll be quilting them soon using the Elmer's glue basting method. If they aren't treasured, there won't be a second quilt for that child but knowing these finely raised kids, that won't be a problem.

But you never know ........

As for the offer of unusable fabric, I follow the lead of several posters and pass it on to the Salvation Army Thrift Shop (we don't have Goodwill).

As for the ungrateful bride, I was happy to read that the winner kept the quilt!!!

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Old 11-27-2012, 08:19 PM
  #45  
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My story is not concerning a quilt, but same thing. My dad who is now 80 made all of us girls a beautiful cedar jewelry box. They are beautiful with such workmanship. He made one also for my brother's wife, and she took it, and gave it to her young son at the time for a tackle box. It hurt my dad's feelings, and he never again made her anything.
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Old 11-27-2012, 08:34 PM
  #46  
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I used to sew Christmas gifts for all my nieces. One year, one SIL asked me to make a party dress for her daughter. I made a coppery silk shantung into a beautiful party dress, if I say so myself. I had to call my BIL at work and ask if the gift had arrived (I sent it Fed Ex) because I didn't KNOW if it had arrived, much less get a thank you call or note. I got a huffy call from that SIL the next day, complaining that I'd made her look bad. I told her I'd tried to call the house and nobody answered, that I had spent a certain amount of money on shipping the dress, let alone my time and effort on materials, and I wanted to know if it had arrived... And no, I never sewed for that neice again, even though it was not at all her fault that the gift went unacknowledged - she was less than 5 years old. I would have been fine with a simple phone call telling me it had arrived, and thank you, and I was offended that I got nothing.

I've been given fabric when my MIL died (all coat weight wool) which went in storage for a few years, and is now being used by my youngest, who just completed a dress design program. I also got fabric when my own mother went into assisted living - much nicer and lighter fabric, but still not my style. Went in storage with MIL's fabric, and DD#3 is poking her way through it, and will donate it to school for their use, if she decides she herself cannot use it. Anything else given to me is taken and set aside until I feel like sorting through it. I never promise to use anything of it, and I only rarely sew on request anymore. That may well change once I start getting grandchildren.

Mending - only for close family, nobody else. A friend gave me dirty things to mend once, and I mended them, but the next time she asked I told her I was too busy, sorry. Family gets told that either they take it back and launder it or I will, and next time do NOT give me dirty things to touch!
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Old 11-28-2012, 12:46 AM
  #47  
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When I take the time to make a quilt for a family member, I expect a 'thank you'. My husband's family all took quilts home for Christmas one year - not even one thank you. As a matter of fact, I found the quilt my mother-in-law took on a shelf in her spare bedroom closet after she died. I took it back and it is on the back of the sofa in our family room. I have to admit I was hurt.

My brother's sons all sent me thank yous for their quilts I made one Christmas - and they were young! I treasure those handwritten notes and they are safely tucked into the scrapbook with the pictures of the quilts. I just wish I had taken pictures of the kids with their quilts. That was the Christmas that my brother had called to ask me what I would charge to make his youngest son another quilt since the one I had given to him when he was a baby had been 'loved to death'. What a compliment! A member of their church had taken what she could salvage and made a special 'lovey' for Jacob.

My daughter has so many of my quilts stashed away for when she moves out - I think she sneaks them out of my pile when I'm not looking. On the other hand, my son has one of my quilts - made especially for him when he was a teenager (he's 29). It is falling apart and definitely has been loved. It went on many sleepovers when he was growing up, has gone camping, on a trip to California and he still uses it on his bed. Someday, I will get it back and see if I can do any mending on it. I have to admit, he tends to be a little 'picky' about what he likes so I haven't made him a second one - not because he doesn't want one, we just haven't taken the time to select a pattern and fabric together. Maybe I should make that a 2013 project.

Gifts of fabric are always accepted. I love to make scrappy quilts so I get a lot of those little triangles from corners - I sew them together and trim to 1.5" squares - they will get used! If it is something I don't think I can use, I always say thank you and let them know that if I can't use it, I will find a new home for it. Most of the time, the giver just wants to know it will get used for something.
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Old 11-28-2012, 04:00 AM
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I had a family member say (when I gave her a lap quilt) "it's nice but what do I do with it". My husband told her what exactly she could do with it. She is the type that wants money of gift cards as a gift.
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Old 11-28-2012, 04:33 AM
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I am always polite and take the fabric and just give it to someone else that can use it or I donate it to Good will. People mean well so why hurt there feelings they are only trying to be helpful.
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Old 11-28-2012, 04:39 AM
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Ungrateful recipients! What do we do with them? NEVER gift them again!!! I spent much time and money creating six Victorian table top christmas trees (including hand crafted tree skirts to match each one) for all the teen-aged to early 20 year old girl cousins in my husband's family one Christmas as they had all expressed a desire for one when they saw mine displayed in my home prior to the holidays. Did I get even so much as a single 'thank-you'? NO! Bad mannered little so and so's!!
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